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Forums => Comedy Chat => Topic started by: Keebleman on May 04, 2022, 08:12:19 PM

Title: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: Keebleman on May 04, 2022, 08:12:19 PM
Fifty minutes of archetypal 1973 light entertainment.  Dancing girls, guest stars, a pop group I had never heard of and lots and lots of really lame material.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6bV4kN8OjI
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: jamiefairlie on May 04, 2022, 08:37:31 PM
Ah that's great, cheers! I love this weird era where there's still a bit of psychedelic Carnaby Street hanging on but still to develop fully into mid-70s hairiness.  It's incredibly poor entertainment though, my god it's awful :-)
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: shiftwork2 on May 04, 2022, 09:01:54 PM
Compelling rubbish.  The clothes are fascinating I agree, I think my nan's telly had a knob to turn down the intensity of Mike's tie. Bernie's big comedy move appears to be that thing he does with his teeth.

Apocryphal probably and well-known certainly but in case you didn't know: Eric Morecambe was asked who Morecambe and Wise would have been if they hadn't got into comedy.  He replied 'Mike and Bernie Winters'
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: Keebleman on May 04, 2022, 09:07:49 PM
The other classic Mike and Bernie story has them appearing at the Glasgow Empire.  Mike goes on first and his song is greeted by a storm of grumpy indifference.  Then Bernie pokes his head through the curtains doing his "Eeeeehhhhh!" face and a voice comes from the stalls, "Oh Christ, there's two of 'em!"
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: Brundle-Fly on May 05, 2022, 02:32:43 PM
It's thin gruel, isn't it? My favourite bit was the tap dancing brothers and Mike's clarinet playing with Lovejoy Sasha Distel.
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: dissolute ocelot on May 05, 2022, 04:00:12 PM
Wow. The terribly 70s pop group was Design (http://www.designvocalgroup.com/): they do a medley of Day By Day (from Godspell/The Simpsons), My Sweet Lord, and Oh Happy Day. All a bit religious for my taste, but I guess the audience were a lot closer to God. According to Wikipedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Design_(band)), Design were on every 1970s light ent program you can name.

(https://i.imgur.com/7aBf9Kk.jpg)

Sasha Distel doing People Tree (made famous by Sammy Davis Jr). Unsure if that's Gallic cool or not giving a fuck. And Lionel Blair's tribute to classic Hollywood movie musicals. Then Mike pulls out his clarinet and it's like something from Anchorman.

I can only imagine an audience of 70 year old women going wild for this.
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: the science eel on May 05, 2022, 04:19:07 PM
Quote from: shiftwork2 on May 04, 2022, 09:01:54 PMApocryphal probably and well-known certainly but in case you didn't know: Eric Morecambe was asked who Morecambe and Wise would have been if they hadn't got into comedy.  He replied 'Mike and Bernie Winters'

I hadn't heard it, and that is absolutely fucking wonderful
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: poodlefaker on May 05, 2022, 04:27:31 PM
I can imagine Kenneth Williams sitting at home watching this with his mum and fuming, filling his diary with spleen, but he actually says BW was one of the most kind and warmhearted men he'd ever met.
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: Brundle-Fly on May 05, 2022, 08:35:34 PM
This is still Bernie Winters finest moment. "I'm fucking off now." he may just as well have said. Class.

Glebe posted this clip back in 2013 and it's still one of my favourite things ever.

WARNING: Del Boy being as creepy A F.

Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: kalowski on May 05, 2022, 10:21:25 PM
Quote from: shiftwork2 on May 04, 2022, 09:01:54 PMApocryphal probably and well-known certainly but in case you didn't know: Eric Morecambe was asked who Morecambe and Wise would have been if they hadn't got into comedy.  He replied 'Mike and Bernie Winters'
I've heard this, maybe even seen it.
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: shiftwork2 on May 05, 2022, 10:24:50 PM
Yeah, 'apocryphal probably' is almost certainly wrong on reflection.  You can just imagine Eric saying that.
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: jamiefairlie on May 05, 2022, 10:34:53 PM
Quote from: kalowski on May 05, 2022, 10:21:25 PMI've heard this, maybe even seen it.

