Hassled by the feds: is this cool?

[Rev]

So, today, after travelling by train to my delightful 'work programme' appointment, I returned to the station with dreams of fucking off home and, I dunno, going to sleep or posting on here or something.  From small acorns, and all that.

Instead, I was apprehended on the platform because I fitted the description of someone who had committed a sexual assault in the town centre.  I want to stress at this point that no, I didn't, and that furthermore, I hadn't been into the town centre anyway.   I was detained for an hour or so, missed two sodding trains, and given a pink docket thing when they fucked off.

They were just doing their job.  I'm fine with that part.  Here's the thing:  it all happened in the open, with me on a train platform with platforms either side of it.  Hundreds of eyes were on me as I was fingerprinted in the middle of a cunting train platform, and while I had rozzers at either shoulder for the following hour.  That it was loudly announced as being for a sexual assault when there were plenty of people within earshot...  this can't be proper procedure, can it?

The one day I leave my AK at home, too.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

I was mistakenly sniffed by a drug dog at the train station a couple of years back and had to stand there in full view of the public while the police searched me and wrote up the report thingy.

It was a little annoying, but on the plus side the report says I have a slim build.

[Mr Eggs]

London? Just you wait till the Olympics....

Gertcha!

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I fitted the description of someone who had committed a sexual assault in the town centre.

If this isn't a FML moment then what is?

[Rev]

Yeah, I know, but suspect that my coat fitted the description of a coat worn by someone who had committed the offence.  The copy of the docket I was given elaborated on how I was perceived:  I was wearing blue jeans (actually black), and 'smart' shoes (the Dr Martens company will be overjoyed at that description).  My favourite is 'long, dark hair'.  Longish, yes, but I'm blonde.  Good job guys, I'll sleep fucking easily in my bed tonight with you guys protecting me.

[Milo]

To be fair, it was a very unusual coat.

[Replies From View]

[Replies From View]

If this isn't a FML moment then what is?

Feds coming up to you and saying "WE'RE LOOKING FOR A SEX OFFENDER, NOT A SADDO VIRGIN LIKE YOU."

[wheatgod]

You shouldn't have raped her, dude.

[biggytitbo]

This is the kind of harassment that set off Raoul Moat on the track to his tragic rampage of terror.


Lets hope history doesn't repeat itself.

[Icehaven]

So basically you dress like a sex pervert.

[HappyTree]

Humiliation is intimidation. That is what the paranoid state is all about.

[wheatgod]

So why did you rape her?

[Too Many Cochranes]

I drunkenly bought a load of Diazepam off that silkroad site that somebody linked to. I've ordered them to my work address, so I'm shitting myself that they turn up in conspicuous packaging.

I just thought I'd post that to make you feel better, Rev. That sounds horrendous. The fuckers have no need to treat you like that. COmpensation must ensue?

[Saucer51]

I don't have much idea on the proper police procedure other than the reading of Pace, but I can understand how the OP was mortified at having an allegation of sexual assault publicly declared to him. All it takes is for someone who knows you to be nearby and spread news of the incident around. That's completely unfair.

I was in a store when two women working there had a loud and public conversation about their belief that a young studenty bloke with a rucksack was stealing. I had encountered him whilst I was browsing and he just struck me as a typical clueless male shopper sizing up alien toiletry products. He wasn't nearby to defend himself when the allegations took place and although these women may have seen him doing things that legitimately aroused their suspicion, they should have kept their comments for the staffroom and followed their store procedure discreetly.

[I accept the terms of the]

I hope their mouths get sewn up. Awful clucking idiots.

[biggytitbo]

I drunkenly bought a load of Diazepam off that silkroad site that somebody linked to. I've ordered them to my work address, so I'm shitting myself that they turn up in conspicuous packaging.

You'll be shitting yourself even more when they turn up, closely followed by 2 dozen anti-terror police with assault rifles.

[Too Many Cochranes]

Ha ha. I know you're on;y winding me up but I'm beyond caring and I don't think work'll get wind of it. If they do then lock me up. What's the worst that can happen? Anally forced rape against my person? Impossible!

Anyway...on with the thread...

[BlodwynPig]

Anally forced rape by a sniffer dog and your boss.

[biggytitbo]

Or a sniffer boss.

[HappyTree]

That sniffer was really boss!