What the blazes?

[non capisco]

Walking home late one evening I passed the closed-down pub that sits at the foot of my road and saw something inexplicable going on through the window. Approximately twelve burly middle aged men, all with deadly serious and intent expressions on their gin-blossomed faces, all doing the thumbs-in-belt torso rotating Mud 'Tiger Feet' dance. As far as I could make out there was no music playing. I couldn't help but stop and watch for a bit, probably for about a minute before paranoia that they might become aware of my spying forced me to beat a reluctant retreat. They never stopped doing that dance in all that time, seemingly to no audio accompaniment, and man did they ever look serious about it. What the blazes was going on there?

A long while ago I was walking into work in Central London, first thing in the morning, and decided to take a short cut through a road less than affectionately referred to by staff as 'Piss Alley'. Up ahead I suddenly noticed there were two people, I'll go out on a limb and guess they were probably a homeless man and woman, engaging in a bit of al fresco lovemaking. Fair enough. I could have decided to afford them their privacy by walking back the way I'd came and taking the long route but I was late for work and a bit turned on, so I decided I'd briskly walk past their open-air sex festival. A split second before i got to them they both ceased their activities and loudly sang the Stranglers refrain "WALKING ON THE BEACHES LOOKING AT THE PEACHEEEEEEES!" at me before carrying on as before. What the blazes?

Has anything you've seen recently made you think 'What the blazes?'

[Old Nehamkin]

Walking home late one evening I passed the closed-down pub that sits at the foot of my road and saw something inexplicable going on through the window. Approximately twelve burly middle aged men, all with deadly serious and intent expressions on their gin-blossomed faces, all doing the thumbs-in-belt torso rotating Mud 'Tiger Feet' dance. As far as I could make out there was no music playing. I couldn't help but stop and watch for a bit, probably for about a minute before paranoia that they might become aware of my spying forced me to beat a reluctant retreat. They never stopped doing that dance in all that time, seemingly to no audio accompaniment, and man did they ever look serious about it. What the blazes was going on there?

Did you return to the same location the next day to find the pub WASN'T EVEN THERE?

[Don_Preston]

I thought this was a thread about blazers! :(

[Saucer51]

Walking home late one evening I passed the closed-down pub that sits at the foot of my road and saw something inexplicable going on through the window. Approximately twelve burly middle aged men, all with deadly serious and intent expressions on their gin-blossomed faces, all doing the thumbs-in-belt torso rotating Mud 'Tiger Feet' dance. As far as I could make out there was no music playing. I couldn't help but stop and watch for a bit, probably for about a minute before paranoia that they might become aware of my spying forced me to beat a reluctant retreat. They never stopped doing that dance in all that time, seemingly to no audio accompaniment, and man did they ever look serious about it. What the blazes was going on there?

Those Freemason ceremonies are getting increasingly bizarre. My grandfather would turn in his grave.

I saw something that seemed totally bizarre but in the end it made a strange kind of sense but still sort of shocked me too. Out shopping, a lady aged about 60, dressed in a very matronly fashion, half-fainted and slid to her feet by a shop window. People gathered to help and amidst it all was her companion of similar age, trying to panickingly bring her friend back to full consciousness. She did this by reminding her of what her favourite "funny" song was: Who Killed Bambi, sung in the same bleating fashion as Eddie Tenpole Tudor. That was utterly bizarre to think that two old dears would even be aware of such a song from such a film. Then I surmised that the Sex Pistols reigned about 35 years ago and these women in cardies and grey hair were quite possibly punks. That blew me away too.

[Buelligan]

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[Buelligan]

[Icehaven]

OP reminded me of the time of one Sunday afternoon I walked past a pub I'd long believed to be closed down (it doesn't even seem to have a door), and there were just loads of kids inside playing pool, like young kids, about 8-10 years old, not an adult in sight.

[BlodwynPig]

OP reminded me of the time of one Sunday afternoon I walked past a pub I'd long believed to be closed down (it doesn't even seem to have a door), and there were just loads of kids inside playing pool, like young kids, about 8-10 years old, not an adult in sight.

That's just most pubs these days...

I once walked past a pub in Gosport on a tuesday afternoon and noticed a pig serving behind the bar. What was that all about?

[Big Jack McBastard]

A split second before i got to them they both ceased their activities and loudly sang the Stranglers refrain "WALKING ON THE BEACHES LOOKING AT THE PEACHEEEEEEES!" at me before carrying on as before. What the blazes?

Maybe they wanted you to call the cops.

One of their tramp companions might have been stuck in the sewer, or even on the end of a skewer.

Were they like that for the whole summer?

etc..

[GoochDogHigh5s]

Maybe they wanted you to call the cops.

One of their tramp companions might have been stuck in the sewer, or even on the end of a skewer.

Were they like that for the whole summer?

etc..

Get a grip

[dr beat]

A couple of years ago, just after I'd moved to London for a second stint there, I was on the escalator leaving Warren Street tube station en route to running some errands on Tottenham Court Road.  In front of me was a fairly average-looking forty-something bloke, who was, in the main, conventionally attired, wearing a black polo shirt and black trousers...except that his trousers were tucked into a pair of knee-length, high-heeled ladies boots.  He only looked slightly self-conscious.

[Nuclear Optimism]

A few years ago I was hiking up a remote hill.

About halfway up, I saw this figure in the distance, walking in the opposite direction down the pathway. As he came closer, I saw that he was an Asian-looking man wearing a full three-piece suit, pushing an empty shopping trolley and whistling. Now this was miles away from anywhere, so what the hell he was doing with that outfit and that trolley I don't know.

