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The Last CaB post that made you GUFFAW: HAHALLOWEEN III: Shriekin’ of the Witch

Started by The Mollusk, August 23, 2021, 07:16:40 AM

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Zero Gravitas

Dex Sawash


Paul Calf

non capisco


Rich Uncle Skeleton

Rich Uncle Skeleton



Greg Torso

Quote from: non capisco on May 12, 2022, 11:51:00 PMBenny from ABBA is one of the few celebrities I have ever hallucinated, in this case due to food poisoning. It was him in the room playing Dancing Queen on his piano, winking and singing 'Time to be sick again!' to the DANANG-NANANG-NANANG frill. He shares that honour with Darnell the albino bloke from Big Brother series 9 and Bez from Happy Mondays with a sweeping lizard-like tail (both sleep paralysis)

Famous Mortimer


Some delightfully mundane zingers in the Uncanny Lookalikes thread:

Quote from: Clatty McCutcheon on May 12, 2022, 07:42:29 PMYears ago there was a taxi driver in my home town who was the spitting image of the King from a set of playing cards - specifically the King of Spades design that you get in a lot of packs.

Just imagine the King of Spades behind the wheel of a burgundy-coloured Ford Sierra and you've basically seen this guy for yourself.

Quote from: non capisco on May 13, 2022, 10:36:27 AMI've had a few supposed doppelgangers over the years. When I moved to the Penge area 15 years ago I was forever being greeted by people who thought I was some character who went by the name of Cheeky D. The guy behind the counter in the first shop I went in shook his head indulgently and said "Oh, Cheeky D!" A few days afterwards a whole carload of youths shouted "Cheeky D!" at me. A woman on her way out of a pub when I was on my way in told me "You're not as funny as you think you are, you know". At first I thought she might post on here but she then muttered "Fucking Cheeky D, man." It died out over the years until a brief resurgence when a little kid in the doorway of Pizza Mania on Maple Road wagged his finger at me and went "Cheeky Deeeeeeeeeeee!". The little kid didn't look old enough to have been knocking about during the original era of Cheeky D so I can only imagine this fucker is still about, or was three years ago. He seems to inspire a varied set of reactions in people.

Quote from: Replies From View on May 13, 2022, 12:23:16 PMI once saw a baby in a pram who looked like Mr Muscle.

non capisco

Cheers flote. My favourite from that thread was the schoolkid who looked like the Midlands Bank griffin.


Quote from: non capisco on May 14, 2022, 12:01:38 PMCheers flote. My favourite from that thread was the schoolkid who looked like the Midlands Bank griffin.

He still does! I bumped into him about ten years ago in a pub. Probably the first time since we left school. The griffin seems to have vanished though as indeed has the bank. I bet he's quite pleased about that.


non capisco always knocks it out of the park with his recollections. I'm not going to forget the ABBA hallucinations in a hurry.

non capisco

Cheers Canadagoose. The addendum to that story is when the food poisoning had died down a bit and I felt hungry again I did what any howlingly stupid 14 year old boy would and gobbled a load of Gino Ginelli ice cream out of the tub from the freezer. Sadly the malady had not passed and that came straight back up as cold as it had gone down. I was no longer ill enough to experience him as a solid visual hallucination but the essence of Benny was still there, filling my mind with his pragmatic finger wagging Swedish reprimands. My essence felt split between half me and half Benny. Funnily enough when my friend had food poisoning they had a similar experience with a gently mocking hallucination of Lou 'Mambo No. 5' Bega.


Quote from: Poobum on May 14, 2022, 10:31:13 PMIs Mika who Jimmy Carr is trying to look like with all the surgery? Is he planning to usurp him?

non capisco

imitationleather played a consistent blinder throughout this year's Eurovision thread. sevendaughters has to take plaudits for their description of the Lithuanian entry as "sexy Peter Beardsley". Amazing.

Rich Uncle Skeleton

Quote from: imitationleather on May 14, 2022, 11:12:57 PMRylan and Jimmy White better get working on their presenting patter for '23
Quote from: badaids on May 14, 2022, 11:14:04 PMI bet you Corden would stuck his snout in somewhere.
Quote from: imitationleather on May 14, 2022, 11:16:54 PMHopefully a really aggressive terminal illness will save us from that.

Quote from: Icehaven on May 15, 2022, 09:14:43 AMJust also remembered one of the art teachers accidentally ran over his own daughter and she died, and for some reason this made him find God.

Quote from: pigamus on May 15, 2022, 12:24:23 PMThat's some satnav the fella had there




Twit 2's salvo of house fucking slogans in the Gas This Van Of Cunts thread


Revisting the Tenet thread after regrettably watching Tenet, this post struck me in its absolute silliness -

Quote from: Sonny_Jim on February 05, 2021, 11:49:15 AMWhat happens if they have a wank inverted after they've been shot?  Does it make them shoot bullets out of their willy?

Still giggling away.

Dex Sawash

Quote from: Fr.Bigley on May 16, 2022, 10:55:18 AMYou always were a snivelling little suck up, I never liked you in my class and your photos were shit. Next time you corner me in a supermarket car park I'll fucking drop you.