Kim Jong Illest (deeeeeeeeaad)

[Garfield And Friends]

So ronery, so dead.

Not as good as Kim Wilde nor Kim Possible, but better than Kim Kardashian.

[Noodle Lizard]

Shows how much I know, I wasn't even aware Kim Jong was ill.

(I thank you)

[The Region Legion]

Well I'm going to be the controversial one and say good bloody riddance. That's right, I said it.

[chocky909]

Kim Jong Ill? More like Kim Jong dead! Yeah?

[Garfield And Friends]

The funeral march will be like this, with a smidgen less sexiness/happiness.

[Slaaaaabs]

Died of mental and physical fatigue on a train apparently. So doing a crossword while having a shit then?

[Garfield And Friends]

I just realised that I didn't provide a citation, and no one called me on it. Obviously I'm universally trusted!



_{Hmmmmm. I must remember that for the next Thatcher thread...}

[biggytitbo]

I'm gutted.

[Danger Man]

Kim was a big Joy Division fan



NOT THEM!!!

This lot..

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kippumjo

The Gippeumjo (translated variously as Pleasure Group, Pleasure Groups, Pleasure Squad, Pleasure Brigade, Joy Brigade, or Joy Division) is a collection of groups of approximately 2,000 women and girls between the ages of 13 and 40 (although most are believed to be between 18 and 25), which are maintained by the head of state of North Korea for the purpose of providing pleasure and entertainment for high-ranking Workers' Party of Korea (WPK) officials and their families, as well as occasionally also distinguished guests.

Each pleasure group is composed of three teams:
1.Manjokjo (hangul: 만족조; hanja: 滿足組) – a satisfaction team (which provides sexual services)
2.Haengbokjo (hangul: 행복조; hanja: 幸福組) – a happiness team (which provides massages)
3.Gamujo (hangul: 가무조; hanja: 歌舞組) – a dancing and singing team (whose members are sometimes asked to dance semi-nude)[

Crazy name, crazy guy.

[biggytitbo]

Do you think Kim ever believed any of this stuff or was he just doing it for a joke?

[biggytitbo]

This is a fun top 10 of crazy Kim facts - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bx4iC5Gtzk8&feature=youtu.be


It misses off the best one though:

He was the best golfer the world has ever seen
In 1994, Pyongyang media reported that Kim Jong-il shot an amazing 11 holes-in-one to achieve an unprecedented 38-under-par game on a regulation 18-hole golf course - on his first try at golf.

[BlodwynPig]

Can we now expect the inevitable Ricky Gervais biopic "Kim's II Short"

[Some Herbert]

A very sad day for all love decency and equality in the world. Kim Jong-il was a great man and he will be hugely missed by his people.

Not that I'd expect any of you filthy capitalist scumbags to give a shit. You're too busy accumulating wealth and worldly goods to care about the passing of a towering statesman like the Dear Leader. Enjoy your Mr Cameron, he's about the best you can hope for in your cesspit of a nation.

[Zero Gravitas]

A very sad day for all love decency and equality in the world. Kim Jong-il was a great man and he will be hugely missed by his people.

Not that I'd expect any of you filthy capitalist scumbags to give a shit. You're too busy accumulating wealth and worldly goods to care about the passing of a towering statesman like the Dear Leader. Enjoy your Mr Cameron, he's about the best you can hope for in your cesspit of a nation.

Are you joking or are you that juche mentalist that occasionally comes by?

[CaledonianGonzo]

Are you joking or are you that juche mentalist that occasionally comes by?

Both?

[Barberism]

I'm going back to South Korea in February. Should be interesting.

[Zetetic]

Are you joking or are you that juche mentalist that occasionally comes by?

Ah, yes. Juche Mentalist. Not the worst use of The Mentalist format, but having every case solved by Kim Il Sung tell his son the answer did rather kill the tension.

[Santa's Boyfriend]

Not that I'd expect any of you filthy capitalist scumbags to give a shit. You're too busy accumulating wealth and worldly goods to care about the passing of a towering statesman like the Dear Leader. Enjoy your Mr Cameron, he's about the best you can hope for in your cesspit of a nation.

But we hate Cameron too!  In case you hadn't noticed we're not accumulating wealth and worldly good anymore, we're all finally starting to pay for our capitalist crimes as the billionaires at the top of the pile enslave the rest of us.  Get with the programme!

EDIT: Don't you live in West Wales?  Is Cameron not screwing you too?

[Some Herbert]

I'm perfectly serious. Mr Kim was a truly great man, and a brave one too, for standing up to the disgusting wretches that perpetrate their despicable capitalist crimes across the globe. The loss of Kim Jong-il, the Dear Leader, is a tragic blow to the only nation left leading the good fight against the forces of darkness and despair. I'm gutted he's gone.

