Graham Linehan Episode XVIII: Help Me Elon Muskenobi, You're My Only Hope

[dead-ced-dead]

Ugh don't remind me of that photoshoot, I'm still bitter that my "Hurrah for the Beigeshirts" joke didn't get any love :(

I must have missed that joke. It's a good line.

[Ex_GC]

I missed it too, it's brilliant

[Rich Uncle Skeleton]

+1

[wrec]

About the leg thing, I used to do that in high school. I'm not sure why. I think it stopped after I went on antidepressants; they put paid to a lot of strange tics and depressive thoughts I had as a teenager, which I noticed when I had to come off them for a bit. Maybe BC could benefit from some treatment.

Didn't mean to be ableist or insensitive by bringing this up of course. I was prone to that as a teenager which in my case I think was to do with being impatient and uncomfortable in situations where I was required to sit and be intensely bored instead of slouching against a wall smoking (but probably not entirely unconnected to minor self-harming impulses). The most prominent occasion of BC's jitters was that Newsnight appearance, so *not comparing an embattled minority to Nazis on national tv* would be high on the list of preventative actions.

[petril]

Do we need a Pinky and the Brain Photoshop with him and Arty?

Arty: what are we going to do Glinner?
Glinner: same thing we do every night Arty, plan how to peak the world

they're Pinky, and Glinner and the Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain

[chip]

I find myself jiggling my leg all the time; I assumed it was just another random stick for this thread to beat Linehan with.

Admittedly, if I was being interviewed on Newsnight I would certainly try to appear as physically stable as possible.

[wrec]

they're Pinky, and Glinner and the Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain

One of them says "penis"
The other is Graham
To prove their terfy worth
They'll peak the captured Earth

[shoulders]

Although shaky leg syndrome adds to the sense of him being a deranged shut-in that sees very little daylight, pretty much all the other data available firmly reinforces that anyway... I always felt it was inappropriate to focus on the shaky leg in the way people did when there's a tonne of credible ammunition we can use without needing to get our hands dirty.

I'm sure there are hundreds of members of this forum that have similar so come on, we're supposed to be better than that.

[Better Midlands]

[madhair60]

fucking brain diseased maniac

[Barry Admin]

Although shaky leg syndrome adds to the sense of him being a deranged shut-in that sees very little daylight, pretty much all the other data available firmly reinforces that anyway... I always felt it was inappropriate to focus on the shaky leg in the way people did when there's a tonne of credible ammunition we can use without needing to get our hands dirty.

I'm sure there are hundreds of members of this forum that have similar so come on, we're supposed to be better than that.

Fine for you to mock agoraphobia though yeah?

[JamesTC]

"Our top story this evening, somebody has been banned from Twitter. That is all the news. We now return to our repeat of Count Arthur Strong"

[Better Midlands]

Daiy Mail are waiting for JKR to tweet about it before they publish.

[dead-ced-dead]

INT. 1950s PRESS ROOM - DAY

SMITTY (early 30s, handsome, granite jawed) sits at his desk, furiously CLACKING away at his typewriter. Cigarette permanently hanging from his lips, on his ninth cup of cheap newsroom coffee of the morning.

The phone RINGS. He answers it and cradles the phone in his neck, his hands still busy CLACKING at the keys

 SMITTY
Chief... You got a scoop... Banned from Twitter? I report the NEWS chief, not kiddy playground squabbles.

CHIEF (O.S)
SMIIIITTTTTY! MY OFFICE NOW!

SMITTY
(sighs)
Then why'd ya call in the first place?

Smitty slams the phone down, reluctantly gets up and heads to the Chief's glass office.

INT. CHIEF'S OFFICE

CHIEF (mid 50s, grouchy) slams his fist on his desk. SMITTY sits adjacent to him, his feet on CHIEF'S desk. He lights another cigarette.

SMITTY
What gives Chief?

CHIEF
You been makin' a monkey outta me, Smitty. I got the big scoop! The whole balla' wax, the big kahuna. We got the story of the century.
(suddenly angry)
AND YOU WANNA BLOW IT OFF TO WRITE ABOUT...

SMITTY
Super Nazis makin' base on the moon.

CHIEF
You're a loose cannon Smit. A renegade. You dance to the beat of your own drum, but if you don't write about this Twitter piece, the only newspaper you'll be seein' is the one wrap fish in when you ask, "one portion of fries or two"

Inexplicably, Smitty is lighting ANOTHER cigarette.

SMITTY
Who is this broad that Twitter gave the ol' heave ho? You sweet on her, Chief?

CHIEF
She was at...
(gulps)
J.K. Rowling's lunch.

Smitty's mouth opens, cigarette falling from his lips and onto his lap.

SMITTY
My god!




