What is 'normal'?

[Abnormal Palm]

I was one of the most prepared people in the Western world for this pandemic lockdown but over the last week, I've felt a distinct PANG that 'normality' is slipping through our cultural grasp despite our best efforts to keep smiling and stay polite and cane the crimson arse off social media. We are incredibly adaptable creatures, but perhaps also to our detriment. When we do come through the other side of this, I worry that we will have forgotten what 'normal' really is...

For reasons of cultural and social preservation, please record below your notions of 'normal'.

[Dewt]

What was "hope"?

[Abnormal Palm]

Normal is getting a kebab after the pub and then deciding to keep on rolling and going back to my mate's bar and then hanging out with his wife and her friends and singing 80s pop hits. One of the friends is sick or starts crying.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

30 yarders curled in on the underside of the crossbar
Pub open and place for chips
Dogs running feral across dual carriageways
Moratorium on wave machine production
Graffiti artist he say "wel maybe the policing we need to do actually is inside OURSELVES"
APRIL DEAL - big fucking discounts on the whole lot, do it
MANAGER SPECIAL - 2 korma £6.99 lunch cheers
No Pets, No DSS, No Labour members
Fascists are all white middle class families with pretty faces and grinning little babies
Work drudgery commute drug overdose shartopsy
Letter through door - rent gone up soz
National park bricked up - "Sick of it"
Jackfruit 'alright after marinade I suppose'
Wiping the work surface down so it is clean again
Consuming Fiction / wanking
Hi Score for AIDS - most AIDS ever seen
Speed run on AIDS - fastest AIDS accumulation ever seen
Sondico bringing out new football boots 
Midlands town gets famous for lezzers
Overhearing mild transphobia in a street food kitchen
Yeaaahhh hahahahaha SAUSAGES aaahhahahahahahah love it - LOVE IT
battery gone down on phone o no better recharge

[BlodwynPig]

Bergerac and Crumpets
Fine Price and Wood Smoke

[Better Midlands]

Haddaway, Howard Jones, Take That, Deee-Lite, Irving Berlin, En Vogue, Jennifer Lopez, Debbie Harry and Johnny "Guitar" Watson consider rewrite.

[PlanktonSideburns]

ill be happy if im not bankrupted and evicted at the end of all this

[Better Midlands]

.

[imitationleather]

World's not been normal since they stopped Page 3.

[Better Midlands]

ill be happy if im not bankrupted and evicted at the end of all this

If everyone gets evicted can we not just move into each other's places?

A bit like halfway through Punchlines with Lennie Bennet.

[PlanktonSideburns]

If everyone gets evicted can we not just move into each other's places?

A bit like halfway through Punchlines with Lennie Bennet.

yea but mines really good. its got a view and drum machines and that

[idunnosomename]

ill be happy if im not bankrupted and evicted at the end of all this

no you wont

[PlanktonSideburns]

i will be

[Captain Z]

Covid don't hurt me

[Cloud]

Famously answered ages ago by Dr. Soran

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vs_jeYgiDNA

[Abnormal Palm]

Spunkin on Dogs

[idunnosomename]

i will be

such positivity

[Sebastian Cobb]

It's Ned's follow up to God Fodder innit?

[pancreas]

∇f

[wooders1978]

Economy is already bollocksed beyond repair so fuck it all

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Wanging it in from point blank range, one nil

[Abnormal Palm]

Malted Milk biscuits and a glass of ice cold milk, watching a fawn gambol across the meadow behind our house.

[Sony Walkman Prophecies]

I have lived in tower blocks in East London. I can handle anything.

[imitationleather]

I spent my first twenty years in an east London tower block. Wouldn't say I "handled" it exactly, but I was there.