Pool rules

[Flouncer]

In my local, if you get 7-balled then your opponent has to sodomise you whilst the bar staff pelt you with dry-roasted peanuts and scampi fries.

[Don_Preston]

In my local, if you get 7-balled then your opponent has to sodomise you whilst the bar staff pelt you with dry-roasted peanuts and scampi fries.

A typical night at a Yates' Wine Lodge.

[The Boston Crab]

I know a bloke whose girlfriend gave him £250 to buy a Playstation 3, for his birthday.

"Keep your cash. You don't own me."

Also, what a lazy fucking bitch. 'Here, go buy yourself something nice.'

[small_world]

There was a pub not TOO many miles away from where I live, that had one of these...

And a landlord who could be bothered to explain what the fuck....

[djtrees]

There was a pub not TOO many miles away from where I live, that had one of these...

And a landlord who could be bothered to explain what the fuck....

THE greatest pub game bar none (apart from cribbage) Is there a bar billiards finder on the internet so I can find the nearest one to go on? They really are quite expensive to buy as well. Also why the fuck are people playing pool in pubs not with their mates? You giant weirdos. People might be better than you, or you might be better than them, you have to take it seriously, you can't arse about. Its just a game innit.

[El Unicornio, mang]

Two shots + carry on is an unnecessarily generous reward for the other player fouling. Two shots is sufficient. (Ie, pot the first one, miss the second shot, that's it for you.)

Two shots is generous to begin with. You don't get anything like that in US pool, so basically there's very little incentive to not foul. Also, I've played hundreds of games of pool in the US, and I've never seen anyone attempt a snooker. I do them quite often and they're always "What are you doing??", then they realise what I've done and understand, and get annoyed at me :-D

[mook]

bar billiards has had a bit of a revival down here in leafy sussex over the last couple of years, and you can sort of see it's appeal. the table takes up less space than a pool table and for a quid you get 15-20 minutes of good old fashioned hard cueing. fucking value that is. the downside to it is, the game is only fun if the people playing it are rubbish, building up a good little break and then losing the lot by knocking over the black pin never fails to be funny. it all goes to shit though when good players start playing, they've got the game sussed and just rack up breaks of 10s of thousands of points by just repeatedly running the red ball (scores double points) and the white ball into the 50 point pockets. this can go on for the duration of the game, so yoy end up with one player actually playing the bloody game, and the other standing next to the table looking like a tit and doing 20 minutes of basic mental arithmetic.

cribbage however, it the best game ever invented, but i would say that 'cos i'm unfuckingbeatable at it.

[SetToStun]

cribbage however, it the best game ever invented, but i would say that 'cos i'm unfuckingbeatable at it.

I don't know how to play cribbage. Never have. I see a lot of people playing it in pubs but so far as I can make out, it's two or more people calling out a succession of random numbers, putting some cards face up on the table and then playing matchstick leapfrog on a little wooden thingy. I can see how that would pass the time but would never feel at ease joining in a game where it's traditional for a player to suddenly and without warning blurt out "and one for his nob". Cribbage is a strange and troubling thing.

Bar billiards, however, rules hard. Bar skittles is also aces but you never, ever find pubs with the alley any more, not unless you're somewhere in darkest rural Devon, anyway.

[mook]

it is a strange and troubling thing, you're an odd sort, you'd take to it like a duck to water. it might seem confusing at first, what with all the "fifteen two, fifteen four, fifteen six, a pairs eight, six makes fourteen and one for his nob. fifteen... ha, kop that you old git." and it's the one of the few pub games i know of where you can say to the woman you're playing "shame your box is shit." and not get a pint thrown in your face. honestly, the next time you see someone playing it, offer them a pint and they'll teach you how to play.

[Don_Preston]

The best pub game, of course, is ferret legging.

[SetToStun]

it is a strange and troubling thing, you're an odd sort, you'd take to it like a duck to water. it might seem confusing at first, what with all the "fifteen two, fifteen four, fifteen six, a pairs eight, six makes fourteen and one for his nob. fifteen... ha, kop that you old git." and it's the one of the few pub games i know of where you can say to the woman you're playing "shame your box is shit." and not get a pint thrown in your face. honestly, the next time you see someone playing it, offer them a pint and they'll teach you how to play.

You make it sound strangely enticing but, to be honest, I think I'm beginning to cherish my ignorance; it makes watching the game so much more intriguing. However, I do feel like I'm missing out on something that seems quite decadent so I might just have to give it a go.

[Ted-Maul]

Funnily enough, i've organised a Christmas Pool Tournament for some people in work which we are doing tonight and i have been subjected to numerous arguments and entreaties about what the rules should be. I tried looking the proper rules up online but no set seemed to satisfy so i've gone for just using a bastardised version of the rules i have been brought up playing:

No 2-shot carry
One shot on black
You have to name pocket on black
NO ball in hand
Potted white goes behind the line (cos the tables have no D)
(and cos it happened to me whilst practicing yesterday) If you pot the black off the break, it gets respotted.

I agree with Shoulders' rules because it would be too easy otherwise and fair enough, sometimes you're relying on your opponent not to foul on purpose but if you get beat by a cheat, who is the real loser?

After an initial uptake of about 12 people willing to play, the tournament has grown in the last week to 21 competitors so i have bought a little snooker trophy/figurine for the eventual winner. I dont think anyones gonna actually bring their own cue (but many do own them!) and i have banned anybody bringing their own cue-ball...... which does apparently happen in snooker leagues.