[The Boston Crab]

How do you know?

[Santa's Boyfriend]

I'm perfectly serious.

So am I!  I'm not about to profess love for a man that's forcibly fucking me.  I'm just a little taken aback as you're writing as if you don't live here.

[CaledonianGonzo]

I'm perfectly serious. Mr Kim was a truly great man, and a brave one too, for standing up to the disgusting wretches that perpetrate their despicable capitalist crimes across the globe. The loss of Kim Jong-il, the Dear Leader, is a tragic blow to the only nation left leading the good fight against the forces of darkness and despair. I'm gutted he's gone.

Fidel and Raul Castro leave thread disappointed.

As does, er, this guy:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tr%C6%B0%C6%A1ng_T%E1%BA%A5n_Sang

[Alberon]

I'm going back to South Korea in February. Should be interesting.

Assuming its still there, of course.

So what next for North Korea? As usual with such a very unusual country no one knows. Will there be a period of quiet as the handover happens? Will the new leader want to make some military strike to show his power? Or will the third Kim end up a puppet of the older military leaders?

[biggytitbo]

Here's some North Korean zingers:

- An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a North Korean are having a chat. The Englishman says: "I feel happiest when I'm at home, my wool pants on, sitting in front of the fireplace."
   
The Frenchman, a ladies' man, says: "You English people are so conventional. I feel happiest when I go to a Mediterranean beach with a beautiful blonde-haired woman, and we do what we've got to do on the way back."
   
The North Korean man says: "In the middle of the night, the secret police knock on the door, shouting: Kang Sung-Mee, you're under arrest! And I say, Kang Sung-Mee doesn't live here, but right next door! That's when we're happiest!"

Under the watchful eye of their supervisors, each team gets a mouse, then lets it loose, and the mouse runs up a big mountain.

The winning team is the one that manages to catch and bring back the mouse in the shortest time.
   
The Chinese police employ human wave tactics, combing every square inch on the mountain in their thousands.

They capture and return the mouse after only one day's search.
   
The Japanese policemen use a smell detector, and after only half a day, they detect the mouse hole, search it, catch the mouse and bring it back.
   
The Russian cops send a robot equipped with a heat-seeking device up the mountain.

The robot locates all the mammals on the mountain and after only three hours the Russians capture and bring back the mouse.
   
The only ones left now are the American and North Korean police officers.

The Americans use a satellite signal device to locate the mouse, and then send in a mechanical gadget that looks like a snake gliding up the mountain.
   
The gadget gets into the mouse hole, catches the mouse and brings it back after only one hour.
   
The North Koreans are last.

Although the supervisors are watching, none of them makes a move, there is no brainstorming, and no one comes up with a plan of action, nothing at all.

After only about 10 minutes, a few North Korean police officers show up dragging a dog before the supervisors, saying they've found the mouse.
   
All the supervisors are puzzled: "What are you doing? It is not a dog you were supposed to catch! Weren't you supposed to catch a mouse?"
   
Instead of answering, the North Korean cops drag the dog through the dirt and repeatedly kick it in the ribs.

The sobbing dog suddenly starts to talk: "Stop, stop, please stop! Yes, I confess, I'm a mouse! I'm a mouse, please concede that I'm a mouse, or else they're going to kill me!"

- Two men are talking on a Pyongyang subway train:
   
"How are you, comrade?"
   
"Fine, how are you doing?"
   
"Comrade, by any chance, do you work for the Central Committee of the Workers' Party?"
   
"No, I don't."
   
"Have you worked for the Central Committee before?"
   
"No, I haven't."
   
"Then, are any of your family members working for the Central Committee?"
   
"Nope."
   
"Then, get away from me! You're standing on my foot!"

[Santa's Boyfriend]

Here's a catchy chart topping tune from the Korean People's Army:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1zmNvFnzgM&feature=channel_video_title

Fascinating stuff, structurally etc it sounds an awful lot like a Russian tune.

[Some Herbert]

Will the new leader want to make some military strike to show his power? Or will the third Kim end up a puppet of the older military leaders?

I see you've been eagerly lapping up the lies told by the capitalist media. Why would the Great Successor want to launch a military strike? The DPRK is a peace-loving nation that only responds with military force when its southern neighbour aggresively postures and threatens its superior foe.

[The Boston Crab]

How do you know?

[momatt]

I would love to know if he ever watched Team America.  It would be such a pity if he had died without seeing it.

Or maybe that hillarity is what caused his fatal heart attack?

Makes me think of this:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/5122031/South-Park-creators-given-signed-photo-of-Saddam-Hussein.html

[CaledonianGonzo]

What's your view of the North Korean Famine - the so-called Arduous March - Some Herbert?

[Alberon]

Looks like North Korea launched a short range missile in a 'test' this morning. A very muted response by their standards.