Living by one's self

[Bonely Child]

Just recently, I have acquired myself a flat. The flat itself is absolutely lovely - this is the first time, aside from uni, I've lived away from home - and the area I'm in is ok too. Over the next couple of weeks, a friend of mine is going to be moving in, and I'm sure we shall have many great japes together. At the moment, however, I'm there on my own.

And I absolutely hate it. It's horrible. Being an only child, and someone who's generally quite happy with his own company, I never imagined this would be a problem. But actually being in an empty flat, by myself... gah, I hate it! I suppose not having a phoneline or internet access yet doesn't help, but I find myself constantly on my mobile, or asking people round, or going out. As soon as I'm faced with a few hours when I know I'll be by myself, my stomach just sinks. I can't eat properly, I mooch about, watch crap telly I'd never normally watch, and... Christ, even look forward to going to work so I can see other people.

This isn't right, surely? I though living by yourself was supposed to be great? After all, it means you never have to shut the bathroom door, and can wander around in your pants all day. Provided you don't go out, obviously. So what other whores live by themselves, or have done in the past? Am I missing something here, or is this the hidden reality of single living?I need to find a way to fill the vaccuum of the next couple of weeks, until once again I have someone to slouch next to on the sofa.

[Martian Martian]

Can you rent pets? Try rent-a-pet.com.

Seriously, for the next few weeks, leave your shoelaces with a neighbour.

Why not get some books that you've always been meaning to read, and use this fortnight to get them out of the way? At least it won't be time wasted in front of the box.

[hencole]

Totally agree. I bought a maisonnette last month and its horrible coming home from work to an empty place with know one to talk to about what a great/shit day I've just had, no one there to join in my ridicule of television programmes, no one to help finish off a bottle of milk before it goes sour. I'm looking for a lodger at the moment as paying the mortgage is difficult on my own, not to mention the fact that I go out all the time through bordem so my expenses are pretty high. I can't even get my broadband to work at present, so I've taken to going out jogging late at night just for something to do.

Talk radio stations are good though as you can pretend you've got people round to talk about the issues of the day.

[zozman]

I lived on my own for a bit - pros and cons really.  It can be a bit boring, but you can watch porn at all hours of the day.  Despite that, I did find myself going ever so slightly mad at times, talking to myself and all that.

I'm better now I've got Mrs Zozman of course.

[Morrisfan82]

This is where Verbwhore Friend Finder can help - simply publish your address in this thread and hey presto! - the nearest Verbwhore to your locality will pop round for a cuppa and a chat.

Disclaimer: CaB accepts no responsibility for forcible loss of bum cherry as a result of subsequently allowing "internet strangers" into your home.

[Purple Tentacle]

You make me laugh, Muteki.


I live with my girlfriend in a flat, and I'm constantly yearning for a week to myself, a week of sitting around in pants, Indiana Jones, that special folder hidden on my computer, smoking myself silly and being scared of the phone, Babylon 5, Super Mario, sleeping on the sofa, really pungeant Indian takeaway, being able to watch the fucking News instead of bastard Hollyoaks or some such shit,  staying out late with all night being a possibility, and all the glorious perks of being single and in a house by yourself.

The grass is always greener etc., enjoy whatever situation you're in because if there's one constant in life it's that you're never satisfied.

[Krang]

I wish i lived on my own... On the other hand, i live with my dear mother, who takes great care of me, cooks my dinner, buys food, washes my clothes and keeps the house tidy. Its easier on the wallet to live at home, especially as im a "student"

Driving test soon, a bit of independance.

[butnut]

...and being scared of the phone,

That's right! I don't technically live alone, but my flatmate's out a huge amount of the time, so I often get a week to myself. And sometimes I don't answer the phone - because it's either someone trying to sell me something, one of those weird silent calls, or someone I don't want to talk to.

At the moment, there's also no-one in the flat below, so I can happily watch Monty Python very loudly at 2am and stomp around as much as I like.

[Purple Tentacle]

...and being scared of the phone,

That's right! I don't technically live alone, but my flatmate's out a huge amount of the time, so I often get a week to myself.

