Marzipan ET Found

[Povidone]

Poorly made novelty confection in local news alert! APB General Bullshit:

Marzipan E.T. saved!

Actually quite a heartwarming story about a family making the correct decision to not eat a 40 year old lump of marzipan.

[Blumf]

Looks more like a pasty.

[Captain Z]

Inevitable:

[Glebe]

a fan of the hit movie and marzipan

Or 'marzifan' if you will!

[Povidone]

E.T. really was a grotesque little fucker wasn't he? I've always struggled to square people's reverence and emotional attachment to a film that, to my mind anyway, has a relentlessly queasy tone and centers around what appears to be a really distressing turd with googly eyes bothering some kids.

Inevitable:

Excellent

[GoblinAhFuckScary]

[Inspector Norse]

E.T. really was a grotesque little fucker wasn't he? I've always struggled to square people's reverence and emotional attachment to a film that, to my mind anyway, has a relentlessly queasy tone and centers around what appears to be a really distressing turd with googly eyes bothering some kids.

Little prick traumatised me as a kid. Think it wasn't so much ET himself as the bit where the men in hazmat suits come and put him in a tent and start probing him, but that was enough to make anything that reminded me of the film set me off: I remember visiting the Museum of Childhood in Sudbury and there was a big bloody model of him and I freaked out.

Wish they'd sliced the little fucker up for science.

[Glebe]

[Video Game Fan 2000]

"phone almond" am i right haha

[JamesTC]

Tim Lawes, from Propstore, which deals with film collectibles, said it was "a great story" but felt it was "sadly of very little commercial value".

Damn, my big slab of 40-year-old marzipan is worthless! WORTHLESS!

[Video Game Fan 2000]

why would you have an ET in your house unless you plan on getting small children drunk and making them kiss? Lock them up

[Fambo Number Mive]

Wonder what eating 40 year old marzipan does to your turds.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Wonder what eating 40 year old marzipan does to your turds.

makes your arsehole say "elliot"

[Replies From View]

Looks more like a pasty.

They said the same thing about David Jason, and how wrong were they, mate

[Replies From View]

First up, that's an article ostensibly about people constantly crying because of watching a film.  A pathetic display of perpetual weeping that is not contingent upon "having" a marzipan ET in operation.

But let's entertain the notion that a marzipan ET is actually the crux of this story.  Suddenly we have people seeping in at the sides to remark that it's "sadly" not a commercially valuable item.

Tim Lawes, from Propstore, which deals with film collectibles, said it was "a great story" but felt it was "sadly of very little commercial value".

Why "sadly"?  Whoever said anything about a production line of 40 year old marzipan shapes being a terrific moneyspinner?  Nobody did mate - that's on you for having a brain like that.  A shit brain, if I may be explicit!  You are a shit-brained cocko!

[Goldentony]

I would love to kick the marzipan ET up its arse as far it could go like fucking Socrates taking a pen

[TrenterPercenter]

Did people clock this bit

She said she first saw the film with her father at the St Albans Odeon as an eight-year-old and they both cried.

"I took him to see it in 2002, when it was rereleased, and we both cried again," she said.

Ms Duke also recalled how her late mother told her that when they visited Universal Studios in California, the couple went on the ride where you sit on bicycles with E.T. in its basket.

"My mum told us that he cried all the way round," she said. "He loved it so much."

[JamesTC]

I love the idea of there being this ET bike ride for toddlers and this 70-year-old rocks up demanding he rides it and then cries all the way around while bemused American children look on.

[Povidone]

"My mum told us that he cried all the way round," she said "fuck up you watery twat and let the kids on the ride"

[Replies From View]

He loved it so much he was blubbering all the way round, like a whale in an ET-themed sweet shop.

[TrenterPercenter]

Crying because he loved it so much? Or crying because he had allowed a Marzipan E.T. possessed with demonic soul of Pazuzu into his home?

YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL!

[Povidone]

If you stare into the marzipan crabs eyes of ET the marzipan crabs eyes of ET stare back.

Wonder what eating 40 year old marzipan does to your turds.

Funilly enough it makes your shit look exactly like ET...unless your shits already looked like ET, in which case they come out like Reices Pieces.

[Dex Sawash]

Marzipan is not even good when it is new

[Replies From View]

One of these would look wonderful at Marzipan Queen Elizabeth's upcoming funeral event.

[touchingcloth]

Poorly made novelty confection in local news alert! APB General Bullshit:

Marzipan E.T. saved!

Actually quite a heartwarming story about a family making the correct decision to not eat a 40 year old lump of marzipan.

That's not a poorly-made novelty marzipan E.T. It's a poorly-made novelty marzipan Alf.

[JamesTC]

Marzipan is not even good when it is new

One Christmas, we were cleaning up after the meal and somebody asked where the decorations were from the top of the uneaten Christmas cake, so they could put it back in the box for the next day. My Grandad proudly said he ate them as he loves marzipan. My family checked the box to find the decorations were made of plastic.

[JesusAndYourBush]

"phone almond" am i right haha

Of course you're right, you dirty old bollocks, of course you're fucking right!

[shoulders]

Why wasn't there a sequel with a pregnant ET? Clowns. Fucking clown cunts, shithouse rat fucks. Weasels.

[Replies From View]

Not sure why marzipan ET should be playing second fiddle to some helichocolatier.  Who's making the bicycles fly, hmm?

[Glebe]