Stupid tonsils (home remedies thread?)

[falafel]

They're like big yellow golfballs. It's getting desperate. Might have to pay a tramp to cut them out.


Remedies?

[mook]

remedies? pay a tramp to cut them out; i read that on the internet somewhere.

[Saucer51]

I keep getting Kissing Tonsils which resemble a little pair of cat bollocks. It makes swallowing very uncomfortable and last time, when they seemed to swell up in a moment, I became a little worried. That made me visit my GP who didn't seem worried at all and did not prescribe me anything. It's quite annoying that we're encouraged to be vigilant about our health and report any doubts we have yet at the same time we're told not to bother the practice with minor ailments. The advice I can give is only the usual stuff - see the GP to safe rather than sorry. In the meantime, gargle with salt water.

[mook]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gB4mPViuOGY

Mustard is also important because it contains the light unit of Selenium which can be found on the periodic table. Selenium is a perfect female, preponderantly magnetic atom that is a perfect mate for calcium which is what tonsiliths are mostly made from. Selenium should pull calcium away from the skin as it is a more suitable match than the atoms of the skin in mouth. Good luck on everyone's
treatment....

wise words, probably.

[falafel]

So you're saying I should get them cut out,  then roast them in a mustard crust? Or more of a tartare sort of thing? What are the medicinal properties of capers and Worcestershire sauce?

[Gulftastic]

Hope that it turns into Quinsy.

That's what happened to me when I was 13 and I nearly died, so they had no choice but to remove them.

[falafel]

What a twee name for a life-threatening disease.

"Sorry, can't come in, I've got quinsy"
"Fuck off, get yer pants on"

[mook]

So you're saying I should get them cut out,  then roast them in a mustard crust? Or more of a tartare sort of thing? What are the medicinal properties of capers and Worcestershire sauce?

treat them as if they were sweetbreads i reckon.

[falafel]

Broad beans, dressed with lemon and basil with a hint of raw garlic, smoked sea salt and crushed green peppercorns?

[mook]

yes, and have toploader playing in the background to thoroughly re-create that 90s vibe.

[Ginyard]

I keep getting Kissing Tonsils which resemble a little pair of cat bollocks.

I often kiss cat's bollocks so I know just what you're talking about.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

When I got itis of the tonsils, caning endless quantities of penicillin destroyed the infection within an awful, awful week. It also destroyed elements of my body which I required, so it took a while to get my immune system restored. It really is a debilitating idiotic illness made from tankards full of shit.

[Caroline]

Urgh, had tonsilitis last year. Always assumed it was just having a sore throat. Three days of not being able to eat and barely being able to sleep later...

Home remedies - my doctor suggested making a paste of honey and turmeric and eating it. I did. Can't say it helped particularly, also it tasted fucking horrible. Good luck!

[Blue Jam]

[nb]If you are squeamish, DON'T door a Google Image Search for "door slamming".[/nb]

[confettiinmyhair]

I tend to drink a lot of ice cold Old Jamaica Ginger Beer (which I absolutely hate) whenever I have 'throat issues', it tends to do the trick.

[mook]

^ is that a euphemism? sounds rapey to me. is that a euphemism? sounds rapey to me.

[olliebean]

I had tonsilitis on one side a few years back, but thought it was something more serious because I'd had my tonsils out when I was a child. Turns out they can grow back. Anyway, antibiotics put paid to the itis, but now I have to gargle with salt water every morning or I get tonsil stones.

[Sexton Brackets Drugbust]

I got my tonsils removed when I was about 7 years old, in the good old days when you could get rid of them for fun if you fancied (although I did regularly suffer from awful, painful tonsilitis). Nowadays I understand you've got to suffer tonsilitis something ridiculous like 17 times a year before they'll operate.

My sister had Quinsy on a family holiday in Fuerteventura. Her throat looked like it was sealed up - rather like in that Blue Jam Sketch in fact - and the tonsils were covered in tiny white nodules that stank of death and poison. It was great! I spent the holiday playing in the pool in the sunshine, safe in the knowledge my tonsils were long gone, while she slept fitfully on the couch in the villa and struggled to breath, while our parents watched over her and tried to make her drink foul Spanish medicine. I WON THAT ONE!

(I was concerned really.)