Curtain Twitchers: Unleashed

[notjosh]

I'm not a sunbather by any means but the state of some of these tory government STAY HOME PROTECT THE NHS catchphrase-spouting vigilantes i am genuinely scared of lying down on the grass outdoors in case someone spots me with a telescope and runs over to kick my head in

Genuine question - what's actually the difference between walking to a park for some exercise (government approved) and walking to the park to lie down for a bit (#JUSTSTAYATHOME YOU SELFISH PRICKS)?

[idunnosomename]

nothing. they should have been much clearer. can people in electric wheelchairs go outside to enjoy nature?!?

[big al]

Nothing, it's just that people have decided what the rules are, and vaguely scratching any sort of enjoyment out of your state sanctioned exercise seems to be NOT ALLOWED.
I read someone on Reddit state that if you are out you should be walking or jogging in a straight line, no letting little kids have a run about, no stopping to enjoy the sun on your face, to watch a bird, enjoy nature...... just relentless exercise until you are safely back home.

[BlodwynPig]

https://twitter.com/lambeth_council/status/1246497734741364742

Lambeth Council have closed Brockwell Park - some people's only open space - and basically talking to everyone like children

I'm not a sunbather by any means but the state of some of these tory government STAY HOME PROTECT THE NHS catchphrase-spouting vigilantes i am genuinely scared of lying down on the grass outdoors in case someone spots me with a telescope and runs over to kick my head in

They would be breaking the law by coming over and kicking your head in, 2 metres please! USE AN AUGMENTED SHOVEL OR SNOOKER CUE EXTENSION FOR CHRISSAKE

[imitationleather]

I read someone on Reddit state that if you are out you should be walking or jogging in a straight line, no letting little kids have a run about, no stopping to enjoy the sun on your face, to watch a bird, enjoy nature...... just relentless exercise until you are safely back home.

Yeah but people on Reddit are mental.

[big al]

Yeah but people on Reddit are mental.

I know, I shouldn't even go on there, it either makes me too anxious with all the " I've looked at the figures, and if we carry on at this rate 25% of the population will die!, the government is doing everything wrong, we should have had full lockdown two months ago, look at me , look at me, I know better than all the experts" bullshit that a certain type of Redditor takes glee in. Or I get too irritated with all the sanctimonious whinging about seeing someone sitting on a park bench, and how hard is it to stay at home? Like they can't understand why people need sunlight and fresh air. (within reason obviously, I'm not saying we should breech the social distancing rules)

I honestly think a lot of them wold be absolutely thrilled if the government went full police state and deployed the army.   

[imitationleather]

See also: MumsNet.

It's full of pure Meddlesome Ratbag-type post such as:

All of our neighbours have been out in their cars every day, always coming back with a small shopping bag. Some (I'm looking at the covidiot opposite) go out several times per day for just 1 or 2 items.

The amount of surveillance that would be necessary to keep tabs on all your neighbours like that is mind boggling.

[Buelligan]

Have to say, I live somewhere remote as fuck.  Even so, I have obediently remained within my home walls (apart from trips to the shop for food) for weeks.  Today, is an incredible hot day, I decided to venture out on the mountain, primarily to check the progress of some rather rare and lovely orchids[nb]Looking superb and beginning to set seed.[/nb] but also to maintain my incredible aerobic fitness.  Anyway, I do this same walk very often under normal circs and never encounter another living soul.  Today, I met two people, separately, both outworlders.  I came home, only to see a pair of fucking boomers, also strangers, with daysacks creeping past my house and staring in.  WTFF.  Police state now!

[Sony Walkman Prophecies]

My upstairs neighbours seem to be back and forth, in and out of the house, 4-5 times per day. More active than ever before. That's not what sexually excites me though: what really gets me off is the fact that (since I had the foresight to install a net curtain) I can grimace and claw at anyone passing my window, safe in the knowledge they don't have a clue what I'm doing. I can see them, they can't see me.

Net curtains: Suburbia's two-way mirror.

[Icehaven]

My Mum is a bit of a curtain twitcher at the best of times, but last week she did the exact opposite of what the coronatwitchers are doing and was perturbed because the two cars of the family living opposite, which apparently are always coming and going, hadn't moved at all for nearly a week. I tried to ask why she thought this was odd, given the current situation, but she seemed not to be able to make the connection between the fact that everyone is supposed to be staying at home, and the effect this might have on her neighbour's routines. "Yes but don't they at least still need to go shopping?" Well with two cars they could probably buy enough to last them a month or more. I think she's just determined to think they're up to something even though the evidence points to the contrary and they appear to be doing exactly as we're being told.

[Cerys]

nothing. they should have been much clearer. can people in electric wheelchairs go outside to enjoy nature?!?

