Anger venting thread (be warned, naughty words)

[skibz]

I apologise in advance for the content of this post. Sorry, but it's been one of those days. Firstly, my housemate leaves open the window I've told him MANY times to leave shut overnight, with the result that I was woken up at half six, absolutely freezing and as a result I'm getting a cold. Then, I go to work (a job I've just got that I'm told is ongoing) only to find that

a) It was in fact not ongoing, but  10 hours worth of work
b) I can't get paid for this, because I'm not back next week to get my timesheet signed.

So basically, I've done a weeks work for fuck all and I have to go out of my way in my spare time to get paid for it. I've also missed out on quite a good job that was ongoing, all because my job agency told me something that wasn't true.

THEN I get out of work and get rained on for the walk back, fucking torrential rain that doesn't really help my cold. Well, nobody's fault really, so no reason to get pissed off.

THEN I get back and find my housemate has used my Xbox to play a CD, but he's taken out the game (that I bought today, for 37 quid of my rather scarce money) and left it out, with the result that it now has a big scratch so if I don't like it, I can't take it back for a refund. I tell him this, and he moans at me for being arsey, and doesn't even once say sorry.

This is the guy that:

Called my girlfriend a troll, to my face
Broke my computer and told me it was MY fault (apparently I should have told him it's not a good idea to leave a computer on for 7 days in a row) with the result that I had to pay for all £300 worth of repairs (he chipped in £20)
Slept with my best friend's girlfriend (and, to add insult to injury, called him a twat when he was incredibly depressed and tried to start a fight with him for no reason) and then spent the next 8 months sulking when they got back together
Asked me to get him some weed, and then tried to sell me some for twice the amount it was worth
Asked one of my mates to help him with something, but then imagined he'd actually asked another friend of mine, and rang up THE WRONG PERSON calling him a twat when he didn't hear back from the other guy
Insulted me, several times, when he knew I was feeling suicidal, all because he was pissed of WITH SOMEONE ELSE but was too pussy to tell them

Cunt.

All I can think of doing at the moment is opening my bedroom door and knocking him straight out, or possibly smacking him in the face with a frying pan. It's that kind of anger where I'm trembling slightly all over.

So I've moved to my bedroom to try and calm down, but it's not working. I've suddenly started getting really really worked up about things I think of that really, really, really, really piss me off. It's said by most of my friends that it's better to get it all off your chest at some point, so here goes...

Walking down the street to see huge adverts ALL FULL OF FUCKING PEOPLE HOLDING PRODUCTS AND SMILING LIKE THEY'VE JUST BEEN GIVEN A HANDJOB BY THE DALI LAMA. So, using Persil Ultra will put a big smile on your face, will it? Cunts.

Hearing people moan about their jobs, but realising they don't actually have any particular point they want to moan about. I didn't moan when I had to get up at 5:30 every saturday and sunday morning to clean the busiest men's toilets in Lancaster,  for fuck's sake. Cunts.

Celebrities. Any kind of celebrity who think's they're so fucking great that everyone needs to know about their amazing, incredible, holier-than-thou life story. Robson fucking Green, for example - the man does nothing except read out from pieces of paper, yet we all obviously find this good enough to warrant a huge book about every single detail in his shitty little career. Cunt.

People who walk past me in the street, who (when they think they're out of earshot) say 'Oh, he looked a bit nasty with all those piercings'. I sometimes want to walk right up to them and tell them how fucking ignorant they are. Cunts.

People who come straight into a thread stating their opinion, calling everyone who doesn't agree a retard, when they don't realise that this point has ALREADY BEEN MADE SEVERAL TIMES BEFORE. Cunts.

Parents who are obviously so unfit to have children that, with the slightest peep out of their kid in a public place, they shout at them, drag them around by the scruff of the neck, and slap them silly, without realising that everyone else in the area is staring at them thinking 'twat'. Cunts (or possibly 'twats')

Tabloid newspapers that think they're the best thing since Jesus. The Mail is the best example, printing out page after page of its uneducated, neo-fascist shit, thinking that it's the one publication with so much as a shred of dignity in the whole fucking universe. Even moreso, the way that the Mail only publishes letters from readers happy to suck Satan's cock so they can get their name in the paper, not from readers with any kind of criticism for its lazy, shitty, cancerous reporting. Cunts.



Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh..... that feels so much better :)

[Lady Beany]

*all smiley and camp* I THINK SOMEONE NEEDS A HUGGGGG!

Well I would offer you a sympathetic handjob, but I don't think I would get out alive.

So, erm... shit day huh?

[skibz]

Well I would offer you a sympathetic handjob, but I don't think I would get out alive.

It's never good to point a loaded gun at your face :)

Yep, it's been a shit day. I'm feeling a bit better after all that though! A hug would be absolutely lovely, thanks Lady B :)

[Dr David V]

I wish I could find an MP3 of the Happy Happy Joy Joy song right now. It never fails to cheer me up when I'm down. Oh well, I'll sing it to myself.

Happy happy joy joy, happy happy joy joy, happy happy joy joy, happy happy joy joy. Happy happy joy joy, happy happy joy joy, hapy happy joy joy JOY!

[Lady Beany]

You know what I say?  Get down the offie and purchase a bottle of champers or vodka.  It will numb the pain and your hands, and that way if you DO end up having a consolatory wank it will almost feel as though I am doing it for you.

How the fuck did I turn this poor man's misery into a wanking thread?

Drink.  Get drunk.  I am halfway through a bottle of champagne.  Why?  Because I can, thats why.

[skibz]

You know what I say?  Get down the offie and purchase a bottle of champers or vodka.  It will numb the pain and your hands, and that way if you DO end up having a consolatory wank it will almost feel as though I am doing it for you.

How the fuck did I turn this poor man's misery into a wanking thread?

Drink.  Get drunk.  I am halfway through a bottle of champagne.  Why?  Because I can, thats why.

Thanks for the advice, I'm on can number 2 at the min. I'm also playing 'True Crime' on my Xbox and deliberately shooting every single pedestrian in the groin :)

[fanny splendid]

Yep, get thee to the WaterWitch and have a few glasses of Kriek, or go the Sun Inn and grab a glass or three of Frambozen.

[skibz]

Yep, get thee to the WaterWitch and have a few glasses of Kriek

Aah, Liefman's Kriek. That's the cherry one, isn't it?

Are you a regular there? I frequent the Bobbin, myself :)

[Timmay]

This is the guy that:

Broke my computer and told me it was MY fault (apparently I should have told him it's not a good idea to leave a computer on for 7 days in a row) with the result that I had to pay for all £300 worth of repairs (he chipped in £20)

Mine's on 24/7, 365 days a year (excluding Christmas Day)

Actually no, including Christmas Day. Usually on here.

But yeah, he's a cunt - take solace in the fact that most people on here would've lamped him by now.

[fanny splendid]

Yep, the Kriek is the cherry one. Frambozen is made with raspberries, and is great on a hot day.

I don't live in Lancaster anymore, but I'm from there. I always pop into the Bobbin when I visit, and always moan about how shocking the juke box now is, and how the pub was so much better in the old days when it was the plain old Priory, sticky carpet and all! ;-) I have spent many a long evening in there drinking Weston's Old rosie, chatting up the students, then off up to the Alex for the Goth Rock Indie Pop nights on a Friday and Saturday. The Alex is now the Revolution Vodka Bar :-(

[Crazy Penis]

I don't know whether this is the right thing to say, but you should feel better because you know that you aren't like any of them.

[9]

Skibz, just remember; You are RIGHT. The world is WRONG!

Your flatmate is clearly a cunt. Pay some heavy men to 'deal with him'.

Now get drunk and dance around your room to 'Laura' by the scissor sisters. That's what I would do/am doing.

(Bonus kitten picture;

)

[skibz]

Thanks so much, I'm feeling ace once again!

You guys are great :)

[Marcus Or Relius]

Glad to hear you're better skibz.

And that kitten pic 9 posted should be on the front page of the Samaritan's website. It cheered me up no end (although to be fair I wasn't miserable to start with.)