Hehe, I was thinking more that because I'm a very very bad dope smoker (ie: I hardly do it and so make a tit of myself when I do) I always get paranoid and petrified of the phone ringing just in case it's my mum or something. I sat trembling in fear just looking at it once, knowing it would shout at me in its shrill ringy voice.

[DonkeyRods]

I had to find a flat before Xmas, and found one, but would be moving in by myself. I really regret not waiting just a little longer to find a house/flat share, totally agree with everything you said hencole. Except the jogging, I just catatonically gaze out the window.

It has got another double room so I can try and get a flatmate, but its not that big and knowing my luck I'll end up with a bad mentallist. Various other things about the flat are getting to me too (I think the guy above me is dead), but I'm in a 6 month contract so I cant just find somewhere else.

I'm not planning on staying here long though, fingers crossed I'll be out by summer.

[butnut]

Hehe, I was thinking more that because I'm a very very bad dope smoker (ie: I hardly do it and so make a tit of myself when I do) I always get paranoid and petrified of the phone ringing just in case it's my mum or something. I sat trembling in fear just looking at it once, knowing it would shout at me in its shrill ringy voice.

Either way - phones are pretty scary things sometimes. As much as I hate mobiles, at least you can see who is calling. Actually, I should get one of those landlines that does that. Then I'd know... Then I'd be safe...

[Borboski]

You make me laugh, Muteki.


I live with my girlfriend in a flat, and I'm constantly yearning for a week to myself, a week of sitting around in pants, Indiana Jones, that special folder hidden on my computer, smoking myself silly and being scared of the phone, Babylon 5, Super Mario, sleeping on the sofa, really pungeant Indian takeaway, being able to watch the fucking News instead of bastard Hollyoaks or some such shit,  staying out late with all night being a possibility, and all the glorious perks of being single and in a house by yourself.

The grass is always greener etc., enjoy whatever situation you're in because if there's one constant in life it's that you're never satisfied.

Amen to that. Mrs Borboski was on a teaching residential last friday. I, happily, had three bottles of wine, a dirty curry, and was smoking on a chair out of window in the drunken belief she wouldn't smell it.

Happy days.

[hoverdonkey]

You make me laugh, Muteki.


I live with my girlfriend in a flat, and I'm constantly yearning for a week to myself, a week of sitting around in pants, Indiana Jones, that special folder hidden on my computer, smoking myself silly and being scared of the phone, Babylon 5, Super Mario, sleeping on the sofa, really pungeant Indian takeaway, being able to watch the fucking News instead of bastard Hollyoaks or some such shit,  staying out late with all night being a possibility, and all the glorious perks of being single and in a house by yourself.

The grass is always greener etc., enjoy whatever situation you're in because if there's one constant in life it's that you're never satisfied.

Not strictly true. Don't wanna be all smug, but that's how this is gonna come across. My shift work, which means I don't have to drive during rush-hour, and Ms Donkey's occasional work trips away, means we have plenty of time apart from each other which helps keep it fresh and exciting.

I couldn't cope with us both doing 9-5's and getting home at the same time etc. That would do my head in. This way, if I am on a run of lates, I leave for work at 2pm, giving me plenty of time to do other stuff I want/need to and giving Ms Donkey the evening to watch the stuff she wants to.

With regards to living alone, I too was an only child for the first 10 years of my life and so enjoy my own company (yeah yeah) and very rarely get bored. Too much to do. However if I lived on my own for any length of time I'm sure I'd slip into madness.

Again, apologies for any smug tendencies here, but I'm just dead happy at the moment. And that isn't said on here very often. I also keep saying it to myself because I believe that as soon as you stop appreciating something and take it for granted - whether that be your job, girlfriend or whatever - it all gets taken away from you.

[Marcus Or Relius]

I've lived on my own for almost four-years now and I'm perfectly happy with it. It's certainly not for everyone, obviously, and I can understand how some may hate it, but it's fine for me. If I want a chat I can phone someone up or lurk around here, and if I want to see someone I'll go out with some mates for a drink or whatever. However, my little flat is always there, a blissful retreat of utter solitude where I can - and, indeed, have done so - go days without going outside or ever seeing another human being.