Disableds don't enjoy nature, as it's a constant reminder that everyone else's body works properly.  Better to stay indoors and track the constant trails of drool from mouth to colostomy bag.

[earl_sleek]

Its killing old and sick people. So you can understand people who aren't old and sick not wanting to upend their entire lives.

It's killing a lot of people who aren't old and sick as well.

[Buelligan]

My Mum is a bit of a curtain twitcher at the best of times, but last week she did the exact opposite of what the coronatwitchers are doing and was perturbed because the two cars of the family living opposite, which apparently are always coming and going, hadn't moved at all for nearly a week. I tried to ask why she thought this was odd, given the current situation, but she seemed not to be able to make the connection between the fact that everyone is supposed to be staying at home, and the effect this might have on her neighbour's routines. "Yes but don't they at least still need to go shopping?" Well with two cars they could probably buy enough to last them a month or more. I think she's just determined to think they're up to something even though the evidence points to the contrary and they appear to be doing exactly as we're being told.

She may be thinking that they're up to something like lying in bed needing help urgently.  Maybe broach this with her and suggest she twitches their curtains with some binoculars if necessary.

[garbed_attic]

I think the builders thing should be focused at bosses forcing workers to work in environments that wouldn't be considered safe or "correct" if it was being done voluntarily outside of work.  Criticising or pointing out stuff like that is no bad thing. 

Yeh, but it's like people here in Suffolk getting angry at Polish farm labourers undercutting the Brits (who don't want to be doing the work anyway) rather than the actual farmers who are willing to illegally pay their below minimum wage under the table. Same as it ever way, I guess.

[idunnosomename]

https://twitter.com/Bob0Mar/status/1248242433923502080?s=19

[Bazooka]

https://twitter.com/Bob0Mar/status/1248242433923502080?s=19

What's most chilling is the person wrote that in the back seat of the recipient's car.

[Twit 2]

Pleased to see it has the random mix of lower and uppercase letters that any good passive-aggressive note should have.

[shiftwork2]

It may be a healthcare worker observing the longstanding advice on not wearing uniform outside of work because it helps to control the spread of infectious diseases such as the coronavirus which is in the news at the moment.

[Sebastian Cobb]

It may be a healthcare worker observing the longstanding advice on not wearing uniform outside of work because it helps to control the spread of infectious diseases such as the coronavirus which is in the news at the moment.

Yep, you're not supposed to do it anyway but it is being reinforced that workers should not travel in uniforms, uniforms should be transported in plastic bags which should be disposed of after use and uniforms should be washed on their own on the highest permissible wash setting.

[Dex Sawash]

highest permissible wash setting.

It has been noted that you have laundered items on higher setting than permissible. Protect our Delicate Clothings.

[shiftwork2]

^ are you talking 'boil wash'?  Mythical stuff, the boil wash.  Might put one on now for research purposes.  Looks like my washing machine goes up to 90.  Anyone got lab access to an autoclave?

[The Bumlord]

Mine goes up to 95 degrees.


Mmmmm dat's hot boi!

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Biowaste. If the police are going to 'move people on' for doing essentially harmless activities they should also be 'moving on' this person, to a local incinerator.

From the handwriting style I'm going to take a guess this was a woman in their late 20s/early 30s.

[Sebastian Cobb]

^ are you talking 'boil wash'?  Mythical stuff, the boil wash.  Might put one on now for research purposes.  Looks like my washing machine goes up to 90.  Anyone got lab access to an autoclave?

I put my tea-towels on one of them and most of them came out quite a bit smaller.

[Phoenix Lazarus]

https://twitter.com/Bob0Mar/status/1248242433923502080?s=19

The writer neglected to add they'd been watching them for seven years.

[solidified gruel merchant]

Biowaste. If the police are going to 'move people on' for doing essentially harmless activities they should also be 'moving on' this person, to a local incinerator.

From the handwriting style I'm going to take a guess this was a woman in their late 20s/early 30s.

Does your handwriting change as you get older then? Or do different generations have different styles? I think you're right, female probably 30's, but I'm not sure why..

[Sebastian Cobb]

My handwriting looks like it was written by an arthritic pensioner these days. I keep my shopping lists folded to hide my shame.

[shiftwork2]

I put my tea-towels on one of them and most of them came out quite a bit smaller.

And has this made drying the dishes a bit quicker?

[idunnosomename]

it's the kooky-wooky circles instead of dots

[Johnny Yesno]

i am genuinely scared of lying down on the grass outdoors in case someone spots me with a telescope and runs over to kick my head in

Well, lie down on the grass outdoors without a telescope, then, you dirty old bollocks.