Takeaways

[Gregory Torso]

He'd keep bouncing off on his retractible legs, probably rip your cock off

[ollyboro]

can't imagine anything shiter than a takeway maybe a handjob from ram man

On average I have between one to three handjobs a week; two to six a fortnight. Say, I dunno, seven or eight to twenty two to twenty eight a month. Something like ninety to three hundred and fiftyish a year. Not had one for weeks. I'm out of napkins

[Cloud]

minimal risk to eater or staff?

In context, eater, but curious how it's a risk to the staff to send things via delivery and leave it on the doorstep

[Twit 2]

PIZZA KEBABS BURGERS

SAUCE AND SALAD MATE???

[Dewt]

I bought some msg to up my chinese chicken curry game.

That's the spirit!

[flotemysost]

I bought some msg to up my chinese chicken curry game.

I've ordered some of those frozen baby mice you get in pet stores, in order to authentically recreate a fried chicken burger from my local.

[Jasha]

Took a stroll for meat and chips last night, if the 'vid can survive on week old salad then it's every right to bump me off

[Sebastian Cobb]

That's the spirit!

Also bought a contraption for making crisps in a microwave so can have wonderful flavours like 'msg and onion powder'.

[DistressedArea]

I've asked the takeaway man to leave the takeaway outside my door, but their policy is to push the food through my letterbox one item at a time.

[Ferris]

Also bought a contraption for making crisps in a microwave so can have wonderful flavours like 'msg and onion powder'.

Is it one of these silicon tray jobs? Someone got us one a while back, they are surprisingly good

[Sebastian Cobb]

Is it one of these silicon tray jobs? Someone got us one a while back, they are surprisingly good

Yeah, just a plastic rack and a little mandolin.

[Ferris]

Yeah, just a plastic rack and a little mandolin.

I was impressed at how actually like crisps they come out, though you can only make about 6 at a time.

[sirhenry]

a little mandolin.

It's called a ukelele.

[Captain Crunch]

If you look up 'fakeaways' you can find recipes for stuff like spiced chicken and how to put a burger and a fried egg in an English muffin.  Or you could go all out wartime:

https://the1940sexperiment.com/100-wartime-recipes/?fbclid=IwAR0MkRQFiMWSYw2cZtRArInDiZKHsfM_k-JjQ6S0uDf8Qha1NbEt_U5y5WE

(There's not much rat in it).

[dissolute ocelot]

If you look up 'fakeaways' you can find recipes for stuff like spiced chicken and how to put a burger and a fried egg in an English muffin.  Or you could go all out wartime:

https://the1940sexperiment.com/100-wartime-recipes/?fbclid=IwAR0MkRQFiMWSYw2cZtRArInDiZKHsfM_k-JjQ6S0uDf8Qha1NbEt_U5y5WE

(There's not much rat in it).

Fuck I'd rather eat rat than make pastry 4 parts flour to 1 of margarine. (But it's worth it checking out recipes for takeaway-style curry because they seem to do it completely different to the authentic Indian curries you get in reputable recipe sites.)

[El Unicornio, mang]

I've tried a few British curry house recipes but this is the best one I've found. This is just the base gravy (you'll end up with enough for a few tupperware containers worth to freeze for future use) but he also has a load of specific recipes like bhuna, madras, etc using the base sauce + additional ingredients.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbW2NyoXVts&t=347s

The ingredients/directions are in the vid description also

[Dewt]

https://www.ziangsworkshop.com/our-youtube-channel

[Ferris]

I've tried a few British curry house recipes but this is the best one I've found. This is just the base gravy (you'll end up with enough for a few tupperware containers worth to freeze for future use) but he also has a load of specific recipes like bhuna, madras, etc using the base sauce + additional ingredients.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbW2NyoXVts&t=347s

The ingredients/directions are in the vid description also

The base sauce really is a game changer. I use the below one, and try to keep a decent supply in the freezer at all times.

https://wearenotfoodies.com/the-secret-to-making-restaurant-style-curry-at-home/

[Twit 2]

To simplify further, I reckon it's puréed cooked onions and the use of fenugreek which are your key BIR flavours, so including those elements without following the base gravy dogma is worth experimenting with.

[Cold Meat Platter]

Also: cook a few rounds of pakora/onion bhajis and use the  deep frying oil to start your currys.

Onion Bhajis/Pakora:

2 decent size onions (sliced)/ onions and small cubes of potato or bits of other veg to similar weight if veg pakora
100g gram flour
1 tsp ginger paste
1 tsp garlic paste
1 tsp salt
1 tsp crushed coriander seeds
1 tsp kasoori methi (dried fenugreek leaves)
1 tsp cumin seeds
1 tsp chili powder
1/2 tsp garam masala
tablespoon chopped fresh coriander
chopped chilis to taste

Mix all up in a bowl and leave for half an hour til the water leaches out of the onions.
make golf ball sized balls and deep fry at a low heat (140c ish) for 3-4 minutes then remove. Turn heat up (160) and fry again until done. Prob another 3-4 mins.

Do multiple times with same oil and use the spiced oil to start currys.

[Dewt]

Do bhajis freeze well? Thinking about heating 'em up in the old air fryer

[Cold Meat Platter]

Never tried. Don't see why not though.

[king_tubby]

Thought about having a Chinese last night but on JustEat there are only 5 left in Leeds, with another 27 closed for the duration, if not forever. The 5 left are so expensive that we gave up on the idea, but not until we had a chance to drool over the idea of Fragrant Stir-fried Pork Intestines, Szechuan style.

I'm assuming we're having a generous serving of leftover stir-fried racism with our pandemic.

If you find a good one can you let me know cos I've not found one in 20+ years of living here.

[timebug]

My young cousin whose daughters are both nurses, is paranoid about disinfecting everything,wiping down the dog, her husband, the family car etc, yet she still orders takeaway crap a few times a week. Food cooked (and touched) by who knows who/what
and then handled and packed/delivered by same. No accounting for logic sometimes....

[DrGreggles]

I've been on a diet for the past 10 weeks, but I still allow myself a monthly takeaway treat.
And that monthly treat will be this coming weekend, where I'll be thinking "this is good for the local economy" as I repeatedly shovel greasy meat into my fat face.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I had a go at making my own breaded chicken burgers and fuck me it's easy, why haven't I done this before?

[Dewt]

Mate. Get on the "we run takeaways and now we're telling you all of our secrets on YouTube" circuit.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Really the most difficult part is working out what to do with this pint of oil I used to shallow fry it.

[Twit 2]

Put it through a fine sieve and re-use it, foo'.

DID YOU USE PANKO BREADCRUMBS?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Really the most difficult part is working out what to do with this pint of oil I used to shallow fry it.

In Boro it's called 'a wet glass'. GBH with minor burns.