As he approached me, he turned and said "Hey Boo-boo" in a cheery Yogi Bear voice and walked on. It bemused me so much that I couldn't think straight for the next half hour so I ended up getting lost.

[HappyTree]

I have loads of these, far too insane to tell you about.

Maybe one less weird one, relatively speaking: I was in the park at about 3am, climbing one of my favourite trees. I have no idea what it's called. Not too tall, sturdy trunk, branches out almost at 90 degrees about 8 feet up and has thick, oily leaves. There was a pétanque playing area and these trees formed 3 rows along it. My favourite had a configuration of branches that allowed one to sit up there almost as if in a deck chair, it was most comfortable.

Anyway, I sat there looking at the sky for a while and noticed it was getting a little misty. I thought of going back home but decided just to wrap my coat a little tighter and enjoy the diffused moonlight. Then one particularly thick waft of fog came down and settled over the tree I was in. It was basically a cloud, about 3m in width I'd say. It then descended and enveloped me in itself so I couldn't see anything beyond about 3 feet around me.

I remember being surprised that it didn't feel wet or cold. Then some other stuff happened and it buggered off again. I refer to it in my mind as my "Monkey" moment.

[Buelligan]

That's certainly a lovely monkey moment alright, HappyTree.

When I was very little, I lived in East Africa.  Sometimes, in the early mornings, I would run down to the sea alone and walk along the white coral sand, at the very edge of the waves, looking for things. 

The coastline in that part of the country was totally unspoilt and empty, just trees and sand, no people at all.  One day, after a storm, I went to the sea and I saw hundreds of tiny bright blue balls washing up.  I determined to catch one.  When I had it secure in my cupped hand, floating in a tiny bit of sea, I was transfixed as it unrolled and became a miniature, azure blue, floating dragon.  I let it go back to its brothers in the ocean.  But this meeting was a most magical moment for me and opened my mind to the mystery and incredible beauty of this planet.

I never forgot (or ceased to believe in) the Sea Dragon and years later I managed to track down Glaucus atlanticus .  That was my "Dragon" moment.

[Replies From View]

Anyway, I sat there looking at the sky for a while and noticed it was getting a little misty. I thought of going back home but decided just to wrap my coat a little tighter and enjoy the diffused moonlight. Then one particularly thick waft of fog came down and settled over the tree I was in. It was basically a cloud, about 3m in width I'd say. It then descended and enveloped me in itself so I couldn't see anything beyond about 3 feet around me.

How could you see how wide the cloud was?

[BlodwynPig]

A few years ago I was hiking up a remote hill.

About halfway up, I saw this figure in the distance, walking in the opposite direction down the pathway. As he came closer, I saw that he was an Asian-looking man wearing a full three-piece suit, pushing an empty shopping trolley and whistling. Now this was miles away from anywhere, so what the hell he was doing with that outfit and that trolley I don't know.

As he approached me, he turned and said "Hey Boo-boo" in a cheery Yogi Bear voice and walked on. It bemused me so much that I couldn't think straight for the next half hour so I ended up getting lost.

They gotta make a film of that! A cross between Mike Leigh, Haruki Murakami and Hanna-Barbera - "Shopping for Clouds" or something

[BlodwynPig]

I never forgot (or ceased to believe in) the Sea Dragon and years later I managed to track down Glaucus atlanticus .  That was my "Dragon" moment.

Woah!

[Cerys]

Seconded.  That's beautiful.

[mook]

^are you still obsessed with squids cerys?

[Cerys]

'Obsessed' is such a strong word for it.

_Yes

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I remember when I was a kid having to take tins of peaches and beans and things to school on the day Harvest happened.  I didn't really know what was going on - just that we had to bring food items and because they couldn't be perishables everything was tinned.  We would bring them in, and whilst waiting to go into assembly we'd ask each other what we'd brought, show them to each other, and as we were leaving assembly we'd put these items into a big heap so they could be collected by whomever.

Well, on one of these Harvest days, I distinctly remember talking to a kid who had brought in

Spoiler alert

a screwdriver

[close]

for Harvest.  He definitely wasn't lying to me.  He put it on the pile with all our things, and we all filed out of the room.

[Dead kate moss]

About ten years ago in Amsterdam me and my gf were wandering about yes stoned and it had been amusing to sing the start of Tina Turner's 'Steamy Windows' in a gruff voice. Do it now, its amusing. Anyway the song was about ten years old and forgotten at that point, but at one point we were passing some old dutchman getting on his bike and peddling away and he sang loudly at us as he passed 'STEAMY VINDOWS!' What are the odds? Maybe he'd heard us do it earlier.

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What was the time gap between you singing it and him doing so?

[Dead kate moss]

Hours, it couldn't have been directly connected.

[Replies From View]

Excellent.

Maybe it had been on the radio or something that morning, so you would have been sharing the same source.

[Dead kate moss]

I don't think so. I think we had no access to radio. It was either a coincidence, or the old dutchman had spied us and thought 'Sacre Bleu Zut Alorts! Zoinks, zer's (I can't do the accent) zat couple I saw singing 'steamy windows' earlier (which I have since found is very much fun) and now I vill freak zem out by singing it at zem as I pass on my bike. STEAMY VINDOWS! Haha zat vos most amusink etc'

[CaledonianGonzo]

STEAMY VINDOWS

Shteamy windowsh, surely.

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I'd assist here but my Richard Scarry books are at my parents'.