[morgs]

Almost had moment of road-rage this evening.  I got out of work in time (I thought) to get to the bank to put some cheques in.  As luck would have it the only parking space in a 2 mile radius was right outside the bank.  I indicated and began to reverse in.  This bloody woman behind started to move into the space forward (ie she was driving behind me, had seen me indicate but didn't give a fuck.)  She stopped, I waved in an 'OI! I AM IN A RUSH AS IT IS 4.25! kind of way) and she folded her arms and sat there, blocking the road.

A car behind her got arsey so I pulled away, only to see her pull away too.  I decided to take the next right hand turn so that I could drive around the block and come to the space again.  As I turned right she overtook me also turning right!  I was doing 25-30, this was off a High Street onto a narrow road with cars parked up each side.  Pedestrians had to get out of her way.  So I did the decent thing and chased her for 5 minutes instead of going back to the bank.

Then I felt guilty as well as angry so I went to an off-licence instead.

Wank.

[Artemis]

God. That's a shitter - sorry!

It reminded me of the time.... (long story coming up to try and amuse you and remind you you're not the only one who's had a shitty deal at times) .... when I was young and naive enough to believe little job ads in the back of papers that said "You could earn seventy grand!". I was doing nowt at the time so I phoned one up and considered myself extremely lucky to be granted an interview. When I went in, I was made to feel like Christ himself, and once they could see I wasn't a complete idiot, they invited me to come into work. I was so awed by their frankly staggering rate of commission that in my mind I glossed over the bit where they told me that as long as I'd turn up at 8am, take half an hour's break and go home at 5.30pm five days a week, they'd give me a hundred quid. I was invited to come in the following Monday, which I did - all ready to rake in the big mahoolah. In all the talk of big-money commission and opportunity, it also occured to me that they'd failed to tell me what exactly I'd specifically be doing, so when some toss-arse who stank of sweat and looked like his life was a constant replay of his mum's funeral came to me, said nothing, plugged in a phone and threw a yellow pages on my otherwise empty desk, I was mildly concerned.

Turns out that the job was to phone up companies, get through to the manager and try to sell him corporate hospitality. If I was in the same position now, I think suicide would be looking like a pretty hot option, but my politics were underdeveloped back then and I just kept my mind focused on the nice shiny gold bracelet that the guy next to me was wearing. Day one, I had spoken to about two managing directors, one who told me to "fuck off" and the other who just laughed then put the phone down. I remember being quite surprised how many top executives were "in a meeting".

By the end of the week, the level of my dishonesty had reached such a point that my conscience had bailed out on about Tuesday afternoon and I was guest of honour at Satan's next party in Hell. I had become adept at simply lying to secretarys, making up not only my name but also the reason I was calling and that I was on "very good terms" with whoever the MD was, and that if she told him who I was he'd be "sure to take my call". Shamelessly, 7 times out of 10 this worked. I'd then bullshit the MD into thinking the offer for a private tent at Ascot was a superb deal, until I faxed him all the fine print at his request, at which point he'd realise I had just inserted my penis firmly inside his rectum and wasted a nice part of his day. The resulting complaints were filed and thrown away at the end of the day along with everyone elses. After all, the phone book's thicker then the bible. These techniques were among many that they had advised me I should use in the half an hour's training they gave me.

By the end of week one, I had secured precisely zero deals, but turned up and tried hard so they were happy to keep me on because they were confident that I'd get somewhere at some point, and I was hardly costing them anything by being there anyway. I, on the other hand, could no longer live with myself by lying to people who didn't want to know anyway, so I phoned up the boss and told him I found the operation a bit dishonest (being sure not to be too rude) and that I was going to resign effective immediately since there was no contract to keep me there. When I asked him what time would be best to pop in and collect the hundred quid for the week I worked, he told me (for the first time) that week one was a trial and that if I secured no deals, I'd get no money. Being the English twat I am, I thanked him and hung up.

