Cricket 2021: Paedoph with the England test team

[iamcoop]

RIP Joe Root's bat and ball bongo.

Not bothered who replaces him as long as it's not Stokes.

Hope Joe enjoys his retirement in a care home.

[Thursday]

They're going to pick someone who's not a good captain now but that they hope will be in 4 years time.

[iamcoop]

Coach: Langer
Captain: Paed Crawley

[Harry Badger]

A relaxed and confident Joe Root, with a full and luxuriant beard, smoking a pipe and wearing a velvet dressing gown, awaits the arrival of his adult wife for a night of loving consensual intercourse.

[rjd2]

 looked at Skybet, Stokes the overwhelming fav, Broad 2nd fav and Billings third fav.

The golden years when Chris Read was been speculated as England captain when Cook was struggling.

[Harry Badger]

I would have thought this is the first time since Gooch quit that there has been genuine doubt (at least in my own mind) over who will take over permanantly. I am hoping there are non-paed voices within the ECB cautioning against saddling Stokes with the job.

[Pranet]

God I hope it isn't Stokes. He will disintegrate.

[mattyc]

Given that Joe Root praised England's supporters, it would have been nice if his resignation statement had show some respect to "the best fans in the world" and acknowledged recent disappointing performances. I like Joe Root and I wish him well, but it's not just the strain on him personally that led to him resigning, it's the terrible results over the last year.

[gilbertharding]

Got to be said, taking several months to resign is pretty typical of his captaincy, really.

[Thursday]

Root "Eager to show he's best man for the job, despite resignation."

[Harry Badger]

Got to be said, taking several months to resign is pretty typical of his captaincy, really.

Fucking lol.

I can remember England captains resigning immediately after a match then doing a full press conference.

[shoulders]

God I hope it isn't Stokes. He will disintegrate.

Also it would basically the same leadership group with the roles switched. There needs to be a new leadership group and led by someone who is injured less.

I would say Broad has been captain, so give him a year in charge and wait to see if someone in the batting ranks steps forward.

The fact Bairstow isn't even talked about must mean he is a total head the ball.

[Inspector Norse]

Billings third fav.

Can't even make a joke out of this any more.

If they're going to go down the Brearley "pick someone for their captaincy ability alone" then do it properly, not a guy who doesn't play red ball cricket just because he's nominally county captain when not carrying drinks for England or averaging 15 in the IPL. Will Rhodes maybe, has a decent record and won the Championship last year.
Or yes give it Broad or even Burns for a year or two and see how a younger captain like Haines at Sussex gets on.

[Pranet]

Mad game at Somerset. Essex ended up winning by one wicket. Craig Overton who looks so toothless in tests got 13 wickets.

[iamcoop]

The one thing this test side have done consistently is make the worst possible decisions at every step of the way, so the smart money will be on Stokes.

[badaids]

Rob Ork on his confirmation as the ECB's director or cricket, despite no experience or track record of any kind in sports administration:

'Meat's back on the menu boys!  Can I eat their legses? They don't need their legses!'

[Satchmo Distel]

It means Stokes will definitely be offered the captaincy.

[Inspector Norse]

https://www.espncricinfo.com/story/positive-cricket-and-australian-coaches-how-rob-key-s-vision-for-england-reboot-might-look-1311348

Desolation.

[Inspector Norse]

In other news, the IPL is a load of shit but bloody hell, Jos Buttler.

[badaids]

https://www.espncricinfo.com/story/positive-cricket-and-australian-coaches-how-rob-key-s-vision-for-england-reboot-might-look-1311348

Desolation.

Ork's appointment is likely to be a disaster the England, but the best thing that could have happened to this thread.

[Thursday]

Yeah everything he's saying there sounds like the worst possible thing for England right now. Looking forward to it.

[Kankurette]

At least Root will be allowed near schools now.

[robhug]

Rob Key's tenure is going to be compulsive viewing

[iamcoop]

He's got one of the biggest foreheads in the business so it's shaping up to be a massive summer for English cricket.

[shoulders]

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2022/apr/20/why-studying-england-winloss-ratio-can-bring-selectors-some-clarity-spin-cricket

A rather pointless piece of shit.

[Thursday]

I love to looks at stats devoid of context and come to conclusions.

[Inspector Norse]

In other news, the IPL is a load of shit but bloody hell, Jos Buttler.

And again. It's hard to draw any real conclusions from T20 but the man is in obscene form. Nearly twice as many IPL runs as any other player, and he's got three centuries while the rest have mustered one between them.

[shoulders]

Perform for England or fuck off

Not singling him out here, that goes for everyone

Even non English cricketers

[Inspector Norse]

Yeah looking forward to England deciding that this means he's ready for a test recall so his form and confidence are eroded just in time for the World Cup.

[Inspector Norse]

Quite a lot of double centuries being scored in the Championship, including one for disco sensation Josh Bohannon just days after a couple of articles bigging him up for England.

Shan Masood has two in as many games for Derbyshire, who also managed to collapse from 504/4 to 531 all out.