A serial lawbreaking liar - Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson scandal thread 2

[Fambo Number Mive]

Michael Howard has called for Johnson to resign.

[kittens]

enormous foam michael howard wheeled onstage by ed davey

[Pink Gregory]

Michael Howard has called for Johnson to resign.

I am old enough to say - lol

[poodlefaker]

There's the door Bunter, hope it doesn't hit you on the botty on the way out!

[Butchers Blind]

Michael Howard has called for Johnson to resign.

Can't hear him, too busy in Rwanda sorting out those pesky refugees.

[monkfromhavana]

A gurning Lib Dem holding up pints of bitter "It's last orders for Boris!"

With a big sign above their head saying "The Last Chance Saloon".

[JamesTC]

Two men, believed to be Lib Dem politicians, seen carrying an oversized wholemeal loaf in the shape of Boris Johnson in the Tiverton and Honiton area.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Ed Davy dressed as Boris Johnson, falling through a bar with a banner with "Political Dignity" above it.

And a Lib Dem stand nearby and makes a face.

[TrenterPercenter]

I thought Ed Davey came across quite well early today






.....for a reanimated potato.

[frajer]

"Boris these are your marching orders, I have given them to you.

Boris, these are your marching orders, I have given them to you!

 He's not taking them... he's not taken them... he's gone. What am I meant to do with an eight-foot high set of marching orders?"

[kittens]

boris johnson thinks he is playing monopoly, or chess, and holding all the cards, or the pieces as it were, but on the face of the matter it is plain as day that the right honourable gentleman is two cheeses short of a wheel, by which i refer of course to the famous Hasbro board game mouse trap, obeying standard rules, and he's in the little zone, right, at the end of it, where, when the contraption has been completed through play, the cage kind of descends down the rickety pole and sort of traps him, denoting that he has lost it, the vote, represented here by the game mouse trap. game over.

ed davey triggers a plastic cage to slowly descend onto an enormous blonde mouse labelled "boris"

[idunnosomename]

boris johnson!

[Cold Meat Platter]

Spoiler alert

bunter

[close]

[elliszeroed]

Boris Johnnson regenerates into Chuka Ummana.

[kittens]

boris johnson seems to think he is bronco henry. well, let me tell you, the prime minister did not think he'd have to contend with the power of this dog!

blanket is pulled back to reveal an enormous foam jane campion 

[TrenterPercenter]

The Prime Minister seems to feel that he can hold this great country as hostage and treat the public with distain! That is why I call on MPs of all sides to come together and take strength from this poem I've written...

Oh! Prime Minster, you gave a good show!
But now we think, it is time, for you, to go
Please don't be slow, Prime Minster
Don't stub your toe, Prime Minister
You fill us with woe, Prime Minister
Prime Minister, please go

[Captain Z]

The writing's on the door

[Blumf]

wheeling an enormous plastic fruit salad onto the stage and saying "sorry mr Johnson, it's time to admit you are wet fruit"

Putting a bit of wool and some googly eyes on an apricot seed whilst shouting "Boris is the pits!"

[Fambo Number Mive]

Standing in front of the media before turning round, pulling down your trousers and underpants to reveal your arse with an eye drawn on each buttcreek, doing a poo while squeezing your buttocks to "make them talk", shouting, "I'm Boris and I'm full of shit", all the centerists clap and say how brave you are as you are led away.

[idunnosomename]

Dressed as Boris Johnson you stick your dick in a dog turd and yell "Boris Johnson is fucking shit!!" and LedByDonkeys record it and project it onto Buckingham Palace

[Ferris]

Has anyone done a kerplunk or hungry hungry hippos one yet?

[Ferris]

No wait; JENGA!

[frajer]

Boris it is you who is the Weakest Link goodbye!!

[imitationleather]

Whomever smelt it dealt it, Boris!

[Ferris]

Boris it is you who is the Weakest Link goodbye!!

Shit, that's better than mine.

[Ferris]

Could do something about Billy Bunter? Like "you are going to detention now Billy Bunter!!"

I don't know anything about Billy bunter.

[frajer]

Shit, that's better than mine.

Heh! If it helps it's a shameless steal from the underrated Psychoville where Steve Pemberton solemnly laments "He always was the weakest link goodbye" without any pause for punctuation. It pops into my head a lot.

[Ferris]

It's too late, I've already given up on the Boris mirth-making. The billy bunter material was a last desperate throw of the dice.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

he's departed downing street and joined the invisible bullingdon club

this is an ex prime minister!

[Blumf]

anelectorialliabilitycalledborissayswhat!