Having said that, I'm fucking terrified of still being alone in 10-years time! I would like to find a female desperate enough to spend her life with me, but not just yet.

[didgeripoo]

I've lived alone for 9 months now. It hasn't been too bad actually. At first it was horrendous, but that was just because I'd just been through a bad break -up. I do tend to miss being able to shout at the telly with other people...it ain't the same on your own. Hence it looks like I'm going to move into a flat with a mate soon.

I'd say that living alone for a bit is a good thing, especially if you're trying to get over a lady/man disaster. It's helped me get my head together, to the point where I'm now COMPLETELY SANE.

[Purple Tentacle]

I've lived alone for 9 months now. It hasn't been too bad actually.

You are Almost Yearly's baby, and ICM£5

[terrorist]

I loved living alone you can just run around talking to yourself like you're in a never ending intro scene to Ferris Bueller's Day Off (or however you spell it).

[Hairy Chin]

I was house (and pet)-sitting for my friend until the end of last week. She went out to Dubai to work; and luckily for me she paid for the phone, gas, leccy - the lot. While she was out there, she put the house on the market and sold her car.

But most of the time I was there on my own, as I only work two days a week.  Well, there was a cat, dog and a goldfish for company...and most of the time I was shouting at the dog for misbehaving.

I didn't mind being on my own, as I could practice my Futurama "TALES OF INTEREST!" voice as loudly and as often as I liked, nobody interrupted me when I was doing audio production on my laptop. But now I'm back home because the house was sold when I was there, and my mate's come back to take the pets out to Dubai.

But because I enjoyed that independence, I want a bit more. I'm now looking to move out, and I may be moving in with three or four girls - I only know one of them, she's in work with me and she's pretty cool - as long as her friends aren't a bunch of oddballs I should enjoy living in their company.

A few good things i did get out of house-sitting is that she bought me back a carton of duty freesmokes and a bottle of JD; and she's said I can have her old computer desk and one of the beds for free! So that's less things for me to worry about buying when (although the rate they're going, it's more a case of 'IF') I move out. I'm going to rent a big van and go and get the bed and desk this week. Also this week I've got to try and see this house I'm meant to be moving in to. I'm just going on the strength of what this lass at work has told me about it, which in turn has come from her mate who likes the house, but it should be okay because she's a very picky person.

Actually the more I think and talk about this, the less and less likely my move seems.

[Cerys]

I lived on my own in this flat for about a year, and I loved it.  Largely because (a) I'd been sharing various places for about seven years, and was way overdue for a bit of peace; and (b) I got a cat practically as soon as I moved in.  Plus my living room is huge (in comparison with the living rooms of most of my friends), so I was never short of guests when I wanted them.  Then some long-haired weirdo moved in and insisted on making demands upon my person, but that's another story....

[Manford Thirty-Sixborough]

When you live by yourself, you can wake up at 5 in the morning and piss about on the Internet until you get back to sleep.

[wasp_f15ting]

I've been at my own place for 2 years now :| and its the 1st time I lived on my own too.. At first not having human contact for ages made me proper anxious and scared. So like you many a friend came and we gamed together and all that. But slowly you get into a rythm, you place things where you want them to be. You fill it up with your goods and it kind of resembles vaguely what you expected living alone would be like... The 1st 6 months of living alone yielded many parties / clubbing and general wasting of money that my folks had left for my sustinance, when that ran out I got my act together got a job etc and began to enjoy wasp-time.. reading, writing, monging, downloading and ocasional parties..

That is the rythm I have stepped into for the time being. The worst thing for me moving out is the smell of the new place, it never smells like my old habitat for ages. Took me a few months to climatize. This is why sleeping away from home in some ladies house feels well weird to me. My nose is extra keen to investigate pungency when in another person's house :p All in all living alone gives you so much free time (if you have it) to pursue reading, loud music (if youre not in terraced a place) and best of all your own routine of doing things.

