Songs that make you go "Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!".

[Catalogue Trousers]

non capisco wrote:

'Search For The Hero' by M People. Crappy self help lyrics rendered worse by the most repulsive singing voice since the birth of sound.

Agreed. Also not helped by having some of the most self-satisfied saxophone wankery that I've ever heard outside of Englishman In New York (which, paradoxically, is otherwise not a bad song at all).

Edited to add:

Oh, and re Mmm Mmmm Mmmmm Mmmmmm - a song which oddly enough I quite like (sort of happier David Lynch) - the "blurcht all over the church" stuff is in fact "they shook and lurched all over the church floor", a reference to an odd (vaguely Penetcostal-sounding) Christian sect which one of the song's kid's families belonged to. Mystery solved.

[Still Not George]

Fucking M People. That woman's fucking voice. Thank you all so fucking much for ruining my day.

I mean, fuck.

[aaaaaaaaaargh!]

I'll never forget attending a "workshop-stroke-seminar" and hearing the song "Proud" blaring out at us as we sat down. I almost walked out there and then.

Oh lord, I hope for the sake of humanity that the DJ was on a huge irony trip when spinning it.

To be honest, most of Dylan's efforts set my teeth on edge

[Ray Le Otter]

Fucking M People. That woman's fucking voice. Thank you all so fucking much for ruining my day.

I mean, fuck.

Not a fan then?

Actually, you've just reminded me of one the worst bits of the "Perfect Day" chaaaaaarity single with Small on it: "You're gonnnnna reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeapah just whaaaaaaaaat etc"

Second worst bit is the Gabrielle bit.

[Ray Le Otter]

I'll never forget attending a "workshop-stroke-seminar" and hearing the song "Proud" blaring out at us as we sat down. I almost walked out there and then.

Oh lord, I hope for the sake of humanity that the DJ was on a huge irony trip when spinning it.

DJ? Irony? You wish. This was sincerity. The twats who run these things actually think this is motivational. The only thing it motivated in me was my bowel.

[Still Not George]

Gods yes. She sounds like she's vomiting the line.

edit - in reference to her line on Perfect Day Clusterfuck.

[Captain Crunch]

Still rather M People than Placebo any day.

[Catalogue Trousers]

Still Not George wrote:

She sounds like she's vomiting the line.

Right up there with the vomiting Donald Duck vocal by whoever it was on Ride On Time by Black Box. Ye gods I hate that song.

[Still Not George]

Really? Molko annoys you more than the woman who manages the almost impossible feat of having a voice even more irritating than her hair?

[Morrisfan82]

Right up there with the vomiting Donald Duck vocal by whoever it was on Ride On Time by Black Box.

This?

[Captain Crunch]

Really? Molko annoys you more than the woman who manages the almost impossible feat of having a voice even more irritating than her hair?

Yes.

I'm not denying her voice is like aural scabies but at least it comes without the connotations of "oh get me, I wore black nail varnish in New Cross and you should have seen the looks I was getting" and that smug whey face.  Shortarse little cock I hope something mildly unpleasant happens to him, several times.

[Still Not George]

Meh. I quite liked the first album. Don't know what the fuck he's whingeing about nowadays, though.

[trotsky assortment]

I liked the first album too.  The album version of 'Nancy Boy' is really flat compared to the original single though.

[Captain Crunch]

I'd give him something to fucking whinge about the little twat.  Tsk, I'm all riled now, what fucking idiot brought them up?

[trotsky assortment]

Save your anger for that talentless little fuckbag from My Chemical Romance, Captain.  Go on, you know you want to.

[Pseudopath]

Right up there with the vomiting Donald Duck vocal by whoever it was on Ride On Time by Black Box. Ye gods I hate that song.

I hate that song for knocking Jive Bunny's Swing The Mood off the top spot in my first week at secondary school. To be fair, I was only 11 at the time and I fucking loved Jive Bunny.

Still, fast forward five years and what question came up at my school leaving-do? That's right..."What song was number 1 during our first week at secondary school?". I won me a big Toblerone! Woo-hoo! Good old Jive Bunny!

[Beep Cleep Chimney]

'Independent Love Song' by Scarlett

(You know the one. Mid-90's power ballad and gash of the highest order).

[aaaaaaaaaargh!]

'Independent Love Song' by Scarlett

(You know the one. Mid-90's power ballad and gash of the highest order).

Jesus fuck, I'd completely blacked that one out of my memory.

Oh, by the way, you can add the Placebo cover of "Running up that hill" on to the list of things that are way worse than death.

[Still Not George]

'Independent Love Song' by Scarlett

(You know the one. Mid-90's power ballad and gash of the highest order).

Bintage that sounded like she'd just gargled about 15 litres of listerine before singing? Watery face?

