WONKA

[The Bumlord]

Crikey. Everyone loves Hugh Grant in a jar.

The Guardian - 5/5
The Telegraph - 5/5
Evening Standard- 5/5
The Mirror - 5/5
RTE - 4.5/5
Empire - 4/5
The Independent - 4/5
iNews - 4/5
NME - 4/5
Total Film - 4/5
BBC - 3/5
Digital Spy - 3/5
IGN - 7/10
IndieWire - B+

[madhair60]

no credible critics there

[The Bumlord]

Are there any?

[Red82]

Most Roald Dahl adaptations are shit. I think The Witches is the only film I've ever liked.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

Wonking thread.

[Noodle Lizard]

The fact that it's co-written by Simon Farnaby and seems to have enlisted half the supporting cast of Peep Show, I'm cautiously optimistic. Songs by Neil Hannon and score by yer man who did The League of Gentlemen too. If Simon Munnery pops up, it'll be as if they're targeting the elusive bald phimotic demographic.

[Blumf]

Most Roald Dahl adaptations are shit. I think The Witches is the only film I've ever liked.

Mike Leigh's The Twits

[phantom_power]

It's the team behind the Paddington films, which are far better than they need to be or anyone expected them to be so I have vaguely high hopes for this

[Old Nehamkin]

Oh no this is going to be one of those "Actually Good" films isn't it.

[non capisco]

[SteveDave]

As much as I am baffled by the popularity of Timmy Mallet (the new name for Timotheee Chamolet) I do want to see this.

[sevendaughters]

a backstory for an enigmatic genius, even worse a twee Brexit soft humour one, sounds absolutely shit and visually looks completely sickening.

[phantom_power]

Brexit?

[Bad Ambassador]

Given the first Paddington film makes very explicit the subtext about immigrants finding their true homes in London, it seems unlikely.

[sevendaughters]

Given the first Paddington film makes very explicit the subtext about immigrants finding their true homes in London, it seems unlikely.

not really a subtext is it then

I meant more 'Brexit Britain' than 'about Brexit' but whatever

[Blumf]

What is the point of this film? Seems to be another stab at an origin story for Wonka, after the Burton/Depp one unsurprisingly failed. But does anyone care about Willy Wonka's back story? He's a chocolate making psychopath, that's fine, that's all we need. Don't care about his mum or dad.

[Butchers Blind]

Many a night I've been kept awake at night thinking, how did Willy Wonka get that chocolate factory and how did he get those orange dwarfs working for him. Thank god for this film I will now sleep easy.

[sevendaughters]

psychopathic chocolatier and slaver

[Fambo Number Mive]

Make a film of Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator instead.

Maybe next we're going to get the Netflix drama "Joe" about Grampa Joe's origin story and then "Beauregarde".

[Emotional Support Peacock]

Coming to a cinema near you, February 2026: SLUGWORTH


Willy Wonka Inc is a huge multinational, unethical and horrible in the way that Nestlé is purported to be, but much more so, under the control of CEO and sole shareholder Sir Charles Bucket. Despite the business's reliance on slavery and causing endless environmental, social and ethical disasters, the multi billionaire Sir Charles is able to rely on his squeaky clean image and inspiring journey through life to maintain a place in the hearts of the public while living in untold luxury.

Despite being bankrupted and effectively put into exile, Arthur Slugworth writes his response to the piece of fascist propaganda that is Roald Dahl's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, a piece commissioned by Bucket to paint a positive picture of his rise to wealth and power, and gloss over the mysterious disappearances of children within the factory walls.

[Famous Mortimer]

What is the point of this film? Seems to be another stab at an origin story for Wonka, after the Burton/Depp one unsurprisingly failed. But does anyone care about Willy Wonka's back story? He's a chocolate making psychopath, that's fine, that's all we need. Don't care about his mum or dad.

With almost no exceptions, prequels are rubbish.

[phantom_power]

With almost no exceptions, prequels are rubbish.

Godfather 2
Temple of Doom
Muppet Babies

[Emotional Support Peacock]

Godfather 2
Temple of Doom
Muppet Babies

Huge LOL at Muppet Babies.

[SteveDave]

They could do "Charlie Bucket And The Chocolate Factory" with the now old Charlie (played by Bill Nighy) doing the whole golden ticket thing again.

Think of all the different kind of kids they could have! Mike Yewt'yuub! It writes itself.

[Fambo Number Mive]

How about a film focusing on the three other grandparents and the time they had a bit more space in the bed due to Grandpa Joe being at the chocolate factory with Charlie.

[The Mollusk]

I think The Witches is the only film I've ever liked.

Man that's some niche taste

[Ignatius_S]

Crikey. Everyone loves Hugh Grant in a jar.

The Guardian - 5/5
The Telegraph - 5/5
Evening Standard- 5/5
The Mirror - 5/5
RTE - 4.5/5
Empire - 4/5
The Independent - 4/5
iNews - 4/5
NME - 4/5
Total Film - 4/5
BBC - 3/5
Digital Spy - 3/5
IGN - 7/10
IndieWire - B+

The Times gave it 2/5 - the reviewer did single out Grant for praise.

[Ignatius_S]

What is the point of this film? Seems to be another stab at an origin story for Wonka, after the Burton/Depp one unsurprisingly failed. But does anyone care about Willy Wonka's back story? He's a chocolate making psychopath, that's fine, that's all we need. Don't care about his mum or dad.

Netflix paid a lot of money for the Roald Dahl Story Company and owns the rights to all his works. The point will be similar to all the other stuff coming out - getting a return on investment.

Look out for a live experience coming to you soon!

[Butchers Blind]

How about a film centered around Grandpa Joe being a malingering, lying old cunt.

[Ignatius_S]

Godfather 2
Temple of Doom
Muppet Babies

First was part-sequel, part-prequel but is a really good example.

Though Pearl was the best one I've seen for a while.

Although it's open to interpretation - but I do lean towards it being so - The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.