Dear Cabbers - Your help required

[Ms_Demeanour]

An unholy row broke out in the office on International Wimmin's Day. The initial discussion matter regarded the rights and wrongs of 'airbrushing'

The discussions veered off towards 'why women look better with/without make-up' and, women being as they can be in an office, it turned quite nasty with opposing camps at daggers drawn. Camp A are the Company trollopes who spend the GDP of Switzerland on mascara. Camp B are ancient butch gobshites who wouldn't know an eyeliner from a crayon.

This subject will be reviewed in the pub on Monday evening. So what I would like from you lovely boys and girls, if you would be so kind, are your finest examples of 'before/after airbrushing' and/or 'with/without make-up' pictures.

British women in tv/film/media only, please, as this is what stoked the argument in the first place. I'm on the fence with this one. I will update you and let you know which Camp had the biggest talons and handbags. If you have any views on this matter, all the better. I'll throw a few of your comments in to wind them up further.

x

[BlodwynPig]

kate winslet's thigh

[mook]

air brushing is fine, infact the use to the liquify tool/free transform warp tool should be compulsory whenever a set of wayward norks show up. but judging by some of the pics in the "who do i fancy?" thread most of the deviants here seem to favour tits that appear to be having an argument with each other.

[Saucer51]

Ms Demeanour, first of all may I congratulate you on being able to pigeonhole your female colleagues into two convenient, manageable groups! We're so obliging and simple in that way. Trollops or butch gobshites, butch gobshites or trollops. Hmmm.

I definately Ithink air-brushing to a certain extent is acceptable in advertising. But it's not an exact science and getting it right without subliminally instilling shame in people for having wrinkles, spots, scars or stretch marks is not a practice I'd like to police. But I was looking at changing my brand of mascara recently (decisions decisions) and saw an advert for a certain kind that featured unnaturally long, thick and uniformly spaced eyelashes on a model. There was tiny print down the side of the page stating something like model wears false eyelashes and it struck me as absurd and highly misleading for this to be accepted when plugging mascara.

[BlodwynPig]

When i select my mascara, i prefer the ads that show real men with clumpy blobs of tar smeared willy nilly across their lashes.

[JesusAndYourBush]

The tabloids sometimes like to do a piece about how some celeb looks awful without makeup, and they helpfully print the 2 pictures side by side, with and without makeup.  But almost always in the without makeup pic she's scowling (having just got off a 12-hour plane flight or putting the bins out), and in the with makeup pic she's smiling on some red carpet.  It's misleading.  A smile makes all the difference and in many cases she'd have looked perfectly fine in the "without makeup" photo if she'd managed a smile.

[Ms_Demeanour]

In all fairness, I pigeonholed the war lordettes out of irritation, because they are pissing me off. Some are actually being really snotty with one another. I truly am on the periphery of this at present. Women can be real meanies.

I really need pictures. I'll print them off on the photocopier alongside a print of my tits squashed against the glass plate.

[Repentia]

C'mon ♩Vogue, let your blurtip move to the contours♬
Hey hey hey
Neon Glow♬, don't set the brightness too low♬

I think she looks worse in the after picture. At least it looks like she's still breathing in the before. Albeit it looks like she's stumbled and can't quite make it back up on her feet.



There's a curious online fetish where guys film themselves ejaculating over barbie dolls and other plastic toys. So I'm told. This sort of thing must be like hardcore on the covers of everyday magazines. Avril looks way better in the before here.

These are celebrity vanity and fear of old age, which is understandable. But doesn't airbrushing a makeup advert model just promote the idea that the product is shit and doesn't do what it says on the side of the tin?



Oh, and I've just read the thing about British only blah blah blah. Well, Madonna lives here for part of the year, I guess?

[Big Jack McBastard]

But doesn't airbrushing a makeup advert model just promote the idea that the product is shit and doesn't do what it says on the side of the tin?

Yes.

Make-up ads that are photoshopped (pretty much all of them) are basically the manufacturers admitting their product(s) is(are) next to useless once a certain level of ageing/wrinkling occurs, any owner of such an aged/wrinkly fizzog, buying said products thinking they're going to have the desired miraculous effect are gullible as can be and should just get the fuck over the fact they're not as young or hot as they once were.

There are some amazing changes one can enact if the canvas is in reasonable nick though.

[Repentia]

That makes sense, and is pretty much the definition of false advertising then? (Gullibility aside for legalish clarity reasons.)

Kate Whatshername gets an impromptu breast enlargement and facial tattoo for some film poster or other:



That is Kate Whatshername, not Keiran Otherone isn't it?

It's not just women banging endlessly on about yet more bullshit they should care less about and then somehow blaming me in a blazing row out of nowhere at 3am. There are potentially serious political issues raised by presenting photoshopped imagery as "fact":



This is from way back when, with Time Magazine getting caught red-handed blacking-up OJ's police mugshot. They were forced to withdraw the issue and wheel out an "apology".

Which was the newspaper that got caught photoshopping a soldier into a picture to make it more dramatic? Or did they just move the soldier closer to someone else and make it look like he was about to commit a warcrime? I vaguely recall there was a lot of discussion about this sort of thing as a result. You'll probably find more example photos there.

[Big Jack McBastard]

..and a shoulder tattoo, they've also thinned her down a bit as well, as if that were physically possible.

[Nobody Soup]

my favourite recipient of photoshopping (or possibly make-up and careful lighting sometimes) is actually a man.

paul banks of interpol, who has a varying number of moles on his face from picture to picture.

some


a few less (but some different ones)


quite a lot


one