I might arragne Christmas Cruibbage for next year, i'll have to learn the rules but i'm gonna be well up for some Ferret Legging with the ladies later on tonight.

[mook]

just make your life easier by getting pissed and playing a dozen rounds of killer for a tenner a player instead.

[King Cold]

Two shots is generous to begin with. You don't get anything like that in US pool, so basically there's very little incentive to not foul. Also, I've played hundreds of games of pool in the US, and I've never seen anyone attempt a snooker. I do them quite often and they're always "What are you doing??", then they realise what I've done and understand, and get annoyed at me :-D

Similar (lack of) rules in Holland in the bars Ive played in:

No two shots after a foul and you cant move the cue ball either. If you happen to be snookered after a foul you just have to try and get out of it with one shot.

To win you have to 'bank' the black with some kind of trick shot (ideally the crazier the better !) into a nominated pocket. If the black goes into the wrong pocket you lose.

The locals I spoke to explained that the idea of these (frankly ridiculous) rules is to stop the advantages of slow defensive play and reward players who can produce the clever shots. In their view it also evened up the game a bit in that it allows a lesser player to stand more chance against a good player. They reckoned that using english rules (2 shots carried, moving the cue ball etc) meant that a good player would almost always beat a poor player which made the game no fun for either and therefore pretty pointless.

[Dead kate moss]

The point is that a good player has practiced to be good and should be rewarded by beating lesser players? Don't really see how their rules even things out anyway. I'd say to those crazy Dutchmen, that when I was a beginner, using the two-shots rule helped me against better players. They would tend to avoid snookering because it's a bit of a pussy-move, but it's fair enough if you're a novice.

If you foul, you should be penalised. Two shots that carry is all I've ever played, but if people think it should not carry, it's like, after an opponent's foul, if you miss, you have another shot, but if it pots, you don't have that extra carrying? Meh, I don't like it but it wouldn't ruin the game.

I've played the 'got to pot the black off a double' (and got to nominate the pocket occasionally, depending on local rules) if agreed upon at the beginning it's a fine way of two good players getting more value out of their pound in an emptyish pub, if nothing else.

[Gavin M]

If you foul, you should be penalised. Two shots that carry is all I've ever played, but if people think it should not carry, it's like, after an opponent's foul, if you miss, you have another shot, but if it pots, you don't have that extra carrying? Meh, I don't like it but it wouldn't ruin the game.

The fouler is being punished because that extra shot gives your opponent a free go to make the table more favourable to them e.g. by covering a pocket or moving some awkward cushioned balls.  Or they can take advantage of being able to hit any ball first (as long as they don't pot an opponent ball or the 8) by knocking one of yours out the way if it's causing problems.  A thinking player won't just use the first shot of the two to take a stab at a pot.

[katzenjammer]

If you foul, you should be penalised. Two shots that carry is all I've ever played, but if people think it should not carry, it's like, after an opponent's foul, if you miss, you have another shot, but if it pots, you don't have that extra carrying? Meh

But you can use your first shot to block a pocket, which is often better than actually potting a ball, tactics innit!

Edit:  ^^ Gavin M said it better

[momatt]

"Keep your cash. You don't own me."
Also, what a lazy fucking bitch. 'Here, go buy yourself something nice.'

Well, that's true..  She is fucking lazy.  Like a particularly slow-moving sloth; I've even seen moss and algae growing on her.

[Dead kate moss]

Not sure i explained myself very well, i agree with the last two posts - having two shots and a free ball allows a chance to pot an annoying opponents ball that's been covering a pocket, take a punt on smashing them all over the place, or move one ball while getting a better position to clean up with the rest. Not having two shots after a foul is madness, not having them carry beyond the first shot... that only works if you do pot two or more balls, then your advantage of the shot after you miss has disappeared -  it would mean you would feel it wise to use that extra shot on your first shot to set things up, right?  I think the 'one shot on the black' (ie the extra shot disappears when the game might be over) is enough, if necessary, to reduce the advantage a little and give the other player a chance at that point. But personally I prefer two shots on the black, you've 'earned' them, you get to keep them.

Each pub should make the effort of putting their house rules up somewhere though.

[King Cold]

just make your life easier by getting pissed and playing a dozen rounds of killer for a tenner a player instead.

agreed. cant beat a good game of killer - especially for a christmas do.


do the rules for killer vary much round the country? Version we play :

£1 per player

3 lives each

First rack up is paid for out of the pot but after that whoever pots the black pays for the next re-rack if needed

The player who breaks gets 2 shots

A miss or a foul = 1 life lost

Theres no way of 'gaining' lives (but I have played in pubs where potting 2 balls with one shot = 1 life back)

You have to pot a ball to win (ie you dont win by simply being the player left after everyone else is out - no matter where you are on the list of players). If the last player fails to pot a ball the game starts again. Every player goes back to 3 lives but has to put another quid in. Or you can choose not to rejoin the game but you dont get your original quid back.

[mook]

the way i've always played it is you all start off with three lives, the person who breaks gets one more shot to pot a ball if they don't make a pot on the break. you lose a life if you fail to pot a ball or pot the white, but you gain a life if you pot the black. after each game is finished the order of the players is changed about so there's none of that "leave us up mate" going on. the money for the re-racks comes out of the pot, the landlord of my local normally just chucks one of the keys to the table though - killer is a lock in sport after all.