Cooking ham

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DID YOU KNOW?

If you push a pig's snout in firmly enough, it will "click" into its second position, unlatching something and triggering its bum to fall off.

[Treguard of Dunshelm]

OK.  Is this a bit weird though, really?  I mean, what kind of fucked up species does a thing like that with bits of a corpse and then eats it?

Surely it would be more fucked up to do these things and then not eat it? Just stand around, pointing, going "haha, fuck you, mr dead pig".

[Buelligan]

Why, when you put it like that, it seems perfectly fine!  Thank you Treguard of Dunshelm for making my brain feel a great deal better! 

[biggytitbo]

Feel better now?

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They hatch out of golf balls, you know.

[mook]

lummee... you could eat them by the handful like whitebait.

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Yummy!  Crunchity crunch!

[biggytitbo]

He'd probably dissolve on your tongue like a delicious sweet meat.

[danyulx]

Little known fact, that nobody ever mentions: Pigs are more intelligent than dogs.

..than dogs!

[mook]

yes they do. and until they start selling dogs with crackling on old mr. pig is fucked.

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Getting there.  We have dogs with squashed-in, snouty noses.

[Small Man Big Horse]

Little known fact, that nobody ever mentions: Pigs are more intelligent than dogs.

..than dogs!

They're too intelligent for their own good if you ask me. You won't get a pig playing catch, he'll just stare at you like a fucking cat would, and wonder why you think it would be a fun game to play.

And you don't get guide pigs either, cause the cunts hate the blind.

Edit: Pig Fact from Wiki: "In 2011, the NPA calculated that on average British pig farmers are losing £21 per pig they produce. In total British pig farmers are losing £4 million pounds per week, with processors of pig meat making £8 million a week, and pig meat retailers making £16 million a week."

So, um, why do pig farmers farm pigs? Eh?

[Replies From View]

So, um, why do pig farmers farm pigs? Eh?

Revenge.  Simple revenge.

[biggytitbo]

Little known fact, that nobody ever mentions: Pigs are more intelligent than dogs.

..than dogs!

Far more intelligent than dogs, in fact some studies have shown pigs displaying intelligence on a par with primates:

As Smart as the Primates
Intelligence research was done with pigs in the 1990s. One of the experiments was to train the pigs to move the cursor on a video screen with their snouts. When the pigs used the cursors again, they were able to distinguish between the scribbles they already knew, and the scribbles they were seeing for the first time. The pigs learned this skill as fast as the chimpanzees.

All species of pig are smarter than dogs, and capable of abstract representation. "They can hold an icon in their mind, and remember it at a later date," says Professor Stanley Curtis of Penn State University, who discovered that pigs dominate at video games with joy sticks. Curtis goes on to say, "Pigs are able to focus with an intensity I have never seen in a chimp."

Smarter Than a Three-Year-Old Child
Other tests were done where the pigs were taught the meaning of simple words and phrases. Several years later, the instructions were repeated, and the pigs still remembered what to do. The same thing was done with different objects placed in front of them. They were taught to jump over, sit by, or retrieve the item. Three years later, they could distinguish between the items.

The studies also showed:

Pigs lead complex social lives that behaviorists once believed to be true only of primates.
Mother pigs sing to their piglets while they are nursing.
They excel at video games that would be hard for a young child, and sometimes better than the primates.
Pigs dream.
Pigs have a good sense of direction, and can find their way home from long distances.
They learn from watching one another.
Pigs outsmart each other. One will often follow another pig to food before grabbing it away from him, and the pig who was tricked will change behaviors to reduce how many times it is tricked.


Read more at Suite101: The Intelligent Pig: The Smartest Domestic Animal in The World | Suite101.com http://chris-mclaughlin.suite101.com/the-intelligent-pig-a84448#ixzz1optt45jn

[roboko]

This is pretty sad, pigs being buried alive after a foot and mouth outbreak, their screams are distressing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9glPZq27kH4

Had pork for the first time in my life on Friday, don't see what the fuss is about, it tasted alright.

[HappyTree]

pigs dominate at video games with joy sticks

This explains XBL.

Pigs lead complex social lives

This explains Friends.

Mother pigs sing to their piglets while they are nursing.

This explains Britney Spears.

[Buelligan]

So, um, why do pig farmers farm pigs? Eh?

Because pig farmers are less intelligent than dogs, pig meat retailers or even pig meat processors[nb]Who, if they had any sense, would jack it in and set up a retail business.[/nb]?

[Small Man Big Horse]

Had pork for the first time in my life on Friday, don't see what the fuss is about, it tasted alright.

Pork is very average stuff, only to be consumed if you've overdosed on all the other lovely meats of the world. It goes without saying that bacon (burnt, obviously) is a thing of epic beauty though. And crackling will eventually kill me, but I'll never stop eating it.

Because pig farmers are less intelligent than dogs, pig meat retailers or even pig meat processors[nb]Who, if they had any sense, would jack it in and set up a retail business.[/nb]?

That would appear to be the case. I'll try and have a game of catch with a pig farmer and report back as to whether you're right or not.

[danyulx]

Here's a cracking indictment against the human species if ever there was one, for prosperity: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGC9XtnHSU0. I hope their more-intelligent-than-dog cries and screams of pain, terror and confusion haunt your conscience (if you have one) next time you are tucking into your so-called "bacon butty". That or you fucking choke.

EDIT: Wow, someone beat me to it mid-typing. Well done.

[I accept the terms of the]

MY FATHER WAS A PIG FARMER YOU SHITS

(really)

[hummingofevil]

This is pretty sad, pigs being buried alive after a foot and mouth outbreak, their screams are distressing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9glPZq27kH4

Had pork for the first time in my life on Friday, don't see what the fuss is about, it tasted alright.

Ooo... That a little bit grim

Spoiler alert

(totally fucking horrifically fucking horrific.)

[close]

[mook]

Pork is very average stuff, only to be consumed if you've overdosed on all the other lovely meats of the world.

what? what! that is so wrong. you know how you felt the first time you saw tubgirl or goatse? that is how i felt reading that nonsense.

[biggytitbo]

MY FATHER WAS A PIG FARMER YOU SHITS

(really)

[HappyTree]

[Small Man Big Horse]

what? what! that is so wrong. you know how you felt the first time you saw tubgirl or goatse?

Massively aroused?

that is how i felt reading that nonsense.

Good.

The order of meats is as follows:

Lamb
Duck
Chicken
Beef
Bacon
Ham
Liver











Pork.
Goose, other meats that are rubbish.

[Blumf]

The order of meats is as follows:

You left out rabbit, it's not a rubbish meat and it's only your neighbours garden away.

[biggytitbo]

Why does meat from different animals taste different?

[HappyTree]

Maybe it's chicken that tastes like frog.

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I think that anything tasting like chicken does so for a very good reason, the feisty little minxes.