Christmas Drunkards (Whores Tales)

[Big Jack McBastard]

'Whaaay!...hic'. etc...

So, a sound thrashing for the liver is in order éh[nb]I resent having to be French there.[/nb]? Got your whips ready?

Nordic Berry vodka is assaulting my senses this evening, makes Skyrim feel more.. I dunno,... 'present'. I've also a small stockade of other choice vods, cherry picked while at the cash & carry, ready, willing, eager, to be guzzled, they shall meet their awaited destiny in the fullness of time. Also the absinthe may make a comeback before the year is out, I think I could bare it again by now.

As usual the back end of December throws up all manner of foul and amusing tales, in no small part due to getting utterly wankered. If you've any of your own you feel the need to get off your chest/boast about then you may alleviate yourself all over this thread.

Also any tales of hideous injury and/or hilarious antics you've been privy to though not directly involved in.

Don't forget bleak ones either, I don't want to be stealing from the 'Official Bleak Thread' too hard but if it haunts your memory or is particularly Christmas/New Year/Drunk Person-Bleak that would be a treat too.

[wheatgod]

Drink some gin and tonics.

Come home, go on the internet.

Happy days!!!!

[MissInformed]

I wasn't even properly drunk, but on a second date I told a guy "You know your brother? Yeah, he's hot."
He was so busy telling me to shut the fuck up that I don't think he heard me telling him he himself was hotter.

[Big Jack McBastard]

Urgh.

Thanks.

[The Boston Crab]

Went out with my new boss last night, work drinks.

She said 'can you smell fish? what is that?'

Instinctively, I said, 'that's why I moved over here.' (away from her, which I had done only moments earlier)

She took it as an unfunny joke because I effectively left her no choice.

:(

[mook]

moody cow. if some bird's snatch is kicking up, the gentlemanly thing to do is to tell her,  that way she can stick a mint up there or pop to the lavs and have at it with the handwash gel and some bog-roll.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

and in the words of Tiny Tim from the inhibitible Christmas Carol (Scrooge)

GO APESHIT AND SMASH STUFF

[The Boston Crab]

mook, the phrase 'if some bird's snatch is kicking up...' has amused and horrified me for the majority of today. Indeed, it so appalled me that I didn't even want to cement its existence with my acknowledgement.

I've finally come to terms with it.

Good night.

[Big Jack McBastard]

and in the words of Tiny Tim from the inhibitible Christmas Carol (Scrooge)

GO APESHIT AND SMASH STUFF

Now even if you meant 'inimitable' there you'd still be wrong cos you imitate it immediately afterwards. Or rather you don't, but.., oh you know...

[the midnight watch baboon]

I am at work tonight and tomorrow night and am abstaining until midday Xmas day. BAH no BAR.

[Big Jack McBastard]

That's more sad than entertaining though, poor baboon, aww.

Just got in from work myself actually, but am back on the berry vod and don't plan to be off it for a while either.

Is new year more depressing than christmas? There's a lot to be said for both, but I can't help wonder which might draw out one of 'those' stories, you know the ones that contribute to your ever widening mental encyclopedia of 'What not to do in life', it might even get a front page for a while.

[confettiinmyhair]

I've been working the last few days, and was the 'designated driver' for this evening's family get together, but tomorrow I will be getting smashed.