I have no idea where I was going with this. Sorry.

[bgmnts]

I ask this with the utmost sincerity:

Do these people genuinely think Twitter is a public forum and represents actual real life? Just in terms of being banned etc.

They seem so convinced that being banned for breaking a corporate entity's terms and conditions actually means real life oppression and i'm confused.

[Ex_GC]

They sincerely believe that Twitter is overrun by trans employees and 'misogynists' who are all trying to silence gender critical women

[Sonny_Jim]

Rowling lunch.  ROFL as the kids say.  It's like the signing of the magna carta to him.

Also, I'm sure that account got banned for just stating facts.  Twitter always bans you just for stating facts.

Do these people genuinely think Twitter is a public forum

Yes, they do.  They think that everyone has a right to use it as it's a 'public square' or some shit.  Desperately trying to convince people that 'everybody on the planet uses it' even though it's now 9th, below Reddit and above LinkedIn.

[dead-ced-dead]

They sincerely believe that Twitter is overrun by trans employees and 'misogynists' who are all trying to silence gender critical women

But even if it is... who cares? That's something that kills me about this, if they think Twitter is as overrun as they claim, why go back? Why not fob it off?

It's because they love getting into fights.

[JaDanketies]

They seem so convinced that being banned for breaking a corporate entity's terms and conditions actually means real life oppression and i'm confused.

It's striking how, when I was about 12 or 13, I would've been banned from an internet website, and would've messaged the moderators something along the lines of "free speech!!"

And a moderator - who was probably 17 or 18 - would've replied to me - probably snarkily - and explained to me in a way that I immediately understood that free speech does not apply to private platforms.

Graham Linehan is 54.

[Sonny_Jim]

He actually brought it up during his House of Lords committee hearing:

Lord McInnes of Kilwinning: There is obviously a tension between what is a public square and what is a business. How do you feel the balance should be, in terms of policy and appeal process, between the two?

Bananacunt: It just needs to be absolutely clear. This is not my statement, but this is one tweet. The account had 10,000 followers and this was the tweet it was banned for. It was a reply to someone in a conversation and it said, "Male and female are biological sexes. We are talking specifically about biological sex and not gender. And I don't know any actual women who are offended by the word 'female'. Some men who want to be thought of as women get mad about being reminded biological sex is real". That woman had 10,000 followers and has been banned for life. When people are actually writing, they do not know what will get them banned or not. It seems clear to us that, when certain feminist accounts get over a certain number, they become a target. They are often removed, one way or another. It is totally opaque and they can do whatever they like.

Lord McInnes of Kilwinning: I suppose, if it is purely a private business, as opposed to a public square, it is capable of doing that.

Graham knows that the 'but mah public square! Gimme more twitter!' argument is a complete no-goer, for reasons mentioned up thread.  It's because Twitter has that sweet, sweet algorithm that feeds peoples drama itch.

[frajer]

Rowling lunch.  ROFL as the kids say.  It's like the signing of the magna carta to him.

Yeah big laugh at the Rowling lunch.

"Oh wow, she attended?!
...
But I assume she at least acknowledged it?
...
She hasn't ever spoken to you...?"

[Buttered Ghost]

Where the fuck is his neck? It looks like someone's enlarged his head for a laugh. He looks photoshopped into the picture, there's no shadows at all.

You know, I think he might actually be the hardest person on the planet to parody. Pretty much anything and everything you could possibly think about, he's probably already done or about to do. The bananas never stop growing.

[Ex_GC]

But even if it is... who cares? That's something that kills me about this, if they think Twitter is as overrun as they claim, why go back? Why not fob it off?

It's because they love getting into fights.

And they love adding to the 'oppression' and 'they're trying to silence us!' narrative

[NeaX]

Yeah big laugh at the Rowling lunch.

"Oh wow, she attended?!
...
But I assume she at least acknowledged it?
...
She hasn't ever spoken to you...?"

Maybe they ate filled rowls from a sandwich shop, that's close enough.

[bgmnts]

[retsuza]

We can all agree the Rowling Lunch was a monumentous and important occasion and can I please please go next time Jo I'll be on my best behaviour

[NeaX]

JK Rowling Lunch

[Sonny_Jim]

Got to hand it to the Gary Glinner writers, the whole 'will she/won't she' acknowledge his existence keeps the series fresh.  Much like Moonlighting, when you get them together all the magic will vanish.

[Ex_GC]

GCs: it was just a lunch. Not political or making a statement in any way! The misogynists are annoyed women dared to meet for lunch without permission!

Also GCs: calling it the Rowling lunch as if it's a momentous occasion

[Better Midlands]

Also GCs: calling it the Rowling lunch as if it's a momentous occasion

They'll start capitalising the 'L' soon.