Tip jar

If you like CaB and wish to support it, you can use PayPal or KoFi. Thank you, and I hope you continue to enjoy the site - Neil.

Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Support CaB

Recent

Welcome to Cook'd and Bomb'd. Please login or sign up.

March 29, 2024, 08:35:52 AM

Login with username, password and session length

A serial lawbreaking liar - Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson scandal thread 2

Started by Fambo Number Mive, April 19, 2022, 01:46:53 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Replies From View

Quote from: kittens on June 24, 2022, 01:39:16 PMmr prime minister, how do you respond to rumours that two men stood grinning in front of some signs and quite literally showed you the door?

"for quite literally the first time in my life i am quite literally speechless after being quite literally shown the door by two men stood grinning in front of some signs"

"The door had written on it that someone needed to show it to me, even though they already were."

Replies From View

Quote from: idunnosomename on June 24, 2022, 01:39:42 PMThey could have got a pair of curtains and written "It's curtains for Boris!"

Or one of them could have dressed up as a massive vulva and the other as a giant cock with "It's time to get this cunt fucked!" written on the shaft

Or dressed up as Wilma Flintstone with big cartoon hands clutching her grotesque balloon breasts, below a sign saying "I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN"

and behind the door, somebody cos-playing as David Tennant holding up a sign with "YOU JUST SAID IT"

Replies From View



Video Game Fan 2000

"i don't believe it!" - michael howard noticing that Boris Johnson is still leader of the conservative party

Butchers Blind

In his car, driving down the motorway, but it is finished being built. Looks like you've come to the end of the road, Boris.

frajer


Video Game Fan 2000

according to the Guardian, Boris Johnson (prime minister of England) crashed into a carpenters van and a whole lot of varnish and wax fell on him. He's well and truly finished!

JamesTC

No Prime Minister has had to face the problems he has since World War 11!!!1!!

Cerys


Ferris

A giant inflatable boris johnson holding an empty jar of thyme in one hand and a recipe that specifically requires thyme in the other hand, and a caption that says boris johnson you have run out of "thyme"!!

frajer

I was watching an episode of Scrapheap Challenge, must have been a brand new one, and guess who was in the background? That's right your friend and mine Bojoris Johnson, literally on the scrapheap.

Cold Meat Platter


Proactive

Ed Daveys dressed up as Hans Molman. "I *wasn't* saying 'Boo-ris' , and neither, it seems, were the good people of Tiverton. I say you've done your last elaborate couch gag, Prime Minister. No more Cowabunga-bunga lockdown parties, if you will. D'OH!"


Fambo Number Mive

QuoteBoris Johnson's attempt to unseat a Labour peer from the role of the Commonwealth secretary general has failed, in another blow to his credibility.

No 10 had been working behind the scenes for nearly two years to remove Patricia Scotland, claiming that she had failed to modernise the institution after nearly six years in the job.

A meeting deciding whether to replace Lady Scotland with Jamaica's foreign minister, Kamina Johnson Smith, who was supported by the UK government, ran over by several hours as leaders struggled to reach a verdict.

But after several hours, it was confirmed that Johnson Smith had lost and Scotland was reappointed for two more years. The next election will be in 2024...

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/jun/24/boris-johnson-fails-to-oust-lady-scotland-from-commonwealth-role

kalowski


Proactive

Ed Daveys dressed up as Begbie throws a pint over a ledge. "Boris has been glassed, and nobody leaves till we find the cunt what did it. Only joking it was me Ed Daveys all along! Seriously though, I say the honourable gentleman is a dead baby on a ceiling that turns its head all around, but then actually turns back round again in disgust when he sees this election result. You've truly had your last smack high prime minister, by which on fact I mean election success like a metaphor"

Crowd goes absolutely mental.

Proactive

Do you like apples, Prime Minister? Well how do you like THEM apples? *Hands boris a big bag of apples with "Bad election results" written on it*

Dressed up like Matt Damon.

The crowd is less enthralled with each passing brilliant joke Ed Daveys has made but it won't stop me him.

Video Game Fan 2000

boris
boris johnson
his popularity was a mystery

after
losing some
bi elections
he'll face the wraith of his MPs

Alberon

Ed Davey in full cenobite fetish outfit. "I have such sights to show you, Boris."

Anonymous Lib Dem. "I don't get it."

"No, trust me. It's great! Where did I put the nipple clamps?"

JamesTC




idunnosomename

The Brexit party didnt stand against conservative incumbents in leave voting seats in 2019

God she is thick. Not that she believes it's true, but that she can so openly lie and not feel bad about it.

Uncle TechTip

How can the Attorney General adopt such a political position anyway.

Fambo Number Mive

The Mirror reports:

QuoteBoris Johnson planned to build a £150,000 treehouse for his son Wilf at Chequers, it has been reported.

The prime minister and his wife Carrie wanted to build the treehouse during autumn 2020 but had to pull the plug after it raised security concerns.

The treehouse's design included bulletproof glass but could be seen by the roadside, prompting police to warn the PM about the risks involved.

There were discussions about having Lord Brownlow, a Tory donor ranked the 521st richest person in the UK last year, fund the project, with plans for the treehouse drawn up for the country retreat, it has been reported...

What a man of the people.

Also, given Johnson does not own Chequers and it is a "grace and favour" home, what right does he have to try to have a £150,000 treehouse built?

JamesTC

His son's treehouse would cost twice as much as my three-bedroom house.

Sherman Krank

Quote from: Fatso McSpaffer"I have to distinguish between criticism that really matters and criticism that doesn't."

People whose criticism really matters
Cabinet ministers who can oust him by resigning en masse.
Anyone who pays his bills or gives him free money on at least a semi-regular basis.

People whose criticism doesn't matter
Literally everyone else.

idunnosomename

jesus christ, want to do "last straw for old Boris!!" but that is really bad. and its clearly so he can imprison his son in a bullet-proof glass bubble at the end of the garden because he doesn't like him.