I've seen it
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: George White on May 06, 2022, 08:14:20 AM
Astonishingly, Cubby Broccoli tried to make Bernie Winters a movie star.
Gave him a  four-film contract worth 250 grand in the late 50s, appeared in films for Broccoli's pre-Eon Warwick company, who were mostly a British annex of Columbia.
I'm not saying he could have been Bond, but he might have been Leiter, if things worked out differently.
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on May 06, 2022, 08:16:07 AM
Just started watching it and with the dancers at the beginning the camera zooms in on one of the women's bottoms.
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on May 06, 2022, 08:40:07 AM
Nice clarinet playing from Mike Winters but the pair are fascinating in how unfunny they are.
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on May 06, 2022, 08:49:34 AM
What about that song at the end, where all the guests assemble together to go " Eeeeeh" in reference to Bernie Winters ' trademark comic thing? That's what he did: beared his teeth and went "Eeeeeh" ( he first does it in the show in that song at the start to avoid saying " knickers"). He also had within his comic arsenal" the hilarious catchphrase " I'll smash your face in.". Fucking Hell.
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: pigamus on May 06, 2022, 08:54:44 AM
Quote from: George White on May 06, 2022, 08:14:20 AMI'm not saying he could have been Bond, but he might have been Leiter, if things worked out differently.

We all like our food mate, don't be a cunt
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: poodlefaker on May 06, 2022, 10:05:30 AM
When they split up Bernie was faced with the eternal problem of the solo double-act comic, which he solved brilliantly by replacing his brother with a dog. Gave him another ten years' work at least. David Walliams currently trying the same thing.
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: Jittlebags on May 06, 2022, 10:15:53 AM
Quote from: Fambo Number Mive on May 06, 2022, 08:40:07 AMNice clarinet playing from Mike Winters but the pair are fascinating in how unfunny they are.

TV's Clarinet Man.
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: Jittlebags on May 06, 2022, 10:20:44 AM
The Rise and Fall of Shnorbitz

https://www.comedy.co.uk/features/comedy_chronicles/schnorbitz/
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: gilbertharding on May 06, 2022, 10:39:07 AM
Someone in the comments reckons that they were related to Bernard Delfont - but nothing in the wider world even refers to that. It would explain a lot, if it was true...

Being born in 1969 in a house where ITV was hardly watched, I was completely unaware of Mike and Bernie Winters. So when I happened to see a lunchtime programme hosted by this odd bloke and a massive dog (I can't remember what the show was, but IIRC he just sat in a chair and talked - perhaps it was 'Bernie' (1978)), I was *baffled*. It definitely wasn't funny... I even asked my mum, who told me the bloke used to be a comedian - which didn't really help (did I say he wasn't funny?).
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: Ron Maels Moustache on May 06, 2022, 10:53:13 AM
One of the by-products of the Mike & Bernie split was Bernie's flop single "It's Bernie", which was supposed to sell the public on the idea of him as a solo performer, but has a somewhat sinister lyric which is very ambiguous about what Bernie is actually going to do for/to you:

Just relax now, leave it to me
Let it happen naturally
We'll have a party, just you wait and see!


Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: Fambo Number Mive on May 06, 2022, 10:59:31 AM
Footage of Mike and Bernie Winters performing to a load of people in bonnets, shown on BBC 4, attracts the following comments:

QuoteWhen the Mike and Bernie winter's show was on, we always looked forward to the adverts.

And the uploader replies with

QuoteTHANK YOU BRIAN FOR YOUR VIEW AND COMMENT.

