Vasopresident Clinton

[Partridge's Love Child]

The autobiography of former US President Bill "Castella" Clinton is set to hit the shops next week.  Simply called My Life, a title he may well have gleaned from Lord Morgan of Glossop, the book is currently being promoted by its author on various chat shows stateside, where the obvious subject of discussion is being candidly answered by Arkansa's most famous lying soggy cigar smoker.

Clinton's two terms as the most powerful man in world will be forever remembered not his capabilities as a leader and world statesman, but for the fact that he spoffed all over an intern's dress and then lied about it under oath.  His smiling personable demeanour may have saved him from being further criticised by the electorate, but in an interview last night, Clinton has suggested that waggling his willy towards Monica Lewinsky was unforgiveable.

An Ananova writer[/url]"]In a TV interview to coincide with the release of his autobiography, My Life, Clinton called the affair with the buxom intern "a terrible moral error" and sought to explain how his family handled the crisis.

He told veteran CBS reporter Dan Rather: "I did something for the worst possible reason. Just because I could. I think that's just about the most morally indefensible reason anybody could have for doing anything."

However, Bill must be kicking himself this morning that he did not hold back the publishing of the book and therefore its promotion for a few more months, as it has arisen that he could have blamed his Lewinsky-flavoured cheroot shennanigans upon his natural chemical proclivity to behave like a vole.

Boffins, perhaps with large forheads like Professor Farnsworth in Futurama or those fellas in them Tefal ads from the mid-1980s, have discovered that men with straying eyes in others thighs may behave in such a way due to the levels of a gene called vasopressin released when they jizz off.  Experiments on two types of voles - the prairie vole and the meadow vole - have revealed that the former have greater vasopressin receptors than the latter, and therefore may encourage prairie voles to remain failhful to one mate, rather than thinking that any vole's a goal.

A boffin reporter at Ananova[/url]"]Scientists say they have found how to change promiscuous wayward males into attentive home-loving husbands.

Nature magazine reports that the breakthrough has been achieved with voles but has implications for humans.

By altering one gen in the brain hormone chemistry, scientists made a promiscuous meadow vole faithful - just like its prairie vole cousin.

After mating, male prairie voles "fall in love", choosing to stick close to their chosen one, guard her jealously and help her raise their young.

Closely related meadow voles, on the other hand, mate with several females and pay little attention to their babies.

A hormone called vasopressin encourages pair-bonding in prairie voles. Scientists noticed that meadow voles have fewer vasopressin receptors and decided to try giving them more.

The results were remarkable. The meadow voles changed their ways and suddenly fixed on one female, choosing to mate with only her - even when other females tried to tempt them.

"We think what happens is when the voles mate, vasopressin activates the reward centre, and it really makes the animals pay attention to who they are mating with," co-author Larry Young, from Emory University, Georgia, told BBC News Online.

"It makes the voles think: "when I'm with this partner I feel good". And from then on, they want to spend their time with that particular partner."

[...]

"We know that vasopressin is released when humans have sex," said Professor Young. "Sex is probably involved in maintaining the bond between humans and vasopressin may play a role in that."

Vole is an anagram of love.  Just think on.

[Pinball]

Great writing style PLC!

former US President Bill "Castella" Clinton

:-)

All those nights "alone" (i.e. without totty) in the White House clearly took its toll on Bill. He intellectualised his fidelity as maintained by considering fellatio as outside the bounds of "sex", as in "I did not have sex with that woman". I actually bought the 4-hour VHS tape of Bill's Grand Jury testimony from Amazon.com, so have explored the logical conundrum presented by Bill in some detail.

So, is oral sex sex, or not?? If you went to see a prostitute for a blowjob, would you feel you had been unfaithful to your better half, or not? Hmmm....

[Partridge's Love Child]

Funnily enough, I remember reading an interview with Emma Thompson when her and Kenneth Branagh were still together.  It was shortly after Hugh Grant had paid Divine Brown for a nosh on Sunset Boulevard, and Thompson said that if Kenny been away from home for a while and had done the same, she would've seen it "as a perfectly reasonable thing to do".  Less intimate than kissing an all that, though that's more of a Gere/Roberts on Sunset Boulevard line of thought isn't it.

Is oral sex less of an infidelity than full penetration?  I can't see that it makes a vas deferens.

[Paul Calf's Bastard Son]

It was shortly after Hugh Grant had paid Divine Brown for a nosh on Sunset Boulevard.

He paid her to make dinner then?  That's odd, I thought he got her to suck his cock.

[glitch]

Weird. I know about vasopressin (or diapid) for an entirely different reason:

Vasopressin is a brain hormone that is released by the pituary gland. It improves attention, concentration, memory retention and recall (both short-term and long-term). Vasopressin faciltates more effective learning by helping to "imprint" new information in the memory centres of the brain, a function which cannot be achieved without the action of vasopressin...

...Alcohol and marijuana, however, inhibit the release of vasopressin. A whiff of vasopressin when using these drugs will compensate for much of the dopiness caused by them.

Although I've yet to try it.

[Johnny Yesno]

any vole's a goal.

Hyuk! Hyuk!  

It was shortly after Hugh Grant had paid Divine Brown for a nosh on Sunset Boulevard

I initially read that as Bourneville Boulevard and was momentarily impressed by the detail of your insider gossip.

[Partridge's Love Child]

To be fair, Divine Brown sounds like an expression for anal sex, as in the phrase "how about a bit of The Divine Brown".

Scraping the barrell with 6 replies.  Normal service is resumed.

Paul Calf's Bastard Son

I appear to have a doppelganger.  Will it be like David and Michael Knight in Knight Rider?  I hope there's not some sort of ramming vehicles to the death, I've only got a pushbike.

[Mediocre Rich]

Is oral sex less of an infidelity than full penetration?  I can't see that it makes a vas deferens.

I would say that it is less a betrayal from the mans point of view as it can be seen as an elobarate wank (interestingly there is no biological difference between the inside of womans mouth and a mans).

However (and this is where those lovely male double standards come in) it would be more of a leap for the woman to commit the act, and quite rightly grounds for divorce.

[Ambient Sheep]

It was shortly after Hugh Grant had paid Divine Brown for a nosh on Sunset Boulevard...

...although if you believe the conspiracy theories, Divine Brown wasn't the one doing the noshing; she was merely hurriedly recruited from the nearest street by Grant's PR and was encouraged to say that it was her, in order to conceal the (non-famous) identity of the real nosher.