[Bonely Child]

Hmmm, judging by the above it seems living alone is generally a mixed bag then. I must admit, I really wish I could get a pet (a proper pet I mean, like a cat or a dog, not one of those rubbish little hairy potatoes with legs), but unfortunately my working hours - and possibly also my lease - prevent it. Bah. Books are always good though, it seems it's possible to lose yourself in a book much more than in a film, or even music. Now I only need to learn how to get more than 4 hours' sleep a night.

Which reminds me...

When you live by yourself, you can wake up at 5 in the morning and piss about on the Internet until you get back to sleep.

Not when you have to be up at 6 you can't. Git.

[butnut]

But because I enjoyed that independence, I want a bit more. I'm now looking to move out, and I may be moving in with three or four girls - I only know one of them, she's in work with me and she's pretty cool - as long as her friends aren't a bunch of oddballs I should enjoy living in their company.

A few good things i did get out of house-sitting is that she bought me back a carton of duty freesmokes and a bottle of JD; and she's said I can have her old computer desk and one of the beds for free! So that's less things for me to worry about buying when (although the rate they're going, it's more a case of 'IF') I move out. I'm going to rent a big van and go and get the bed and desk this week. Also this week I've got to try and see this house I'm meant to be moving in to. I'm just going on the strength of what this lass at work has told me about it, which in turn has come from her mate who likes the house, but it should be okay because she's a very picky person.

Actually the more I think and talk about this, the less and less likely my move seems.

Don't do it! Living with 3 or 4 girls is a completely insane thing to do. A friend of mine did it for 3 years and he was almost driven mad by it. <Warning - sterotypes coming up> Girls are strange creatures, and when they live together they become even weirder. They will be constantly falling out with one another, and ganging up on one, who next week will suddenly be their best friend, whilst the former best friend will now not being spoken too, and during the whole of this, you will be expected to agree with everything, and realise that x is a real bitch one week, but now she's great - and to do this without actually being told. You must just KNOW.

[Hairy Chin]

Bollocks.

I was hoping to maybe catch a glimpse of an occassional boob of an odd morning. But also I can't afford to get my own place. Having said that, the amount of time this lot are taking getting their arses in gear and actually getting the house, some other fucker will have most likely got it.

I shall take your words into consideration. It will be wighed up thusly:

having clothes ironed by mum, money and internet warning
                                  VS
desperation to move out and have independence, the vague chance of glimpsing one of their boobs in the morning at some point, having to wash, dry and iron my own clothes again and having to do housey things and housework.

Gah, it's complicated - even if the girls will be out most of the time working, and I'l be on my own in the week where I won't be bothered by folk. I'll have to do a lot of thinking with this one.

[Manford Thirty-Sixborough]

When you live by yourself, you can wake up at 5 in the morning and piss about on the Internet until you get back to sleep.

Not when you have to be up at 6 you can't. Git.

In my defense, I'm a student who has a fairly light timetable, so I spend my evenings and weekends doing two jobs to support myself; as a result, I find myself in the enviable position of looking forward to Monday mornings, when I can have a lie-in.

The flip side of this is the other benefit of living on your own - you don't have to tiptoe round if you get in from work at half eleven of an evening,and want to have a beer and watch TV, nor is there anyone to get in a strop with you for waking them up by having a shower before work at 6 in the morning on a weekend - as if you're actually doing it by choice, and wouldn't rather still be tucked up in bed like them.

[morgs]

I've lived on my own for almost four-years now and I'm perfectly happy with it. .... blah blah blah blah blah.....Having said that, I'm fucking terrified of still being alone in 10-years time! I would like to find a female desperate enough to spend her life with me, but not just yet.

Total agreement Marcus.  Almost 5 years for me and no problems as I have fairly busy socal life and plenty of work (honestly, teachers do work outside school)... but I would like to move house AND find partner this year. No pressure there then.

[butnut]

That's one giant BUMP for mankind...