Also:

QuoteBernie could pull the birds like nobody's business. Just look at 7:03 in the video and see where Bernie has just clocked some woman in the audience. Watch that quick flick of his head as Bernie smiles shyly at the woman and then turns his head away and then quickly turns back to have a second quick glance at the woman. No wonder Mike once said that Bernie had undone more bra straps than any man in history.

Women loved Bernie and
Bernie loved women.

Judge for yourself:

Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: Gurke and Hare on May 06, 2022, 04:19:05 PM
I like the bit where a hand comes in to stop the countdown clock falling over.
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: pigamus on May 06, 2022, 04:32:32 PM
Quote from: Gurke and Hare on May 06, 2022, 04:19:05 PMI like the bit where a hand comes in to stop the countdown clock falling over.

Have you said this just so I'll check and feel stupid? Because it hasn't worked.

Why do they count in with letters rather than numbers?
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: Gurke and Hare on May 06, 2022, 04:54:47 PM
No, I said it because it was literally the best bit of the whole thing. Well, maybe not, it's always good to see the ATV ident too.

That was really bad though, Mike might have less charisma than Syd.
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: DrGreggles on May 06, 2022, 05:11:21 PM
From a message board about memorable heckles

QuoteOne of the classics is Mike & Bernie Winters performing in Glasgow... their routine was for Mike would come on first and sing a few songs and tell a few gags before being joined by Bernie for the rest of the performance. On this night the audience is especially stone-faced and obviously not enjoying Mike's opening numbers, at which point Bernie comes on stage, to a call from the audience, "Oh fucking hell, there's two of them..."
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: Twonty Gostelow on May 06, 2022, 05:23:26 PM
Quote from: Keebleman on May 04, 2022, 09:07:49 PMThe other classic Mike and Bernie story has them appearing at the Glasgow Empire.  Mike goes on first and his song is greeted by a storm of grumpy indifference.  Then Bernie pokes his head through the curtains doing his "Eeeeehhhhh!" face and a voice comes from the stalls, "Oh Christ, there's two of 'em!"
Quote from: DrGreggles on May 06, 2022, 05:11:21 PMFrom a message board about memorable heckles

QuoteOne of the classics is Mike & Bernie Winters performing in Glasgow... their routine was for Mike would come on first and sing a few songs and tell a few gags before being joined by Bernie for the rest of the performance. On this night the audience is especially stone-faced and obviously not enjoying Mike's opening numbers, at which point Bernie comes on stage, to a call from the audience, "Oh fucking hell, there's two of them..."
Oh Christ, there's two of them.
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: pigamus on May 06, 2022, 05:47:04 PM
Quote from: Gurke and Hare on May 06, 2022, 04:54:47 PMNo, I said it because it was literally the best bit of the whole thing. Well, maybe not, it's always good to see the ATV ident too.

That was really bad though, Mike might have less charisma than Syd.

Ah, it's the bit before the ad break isn't it - I was watching the bit at the beginning.
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: Brundle-Fly on May 06, 2022, 07:00:28 PM
(https://imagizer.imageshack.com/img922/2404/3aubbo.jpg)

Was there a single light entertainer in the 1960s that didn't perform a silly comedy routine with The Fabs?
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: Brundle-Fly on May 06, 2022, 07:03:52 PM
Quote from: Ron Maels Moustache on May 06, 2022, 10:53:13 AMOne of the by-products of the Mike & Bernie split was Bernie's flop single "It's Bernie", which was supposed to sell the public on the idea of him as a solo performer, but has a somewhat sinister lyric which is very ambiguous about what Bernie is actually going to do for/to you:

Just relax now, leave it to me
Let it happen naturally
We'll have a party, just you wait and see!



Who the fuck bought that in 1978? People called Bernie?
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: kalowski on May 06, 2022, 08:35:06 PM
Is that the record that Danny Baker kept threatening to play on The Treehouse?
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: Jittlebags on May 07, 2022, 01:08:02 AM
Quote from: Brundle-Fly on May 06, 2022, 07:00:28 PM(https://imagizer.imageshack.com/img922/2404/3aubbo.jpg)

Was there a single light entertainer in the 1960s that didn't perform a silly comedy routine with The Fabs?

