A serial lawbreaking liar - Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson scandal thread 2

[Sebastian Cobb]

Incredible graphs in The Times.

[Fambo Number Mive]

The poll graphic also contradicts the information in the grey box above it. 60% of Tory voters want Johnson to resign, not 36%.

HOC to vote on breaching international law today.

[Paul Calf]

He'd only spend it on Russian yachts and cocaine.

Bung Boris a Bob for Bomba Blow

Bunga Bob for Bunga Bunga

[Fambo Number Mive]

Remember the hairdresser who made a portrait of Boris Johnson out of clients' hair? Wonder if she is still a fan on him.

Kier Starmar probably hopes she will make a portrait of him out of people's hair.

[idunnosomename]

Only if she trims pubes

[Ferris]

Incredible graphs in The Times.

Fair play that's impressively dodgy.

[idunnosomename]

I think its an error tbh. Editorially the times would love billy "pfeffel" bunter to fuck off now hes served the populist purpose of doing a brexit

[Fambo Number Mive]

Footage from 2021 of Johnson pretending to go for a jog:

https://twitter.com/KarlTurnerMP/status/1541126831277019137

[frajer]

Footage from 2021 of Johnson pretending to go for a jog:

https://twitter.com/KarlTurnerMP/status/1541126831277019137

Also just out of shot: the private plane he caught to get to his car.

[idunnosomename]

Bloatus Jogson

[Buelligan]

He's like Savile.

[Ferris]

Footage from 2021 of Johnson pretending to go for a jog:

https://twitter.com/KarlTurnerMP/status/1541126831277019137

The media toothlessly acquiesces to his charade by not taking any photos until after he's jogged round the car.

[Fambo Number Mive]

LOLBORIS

[frajer]

God he's a legend. Athletic, bawdy, says it like it is. I'd love to go for a pint with him. Imagine if the pint cost £2.69, the entire pub would be just pissing itself. You'd see the glint in his eye when the bar staff said "£2.69" and you'd just void your bladder through mirth.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Looks like The Times have fixed their graphic:



Eddie Reeves, the Tories' leader on Oxfordshire County Council, has called for Johnson to go.

BBC Radio Oxford asked all of Oxfordshire's four Conservative MPs to discuss Mr Johnson's future following their party's by-election defeats in Wakefield and Tiverton and Honiton. All declined or failed to respond.

[monkfromhavana]

As opposed to "Children who voted Conservative in 2019".

[idunnosomename]

Love how the donors might stop giving the party money because hes an unfunny cunt

Bet he smells too

[TrenterPercenter]

Not sure if people heard about the house that exploded in Birmingham last night, but there are rumours (only rumours at the moment but logical at least) that it was due to a trend of gas meters being tampered with due to rising fuel costs.

[Psybro]

JOHNSON: It's just a damn popularity contest with you donors!
DORRIES: Now look what you've done you little FREAKS!

[JamesTC]

69!

[Fambo Number Mive]

"How many more years do you hope to be Prime Minister for Mr Boris?"

"69!"

"Hahha, you are so funny, please can I be your chief of staff one day"

[frajer]

"Prime Minister Bunter, what is your favourite number bus?"

"69!"

"Haha, very good."

"I simply told myself you had asked 'what is my favourite number plane' as buses are for scumbag plebs."

"Wonderful."

[lipsink]

They suddenly realise now that he's not funny?

[idunnosomename]

Pay £40,000 to have dinner with him and he just spends the whole time making farting noises by putting his hand under his armpit

[frajer]

God he'd be a sight sat across the table from you. Having dinner with a coke-bloated corpse crossed with a thatched cottage.

[Huxleys Babkins]

God he'd be a sight sat across the table from you. Having dinner with a coke-bloated corpse crossed with a thatched cottage.

If you think that's bad, imagine having to do a 69 with him. "This is fine" thinks Carrie through tears, his hanging gut swinging and hitting her in the chin, the thought of the inheritance/divorce the only thing stopping her downstairs from sealing up forever.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Meanwhile I see FBPE favourite John Major is still a tosser: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-6192998

Former prime minister Sir John Major has described the contaminated blood scandal as "incredibly bad luck", drawing gasps from families watching him give evidence under oath to the public inquiry into the disaster.

Up to 30,000 people contracted HIV and hepatitis C in the 1970s and 80s after being given blood treatments or transfusions on the NHS.

Thousands have since died.

Sir John later apologised for his choice of language...

[Video Game Fan 2000]

a coke-bloated corpse crossed with a thatched cottage.

 he really does look like a sculptural interpretation of a middle eight from a Be Here Now song

the man is just a bag of himself

[JamesTC]

Hearing rumours that Big Borno is tanking the party on purpose in the hope that the majority is cut down a few further.

He's hoping to be able to walk into parliament and say to Storming Starmer that he is facing the leader of the party with the majority of...

Spoiler alert

69!

[close]

Reelection in the bag.

[Buelligan]

I'm going to punch you so hard.