Curtain Twitchers: Unleashed

[Cardenio I]

Periodical cicadas spend 17 years dormant under the ground before issuing forth in great plgues and generally  being fucking disgusting all over the place. This is a metaphor.

The "Stasi officer behind a net curtain" is not exactly a dormant archetype of the British collective unconscious, but it does feel like present circumstances have pushed it up out of newly fecund ground after a long post WW2 winter.

I've had to leave two different Facebook mutual aid groups and several other useful community groups because they've long since degenerated into long form grievance airings against anyone 'caught' in violation, no matter how trivial, of social distancing measures. Naturally, half these measures are fevered figments of the hardcore grass imagination. Even before the lockdown, there were people moaning on the Victoria Park Facebook group that people were out there running and cycling, and some even sitting about in groups of three! I presume their co-ordinated outrage bears some responsibility for the parks closure. Nice one.

Just had someone on a Nextdoor group posting candid shots of workmen on a building site round the corner. "Outrage, they weren't distancing at all. I saw one of them pour tea from his personal thermos into another one's cup. Does anyone know who I can report them to?" Just report them to the Tower Hamlets Mutual Aid death squad, they'll have heads on pikes in no time. Had to leave a family WhatsApp chat because my cousin was ranting about fucking fat fucking mouth breathing cretins queuing too close to each other outside Tesco. Obligatory candid photo.

Is anyone else deeply uneasy about the prevalence of this attitude? It's possible I'm being over sensitive, and I suppose to an extent shaming is a tool by which social norms function. But there's something fundamentally sneery and holier-than-thou and country's-going-to-the-dogs about it too. Not too mention that half the moans I see are for people doing perfectly legitimate things. "Out jogging on his own, he was, like butter wouldn't melt. Anyway, I've petitioned the Mayor for some municipal gas chambers." We talk about a long history of liberty, but the Brits would fucking love a police state.

[idunnosomename]

you know meddlesome ratbag is keeping a logbook of every jogger she can see

[bgmnts]

We talk about a long history of liberty, but the Brits would fucking love a police state.

Do we? First thing I think about when thinking about Britain is the class system and imperialism; knowing our place and appreciating a firm hand. We're hardly liberal.

We would def fucking love being told what to do.

[Buelligan]

I think the builders thing should be focused at bosses forcing workers to work in environments that wouldn't be considered safe or "correct" if it was being done voluntarily outside of work.  Criticising or pointing out stuff like that is no bad thing. 

On the other stuff, I think you have to take each complainant on their own merits.  They're all individuals, some are cunts, some not and most are bit cunty bit not.  I think there are probably quite a lot of people who hate a certain person in their street, a certain type of person or whatever and are using the situation as a vindicator, a permission to unleash their inner malice or establish their superiority or authority.  There are also probably quite a few people who don't give a fuck about others, think that they won't suffer and don't see why they should alter their behaviour to help others. That's humans for you.

[Cardenio I]

Do we? First thing I think about when thinking about Britain is the class system and imperialism; knowing our place and appreciating a firm hand. We're hardly liberal.

We would def fucking love being told what to do.

I think, among the ruling classes at least, there is a deeply held narrative around English liberty, the mother of all parliaments etc. As slippery as Johnson is, I think this genuine ideological belief informed his reticence to lock down. It's less ingrained for this of us who went to a state school and learnt basically fuck all about English history, let alone a comforting Whig throughline from Magna Carta through Civil War, Glorious Revolution etc. Enlightened aristocratic liberalism I guess.

(I'm aware I've slipped from British to English here, that's part of the point)

[idunnosomename]

not among the coppers though

[Captain Crunch]

Every two minutes:

[Sebastian Cobb]

It's the grammar police that need to be called !!!!

[Captain Crunch]

There's a lot of one-upmanship and bullying on these type of groups.  Last week they went after the ice-cream man on the common, pictures of his face with BAN THIS SICK FILTH comments.  They were miffed when it got taken down (hopefully because of me but I like to think I'm not the only one reporting it). 

[idunnosomename]

think of the poor doggers

[jobotic]

Our refuse lorry workers walked out today after serving a section 44 to the employer. The employer has agreed to their demands, which they wouldn't even acknowledge before.

The point is prior to this they were still cramped 4 into a cab and unable to keep 2m apart. But it wasn't their fault.