Eeeeeeeee...
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: Ballad of Ballard Berkley on May 07, 2022, 02:30:39 AM
Quote from: kalowski on May 06, 2022, 08:35:06 PMIs that the record that Danny Baker kept threatening to play on The Treehouse?

He played it often (and without any warning) on his BBC London afternoon show, and I swear I laughed every single time that drum intro hoved into earshot.

I just loved the way he'd play it in full and then move on to the next item without comment, as if there was nothing at all peculiar about having to endure this obscure record on a BBC radio station in 2008 or whenever.
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: prelektric on May 07, 2022, 02:57:01 AM
Quote from: Brundle-Fly on May 06, 2022, 07:03:52 PMWho the fuck bought that in 1978? People called Bernie?

My parents did. I have no idea to this day why. It was a thing that was lying there buried in my parents' "collection". Even they forgot.

What do we do now?

EDIT: I'd have rather found "Mouldy Old Dough" by Lieutenant Pigeon
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: PeterCornelius on May 07, 2022, 10:16:07 AM
Quote from: Jittlebags on May 07, 2022, 01:08:02 AMEeeeeeeee...

The Beatles' facial expressions are priceless. Compare this with their routine on the Morecambe and Wise Show or Scene at 6.30 with Ken Dodd.
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: Keebleman on May 07, 2022, 06:08:15 PM
Mike looks nothing like how I remembered him.  I thought he was simply a better looking Bernie, with far less overbite, but they don't look like brothers at all.
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: PammySpacek on May 08, 2022, 07:21:11 PM
Quote from: Gurke and Hare on May 06, 2022, 04:19:05 PMI like the bit where a hand comes in to stop the countdown clock falling over.
Quote from: pigamus on May 06, 2022, 05:47:04 PMAh, it's the bit before the ad break isn't it - I was watching the bit at the beginning.
That happens during the first of two ad breaks, for anyone else trying to find it - starting at about 12 mins 30 seconds. Upon the second and final ad break at 31 mins 27 seconds, it's being held up by someone out of fear of the whole thing smashing all over the floor again... only for some idiot to blithely wander past it. That might have been Bernie himself.


Quote from: pigamus on May 06, 2022, 04:32:32 PMWhy do they count in with letters rather than numbers?
I don't know, but after watching a lot of old British TV offcuts / outtakes / etc you soon learn that some ITV stations had really odd ways of doing things. Southern TV used to sync their clocks up to audio of the Speaking Clock, which feels really odd.


Quote from: Jittlebags on May 06, 2022, 10:20:44 AMThe Rise and Fall of Shnorbitz

https://www.comedy.co.uk/features/comedy_chronicles/schnorbitz/
This is great, btw. I grew up knowing Bernie Winters as the man with the dog, and never knew Mike Winters even existed until much later. Astonishing to see that the Schnorbitz "brand" continued right up to 2014, despite Bernie dying in 1991.
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: Glebe on May 10, 2022, 02:24:47 PM
The pair were featured in the 'Double Acts' episode of BBC series The Story of Life Entertainment. Some amusingly cheesy showbiz drama involved ("He's got this chick and it's gettin' serious."):

Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: famethrowa on May 13, 2022, 05:37:06 AM
Quote from: JamesThami on May 13, 2022, 02:09:37 AMmeasured his tower with a ruler.

Eeeeee!

