Steven Seagal

[DoesNotFollow]

When the mood takes us me and my partner actively seek out the silly '90s action "romps" as we call them and we've got a lot of time for Van-Damme.

As well as Executive Decision which is not really a "Steven Seagal film", we've seen Under Siege and Under Siege 2: This Time it's on a Train and they passed the time. Seagal is such a drag though that if we were to find ourselves watching another film of his it would pretty much be in spite of his appearance in it, as opposed to someone like Van Damme who we actively enjoy watching for his occasional wry quirkiness, unusual accent and bum-kicking antics.

[dissolute ocelot]

Under Siege 2 is watchable enough too, and I've not seen all of On Dangerous Ground, but it does what you'd expect. Some of his early films are OK but can't remember which ones - he definitely had a formula for naming his films where every title can be preceded by the words "Steven Seagal is..." but that makes it impossible to remember which is which*. You'd think he'd only be hired if Arnie, Sly, JCVD, Dolph Lundgren, Estelle Getty, the dog from Turner and Hooch, and everybody else from an 80s action movie wasn't available, but I'm sure he was a reasonably big star/brand and people would actually go see a Steven Seagal film purely because Seagal was in it. You knew what you were getting. Violence and nothing but. It's the pony tail, he was maybe an attainable role-model for 80s/90s mall ninjas who knew they could never be Arnie but with enough hair product they just might be Stevie.

*Obviously the fact that "Steven Seagal is Executive Decision" makes no sense proves it's not a real Seagal movie.

[monkfromhavana]

*Obviously the fact that "Steven Seagal is Executive Decision" makes no sense proves it's not a real Seagal movie.

Unless his character was called 'Brad Executive-Decision'.

[AliasTheCat]

However, Seagal's best acting was preserved forever.

It is from a video presentation for a sommelier from a restaurant in Hollywood who wanted to start his own business and persuaded a few celebrities to be his partners and be part of a video to show to prospective investors.

Wow. That really is quite extraordinary.

[JesusAndYourBush]

His films seem to be designed to get you from one action scene to the next in as quick a way as possible.  So as a result the films lack any depth.  And sometimes even the action scenes seem rushed which makes it unsatisfying when the big action scene at the end of the film is over far too quickly.

[Keebleman]

Wow. That really is quite extraordinary.

Do you think at the end the intention was to use the old Bogart-Bacall line, "You just put your lips together, and blow," but they noticed that as the single sip of wine had gone right to Stevie's head and he was about to puke they had to cut it short?

[Mr Trumpet]

Can't wait to watch that, me and a mate gobble up every bit of Seagal lore we can find. We got tickets to see him diddle his guitar once but he cancelled :(

[AliasTheCat]

Do you think at the end the intention was to use the old Bogart-Bacall line, "You just put your lips together, and blow," but they noticed that as the single sip of wine had gone right to Stevie's head and he was about to puke they had to cut it short?

Haha, I genuinely think that was in the script but Seagal thought it would make him appear weak, like of course he knows how to whistle. And that is why he is a better actor and man than that cuck Humphrey Bogart.

[dissolute ocelot]

Haha, I genuinely think that was in the script but Seagal thought it would make him appear weak, like of course he knows how to whistle. And that is why he is a better actor and man than that cuck Humphrey Bogart.

James Bond claimed that homosexuals can't whistle, so obviously Seagal is whistling 24/7.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I didn't realise Pam Grier played his cop-partner in Above the Law. I'm full of cold right now and need some schlock so might stick it on to see her outclass him in every conceivable way.

She's certainly the better musician.