"I'm doin it a diffrunt wayyyee,

Hoooooh Eyeeeeeee gatta show ya hoooow ta saaaayve me, ooooh oh oooooh oh hooooooh eyyyyyeeeeee gotta show ya how ta love me, wha dooooonchya wha dooooooonchya...."

Because you're a howling fucking freak is why.

Great thread, whores - very cathartic.

[non capisco]

Blonde European girl in the Whigfield mould but not Whigfield, had one hit which was probably pretty bad but my memory has for now discarded, had a truly evil follow-up that stiffed but is sadly still squatting in the crevices of my brain ready to strike in the wee hours....

..."it's a girl's night out, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la!"

Any takers?

And I agree with the Captain about B. Molko. "A friend in need's a friend indeed/A friend with weed is better" sung in a "yes, I said weed, kids" voice. Ugh.

[quadraspazzed]

And I agree with the Captain about B. Molko. "A friend in need's a friend indeed/A friend with weed is better" sung in a "yes, I said weed, kids" voice. Ugh.

I used to live with a bloke (no, not like that) who adored Placebo. I used to annoy him by saying their name as Placy-boh (does that come from the Simpsons or something?).

I never really had anything against Palcebo before then (mind you I'd only heard about three songs), but now, yeah they're on my "Arrrrrgggghhh not this shit" list.

Mention of Europop has remindeed me of the fucking Macarena song by those two old blokes. What was that, Summer of '95 or thereabouts. Every bloke in my town would use the "So what do the words to Macarena mean" on the annual influx of female Spanish students. Except me of course. I swear! Oh right then, once.

[Marty McFly]

yeah, I've always thought Placebo are one of the most overrated bands ever.

this is slightly off-topic, but I really hate it when you hear a song that was later made (more) popular via sampling, and nobody but you knows the original. See "Under Pressure/Ice Ice Baby" et al.

[Pseudopath]

Blonde European girl in the Whigfield mould but not Whigfield, had one hit which was probably pretty bad but my memory has for now discarded, had a truly evil follow-up that stiffed but is sadly still squatting in the crevices of my brain ready to strike in the wee hours....

..."it's a girl's night out, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la!"

Any takers?

Shiver...the culprit was called Alda and here is her MySpace page.

It looks like the first song she released was called 'Real Good Time' (why the fuck have I still got that MySpace page open in the background? This song's fucking awful)

EDIT: She sure has a bizarre set of influences though. Randy Crawford, Moloko, Peter Sellers, Stephen Fry, John Cleese.....and Mr Bean?

I reckon she only put Sellers, Fry and Cleese in there because she knew we'd be visiting. The insecure cow.

[The Mumbler]

Blonde European girl in the Whigfield mould but not Whigfield, had one hit which was probably pretty bad but my memory has for now discarded, had a truly evil follow-up that stiffed but is sadly still squatting in the crevices of my brain ready to strike in the wee hours....

..."it's a girl's night out, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la!"

Any takers?

And I agree with the Captain about B. Molko. "A friend in need's a friend indeed/A friend with weed is better" sung in a "yes, I said weed, kids" voice. Ugh.

I'd forgotten all about Placebo. A former work colleague was a student at Goldsmiths at the same time as Molko. It didn't take long for the word "wanker" to enter that conversation.

Girls Night Out was by Icelandic songstress Alda. #20 at Christmas 1998 and the follow up to the #7 "smash", Real Good Time. (Mr Guinness helpd.)

Scarlet were of course the Bobby's equivalent of T'Pau. And T'Pau were the Bobby's equivalent of Heart.

[rupert pupkin]

Anything involving Linkin Park â€" "Oooh, look at me in my big shorts, shouting about being pissed off about stuff, why won't those cool black kids come and be my friend?" Hateful, talentless shite.

[chand]

I liked Placebo, in spite of Brian Molko. The scary part was finding out that there are teenagers who think his lyrics are deeply profound.

[aaaaaaaaaargh!]

"Me and you baby ain't nothing but mammals so lets do it like they do on the Discovery Channel".

*shudder*

[trotsky assortment]

I wouldn't shudder at that, if I were you, aaaaaaaaaargh!
I'd be more concerned by this, from the pen of the same idiots:

She’s like an oriental rug cause I lay her where I please
Then I blindfold her with dental floss and get down on my knees
I’m a diving Kamikaze eating out Chinese
Chinky chinky bang bang I love you
Sing chinky sing

[aaaaaaaaaargh!]

Well, if your aim was to make my jaw hit the floor, then you have succeeded.  That is incredible.

[trotsky assortment]

You can't make shit like that up.  When the band got a record deal with Geffen and got their independently released album reissued, Geffen demanded this offensive piece of junk be removed.  And rightly so.