(https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ssMYJ8kk5p4/Udmy1Gc5QUI/AAAAAAAAa3E/9qklOOBXVao/s1600/bernie+joan+1+wmt.jpg)
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: Lisa Jesusandmarychain on May 13, 2022, 07:19:06 AM
Quote from: Glebe on May 10, 2022, 02:24:47 PMThe pair were featured in the 'Double Acts' episode of BBC series The Story of Life Entertainment. Some amusingly cheesy showbiz drama involved ("He's got this chick and it's gettin' serious."):

Many thanks for putting this up, Glebe. A fascinating programme, but, fuck me, quite the cavalcade of stiffs on display. Within the first few minutes, all of the talking heads onscreen are current day corpses. Then fucking David Baddiel pops up.
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: shiftwork2 on June 07, 2022, 01:22:53 PM
Quote from: shiftwork2 on May 04, 2022, 09:01:54 PMApocryphal probably and well-known certainly but in case you didn't know: Eric Morecambe was asked who Morecambe and Wise would have been if they hadn't got into comedy.  He replied 'Mike and Bernie Winters'

Apologies for bumping the thread (and quoting my own post to boot) but I've just remembered this is mentioned by Reece Shearsmith's character in 'Bernie Clifton's Dressing Room'.  Almost certainly where I heard it.  Might be nice to know in case it was niggling you.  I would have preferred a primary source though...
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: Andy147 on June 07, 2022, 08:29:51 PM
Quote from: shiftwork2 on June 07, 2022, 01:22:53 PMApologies for bumping the thread (and quoting my own post to boot) but I've just remembered this is mentioned by Reece Shearsmith's character in 'Bernie Clifton's Dressing Room'.  Almost certainly where I heard it.  Might be nice to know in case it was niggling you.  I would have preferred a primary source though...

https://twitter.com/bbcarchive/status/1064891044821639170?lang=en-GB, about 40 seconds before the end.
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: Sarge on June 07, 2022, 08:57:35 PM
Quote from: shiftwork2 on May 04, 2022, 09:01:54 PMCompelling rubbish.  The clothes are fascinating I agree, I think my nan's telly had a knob to turn down the intensity of Mike's tie. Bernie's big comedy move appears to be that thing he does with his teeth.

Apocryphal probably and well-known certainly but in case you didn't know: Eric Morecambe was asked who Morecambe and Wise would have been if they hadn't got into comedy.  He replied 'Mike and Bernie Winters'
Quote from: shiftwork2 on May 04, 2022, 09:01:54 PMCompelling rubbish.  The clothes are fascinating I agree, I think my nan's telly had a knob to turn down the intensity of Mike's tie. Bernie's big comedy move appears to be that thing he does with his teeth.

Apocryphal probably and well-known certainly but in case you didn't know: Eric Morecambe was asked who Morecambe and Wise would have been if they hadn't got into comedy.  He replied 'Mike and Bernie Winters'
I spent the weekend with a showbiz family who knew Mike, Bernie, Eric and Ernie and pretty much every other 'pier' comedian and they said that this would have been said in the manner of Eric's 'Des O'Connor' put-downs. In real life they were all showbiz chums who had great affection for each other!
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: kalowski on June 07, 2022, 09:07:40 PM
Quote from: Andy147 on June 07, 2022, 08:29:51 PMhttps://twitter.com/bbcarchive/status/1064891044821639170?lang=en-GB, about 40 seconds before the end.
Superb!
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: shiftwork2 on June 07, 2022, 09:18:13 PM
Quote from: Andy147 on June 07, 2022, 08:29:51 PMhttps://twitter.com/bbcarchive/status/1064891044821639170?lang=en-GB, about 40 seconds before the end.

Wonderful, thank you.  Much gentler than the written words suggest.
Title: Re: Mike and Bernie Winters doing their thing
Post by: Twonty Gostelow on June 08, 2022, 01:00:50 AM
Quote from: Andy147 on June 07, 2022, 08:29:51 PMhttps://twitter.com/bbcarchive/status/1064891044821639170?lang=en-GB, about 40 seconds before the end.

ERNIE: We find it difficult to examine things intellectually, the whys and wherefores...
ERIC: Even the Morecambes and wherefores...

He was quick.