Later that day I had become consumed with rage (in a very English "may I have a stern word with you please?" kind of way) and phoned up the office. I got through to his secretary and told her to put me through to Mr. SuchandSuch and not to give me any excuses. She put me through and I told him I wanted the money I'd earned. When he just said "no", I was so angry I asked for the number of the head office in Glasgow, and when he told me that as far as I was concerned, this was 'head office', I threatened him with legal action and hung up (though not before he giggled and said he'd wait to hear from my solicitor).

I don't know if I was more angry at myself for not being wise enough to spot a scam when it's waving merily in my face or for not going down to the office and slashing the cunt's tires. Or maybe there's too many total assholes taking advantage of a young man's naivity and desperation.

God, I'm angrier now then when I started this post.

PS Did you really clean public toilets in Lancaster?

[Marcus Or Relius]

I can empathise with you there Artemis, there are a lot of scam-jobs whereby the companies are deliberately not very forthcoming until you've accepted the job because they know people won't take them.

A similar thing happened to a friend of mine. She was told her new job would be administration work, which she was used to. On her first day they sat her at an desk with nothing but a phone on it, gave her a huge list of companies and phone-numbers and asked her to phone up all the companies advertising and try to sell them stuff. She quit that day and took up another job, whereby pretty much the same thing happened - she spent a week doing secretarial duties - which she was happy with - then on the second week the real secretary returned from holiday and my friend was told "Er, sorry, that secretary position was temporary, but we have some fine telesales duties for you to do, here's a phone." She quit and stormed out on the spot.

When I was a niave 23-year-old, I was unemployed and desperate for work when I saw an ad for some vague job. "Call for an immediate interview." I did, had an interview at a fairly nice looking building and was invited for a second interview. Although they said it dealt with electrical equipment, they were quite vague and cleverly concentrated on telling me it was all down to the second interview, so my mind was on that rather than what it involved. Oh, and they mentioned in every sentence that I could earn "up to £2,000 a month" - a sign that only a fool like I was at the time would miss as evidence of a blatant scam.

Come the second interview, me and a few others were invited into a little seminar to find out a bit more about the products were to be 'marketing'...at the front of the room was a fucking vacuum cleaner. Yup, it was a vacuum cleaner sales job. The guy was explaining we would earn £800 a month guaranteed plus £120 for each fucking hoover flogged. He enthusiastically declared "People will pay £1,100 for this, look at how great it sucks up dust!!" It's a sure a sign of a no-hope job that the company have to try to convince the potential recruits that the product is any good - and that isn't a mis-print by the way, these hoovers did cost that much.

The second 'interview' followed, which consisted of being asked if I wanted the job. For a laugh I said "Yes" then just didn't bother turning up or returning their calls.

Oh, and skibz, are you gonna kick up a fuss with the job agency that sent you to that place, or even better, burn their offices down?

[Artemis]

For a laugh I said "Yes" then just didn't bother turning up or returning their calls.

God, I've done that on more then one occasion - I always wish I could have the balls to say "no I don't accept - it's a shit job and I have more dignity" I mean, what's it going to cost me - the job that I'm not taking anyway? But no,  I always end up being so English about it.

I know what you mean about those 'marketing' or 'promotion' jobs. They always seem so laid back and friendly, don't they? And the advert always refers to first name like "Call Kim" or "Ask for Jasmine". You get in and the radio's playing and you think it's looking like the kind of trendy place you could see yourself until you find out you'll be calling unannounced at businesses and trying to get them to buy flannels or something.

<shudder>

Thank Christ my life has moved on from that now.

[king mob]

Put superglue in his underpants & watch him suffer or you can just beat the little spoiled wanker to a pulp in his sleep?

[skibz]

Put superglue in his underpants & watch him suffer or you can just beat the little spoiled wanker to a pulp in his sleep?

Well, I'd had a similar thought:

putting superglue around the rim of his bong :)

[gazzyk1ns]

Yeah part of me wants to refrain from saying stuff like "Hit the twat" but let's be honest, people shouldn't be able to get away with being like that, and the fact that they think it is acceptable means they're not going to understand or even listen to you. Just whack him.

I did a similar thing to you in the rain yesterday, me and a mate were getting the bus into town and were forced to walk from mine to the bus stop during the worst possible 5-minute period, weather-wise, in the past week. Cunt's law isn't it...