Rubbish Ears

[Small Man Big Horse]

A few years back I went to the Doctors as I'd noticed (and friends had as well) that my hearing wasn't what it once was. I was expecting another syringing, as that had sorted out the problem in my 20s, but this time around my Doctor told me there was no massive amounts of wax clogging up my ear holes, and that I'd damaged my hearing through years of going to clubs and gigs and festivals. Which is an arse. It's not too bad at the moment, though I do struggle to hold conversations on the tube unless someone's sat right next to me, and in loud pubs some of the time I nod and smile as I don't want to have to keep asking someone to repeat themselves. I hope I'll last a fair few years yet, but no doubt at some point in the future I'll need a hearing aid to help me out.

So does anyone else have rubbish hearing? Experience of hearing aids? Or news of forthcoming scientific developments where I can just grow new ears instead?

[I accept the terms of the]

My right ear has been feeling a bit blocked for a few years now, and I'm hoping it could one day result in a very satisfying syringing. Upsettingly, I read somebody who had identical symptoms and the same acid reflux problems as me and it turned out his middle ear was just full of stomach bile, so it's probably actually that :-(

[Buelligan]

Mmmmm..eh?  Mine is a melange of rock and thousands of miles on a very rorty motorcycle, a fair exchange I call it.  I actually enjoy the fact that I can tune out, watch animated, expressive mouths mouthing, smile, nod and continue thinking uninterrupted.  We march to our own music eh, SMBH?

[Small Man Big Horse]

I see where you're coming from, but most of the time I find it frustrating - especially when someone's trying to confide in you and slowly whispers their secrets, whilst you keep on having to scream "WHAT?!!" in their pretty little faces. Also: Flirting with the opposite sex in a loud club. Not that I go to such a thing more than about once a year these days, but it was nice to be able to have some clue if my way with words was making their heart / loins go crazy.

[Replies From View]

Can anyone hear people in a loud club?

[greencalx]

I have very weird hearing. I can be kept awake the tiniest creak of a floorboard or something moving in the wind in the middle of the night or detect the (for many people) imperceptible hum of a transformer inside hifi equipment behind the music that's playing. But focussing on what someone is saying in a crowded room? No chance.

[Replies From View]

I know what you mean - I get that.  It might be attention though, rather than hearing.

[Brunette Romana 2]

My hearing's never been great, but periodically my eustachian tubes completely block up, and then I am very deaf. It's embarrassing: I'm sure people think I'm ignoring them or being rude. I should see the doctor, but never get round to it, so don't feel I have cause to complain about it really.

[Replies From View]

I'm a bit scared of getting it done because I don't like things going in my ears and my fear is that I'll get a trainee Doctor who stuffs pencils down there.




But look there's hardly anything but water happening.

[phes]

They don't use syringes like that any more. Just a machine that sends pulses of water in your ear. You're more likely to end up giggling than screeching.

[mook]

it's actually a reallynice sensation, and with the benefit of giving you what seems at first to be superhuman hearing. i wonder if colonic irrigation feels as good? only one way to find out i suppose.

[Ginyard]

A superhuman anus would be nice.

[Replies From View]

What would be the power of a superhuman anus, and how would you put it to use?

[Brunette Romana 2]

I used to have my ears regularly syringed as a kid, and I agree with mook, it feels lurrvely!

[GoochDogHigh5s]

A superhuman anus would be nice.

As long as it did not fall into the wrong hands

[mook]

A superhuman anus would be nice.

i've got a touch of the chalfonts* going on at the moment, so even though a superhuman arse is out of the question, one that didn't feel as though it had a 3-pin 13 amp plug rammed up it would be spiffing.






*internal ones, not the full on hanging bum grapes fact fans.

[Buelligan]

A superhuman anus would be nice.

Actually, they're pretty common and surprisingly unpleasant.

[Ginyard]

What would be the power of a superhuman anus, and how would you put it to use?

Smuggle refugees
Party Tricks involving Ninjagos for the kids
Sex telephone
Pot holing
Catching Louis Lane when she falls off something

With the added bonus that its immune from Kryptonite.

[BlodwynPig]

Any room where there are more than 2 people talking and i am deaf as a donkey with no ears. Frustrating ain't the half of it. It also depends on the frequency of the voice that is transmitted to me. i think higher pitched voices are better than lower rumbling deep bass voices.

[Replies From View]

Actually, they're pretty common and surprisingly unpleasant.

This is surprising.  How are they unpleasant?

[Sexton Brackets Drugbust]

This is surprising.  How are they unpleasant?

They tend to be full of shit.

[Replies From View]

Are you sure you're not just thinking of normal anuses?

[Sexton Brackets Drugbust]

Are you sure you're not just thinking of normal anuses?

Super anuses are normal anuses, only moreso.

[Replies From View]

Super anuses are normal anuses, only moreso.

Oh, just like "extraordinary" actually means "even more ordinary".  I didn't know that about super anuses - the impression I was getting above was that they were quite special.

[NoSleep]

Can anyone hear people in a loud club?

The most damaging thing that usually happens in clubs is somebody will place their mouth right up to one of your ears and scream in it (mostly because they can't hear the sound of their own voice); the most painful noise you'll hear all evening. Let me assure you that it's unnecessary to do this at such a close proximity, and talking at a normal level is easier to understand.

[Replies From View]

Well it's very intimate and sexy to have air that has been inside someone else's body going inside your body, and that includes when your ears are damaged from the air being "screamed in" at close proximity.

[NoSleep]

You realise that I'm saying "keep the proximity, but ditch the screaming" (just read it back and it isn't 100% clear)?

[Replies From View]

Deep into your fucking lug holes with my screaming there, lad.

[NoSleep]

I'm sorry, I'm not quite getting that. Could you try slipping a few words in there this time around?

[I accept the terms of the]

Actually, they're pretty common and surprisingly unpleasant.

You've also seen that scat porn outtake where they accidentally matched a superanus with a supertaster, then?