Hmm, it is looking very likely that in the next 2 months I'll end up living alone, seeing as my silly flatmate has gone and proposed to his girlfriend. Either I stay where I am and pay double the rent (yeah, that's going to happen) or more likely I've got to move.  And seeing that many of my so-called friends have sold their souls to Satan and moved in with a woman or have sorted themselves out by themselves, I'm going to have to live alone.

As I wrote somewhere in this thread, I do sort of live alone much of the time anyway as my flatmate can be away for days on end, so I feel sort-of prepared.  I think it's going to be quite excting. I'm just not looking forward to all the fucking hastle of moving. I'm going to try and find somewhere as near as possible to where I am, so that I don't have to fuck around with all that so much.

So, is there anything I can do to prepare myself for this? I did like Hencole's comment about having a talk radio station on so that you can pretend people are there.

[Marcus Or Relius]

So, is there anything I can do to prepare myself for this?

Try to think of the advantages of having a place all to yourself. Think of the things you'd change about your current flat if your flatmate wasn't there.

Does he leave wet towels all over the bathroom floor? (or do you do that, and he annoyingly picks them up and puts them where you can't find them, like the laundry basket.) Do his Geri Halliwell CDs end up lying around near the stereo and ladies you bring back from sleazy nightclubs refuse to believe your "They're not mine, honest" excuse? Does he utterly refuse to consider your suggestion that a huge Pulp Fiction poster would look much cooler in the living room than a tasteful Habitat print of a bloody flower? Does he nick your beer?

Okay, a lot of assumptions there, probably not really helpful, but no matter how decent a chap your flatmate must be, there must be sometimes you'd think it'd be cool if he wasn't there (although you did mention he buggers off for days anyway). Believing you'll be all lonely and depressed living on your own will probably mean you will be. Er...maybe.

I was lucky in a way. In the month before he moved out, my old flatmate got really depressed, aggressive and down-right scary (such as the time he came into my bedroom at 2AM, stinking drunk and asking if I had a knife because "I'm going out hunting") so, as you might expect, I was rather glad when he buggered off.

As for the practicalities of moving, I chose your tactic of just finding a decent place nearby; only a mile away in my case. I called up my dad who then had a big Volvo Estate and he helped me transfer all my junk to the new flat, and it was done in three-hours.

Sorting all the junk out took a week though. :(

[butnut]

Thanks Marcus. Good advice.  Only this very evening I came into the flat, and he'd left all his washing to dry on one of those racks right near the front door, so I came in and all his girlfriend's annoying tiny socks went flying everywhere. I still haven't picked them up yet. And he never cleans the bath... But he is a great chap, and the fact I've lived with him since 1997 (oh my god - that's 7 years!) says that we've generally got on pretty damn well.

The more I think about living on my own, the more positive I am about it. And the fact that the other real alternative is to move back to my parents keeps me going when I feel a bit down about it.

[terminallyrelaxed]

I am currently sharing a tiny studio with Miss TR - we moved out of our one bedroom because she's off abroad for a while soon, and I needed something I could afford by myself - so we ended up getting something exactly the same price and a third of the size - but its a 20 minute walk to work rather than an hour's tube ride so I save time and £80 a month on travel cards.
Trouble is I've realised I still can't quite afford it,, on my own, not comfortably at any rate and I've now got a plan that involves travelling and saving up ain't possible when literally half your salary goes on rent.
I wasn't willing to live with other people before I got my plan, as I wasn't going anywhere so thought only of long-term comforts, but now I have something to look forward to I could handle a house share for 6 months or so.
When I moved out of my last shared house I wanted to live on my own but ended up with Miss TR and jolly nice its been too but I do find myself hankering for the day she goes on her travels, just for a bit of space, so I won't have to have the computer in the kitchen and can watch TV late etc (not possible in studios with early risers) but I know I'll be whimpering in my pants after a few weeks without her to keep me in line - and I often just can't be arsed to cook for just myself, and not bother to eat until 10pm etc.
I hope to use the time to better myself as I can live on my own terms, get up and go to bed when I want, study when I want, have people over more often go out whenever, choose my own diet etc.
But who am I kidding, it'll probably be microwave meals and 24-hour xbox and smoking too much....