[finnquark]

Just seen a guy about an hour ago walking down near co-op coughing loudly and making no attempt whatsoever to try cover his mouth. Kept coughing continuously while walking, why was he out in the first place?

[Shaun Ryder]

Just seen a guy about an hour ago walking down near co-op coughing loudly and making no attempt whatsoever to try cover his mouth.

call the cops

[idunnosomename]

i wish we had guns so we could put the infected out of their misery

[jobotic]

Alright Toby Young

[finnquark]

call the cops

That was the first response. The second was to "put him in the stocks like Davro".

[Mister Six]

Dunno, can't really blame the outrage. There's a horrible fucking virus killing and crippling people. It should be taken seriously. Don't share mugs of tea like a cunt.

That said, a friend of mine who's laid low with coronavirus in Brooklyn found out her neighbours have been writing horrible things about her and her wife being plague bearers. They've been quarantining (and unable to leave the house in any case because they're so fucked) but the cunt neighbours are still treating them like a threat. Horrible.

[bgmnts]

Its killing old and sick people. So you can understand people who aren't old and sick not wanting to upend their entire lives.

[idunnosomename]

i stopped for a walk on the way to the shops (so i'd not gone on a trip up the kyhber pass or anything only like ten minutes on the way to home bargains for some booze) and some nutter had slipped a bit of paper under my windscreen saying no one should visit his village until the pandemic has ended and he's taken a picture of my number plate. and the car next to me.

i can tell it's the same nutter who puts up incredibly egotistical signs about how he picks up all YOUR dog shit.

jokes on him I dont even own a dog!

[Endicott]

Did you disinfect the note or just remove it carefully with tweezers?

[Buelligan]

Just seen a guy about an hour ago walking down near co-op coughing loudly and making no attempt whatsoever to try cover his mouth. Kept coughing continuously while walking, why was he out in the first place?

Maybe they live alone and need food?

[finnquark]

Maybe they live alone and need food?

Sorry, should have made clear it was a post on a local "support group" and is obviously preposterous.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Now we are largely housebound it gives you more inclination to follow local groups, but rest assured, they have always been like this, not just since Coronavirus came along. Interfering busybodies that need to gas off third hand news and reactionary loudmouths stalking in hope to locate new paedophiles to lynch.

I do not rate them as people but I still have more respect for them than the "we saw off the Germans we'll get through this" pensioners blocking every thoroughfare and supermarket aisle oblivious to the mounting danger of the situation for themselves. Or the people that think their dog can't be a transmission point so let it off the lead.

[Pingers]

i stopped for a walk on the way to the shops (so i'd not gone on a trip up the kyhber pass or anything only like ten minutes on the way to home bargains for some booze) and some nutter had slipped a bit of paper under my windscreen saying no one should visit his village until the pandemic has ended and he's taken a picture of my number plate. and the car next to me.

i can tell it's the same nutter who puts up incredibly egotistical signs about how he picks up all YOUR dog shit.

jokes on him I dont even own a dog!

Joke's on him, it's your own shit

[idunnosomename]

Joke's on him, it's your own shit

i'll have you know i pick up any bowel movements of my own with a little plastic bag to throw at police officers

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Or the people that think their dog can't be a transmission point so let it off the lead.

There's no evidence that dogs can transmit coronavirus. They shouldn't be let off the lead anyway.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

There's no evidence that dogs can transmit coronavirus. They shouldn't be let off the lead anyway.

Objects like door handles can be infection points for a limited time. I wasn't claiming dogs directly catch the virus, but clearly if they are touched by someone with it then they are just a shitting, sweating door handle that runs around trying to make contact with as many things as possible.

[ZoyzaSorris]

They might not be able to catch it but presumably they can still physically transfer the particles on their fur and whatnot.

Edit: stomachs got there first

[Mister Six]

Its killing old and sick people. So you can understand people who aren't old and sick not wanting to upend their entire lives.

I can understand that they are cunts, yes.

[idunnosomename]

https://twitter.com/lambeth_council/status/1246497734741364742

Lambeth Council have closed Brockwell Park - some people's only open space - and basically talking to everyone like children

I'm not a sunbather by any means but the state of some of these tory government STAY HOME PROTECT THE NHS catchphrase-spouting vigilantes i am genuinely scared of lying down on the grass outdoors in case someone spots me with a telescope and runs over to kick my head in