Musical wankers' gear thread

[DJ Bob Hoskins]

Inspired by both the Musical gear wanking thread and the recent discussion in the Glinner thread about how if you use a Stratocaster or a Tube Screamer you're a wanker*, this is the thread for displaying your wanking equipment (steady).

I'm talking about the kind of gear for which the financial cost is secondary to the true price: your credibility.

I recently bought this on the cheap from someone online (he'd purchased it for a specific project and had used it exactly twice before getting rid):



It's fun to play around with and does its job well. I don't even particularly like vocoders, though, mainly because they are among the most overused effects in popular music history. Unless you're Daft Punk hiding your shame-face behind your helmets (and even then) you have no business using one of these in front of actual people without looking like the wanker that you are.

Beat that, wankers.






*I do have a Strat and a TS but my main guitar is a Jaguar so that means I'm cool.

[drummersaredeaf]

I think you get a pass for that. What is being a guitarist if it's not buying shiny things that you have no practical use for?

As for my issues with the STRAT:

- Boring and clichéd pentatonic dad blues wankery? STRAT
- Guy who turns up to an open mic with more gear than is practical and hogs the slots with loads of licks and solos amidst the howling? STRAT
- Great cost and time in modding to make it sound like anything other than a Strat? STRAT

You'd be hard pushed to find a pro with one as their main instrument that isn't a boring player or absolute rotter either. Gilmour and Hendrix get a pass, but Clapton, Malmsteem, Blackmore, Mayer, Frusciante...

STRAT

I think it absolutely has to be a Fender for it to be an arsehole indicator too. Anything resembling a copy and the chances of the player being a wanker tumble dramatically.

[PlanktonSideburns]

Gig FX variable overdrive

Seeing as I started this thread by saying that the tube screamer was the pedal of wankers, I present to you my total wankers pedal, which is essentially 3 incrementally more gainy overdrives with a three point rocker switch, so 3 tube screamers in one pedal, individual gain and volume settings for each overdrive, and a master eq.

Bought it with the intention of not needing any more overdrive or distortion pedals, guess how that went, though it is my go to bass overdrive now, this plus a bit of SAN's amp grit is absolutely lovely

[PlanktonSideburns]

I think you get a pass for that. What is being a guitarist if it's not buying shiny things that you have no practical use for?

As for my issues with the STRAT:

- Boring and clichéd pentatonic dad blues wankery? STRAT
- Guy who turns up to an open mic with more gear than is practical and hogs the slots with loads of licks and solos amidst the howling? STRAT
- Great cost and time in modding to make it sound like anything other than a Strat? STRAT

You'd be hard pushed to find a pro with one as their main instrument that isn't a boring player or absolute rotter either. Gilmour and Hendrix get a pass, but Clapton, Malmsteem, Blackmore, Mayer, Frusciante...

STRAT

I think it absolutely has to be a Fender for it to be an arsehole indicator too. Anything resembling a copy and the chances of the player being a wanker tumble dramatically.

Yamaha Pacifica - good bunch of lads
Ibanez talman - great bunch of lads
Ibanez gem - get his hard drive checked

[PlanktonSideburns]

where do Burns Of London feature on the wanker scale? this baritone has been like a second limb to me for years, would be nice to know exactly how much of a little wank that makes me

[PlanktonSideburns]

bought one recently of which i have absolutley NO doubts as to its total wanker status:



that one is staring down at strats with binoculars from a gleaming tower of wankery

[drummersaredeaf]

Oh yeah, fanned frets are a serious bete noire for me.

Burns and baritones (mostly) get a pass I think. Non metal baritones are especially curious and therefore interesting.

[chutnut]

I like the look of that vocoder, not a massive fan of vocoded vocals but I love putting them on basically anything else, especially drums.
Recently got a jazzmaster (hadnt played guitar for over 15 years) so been thinking of getting some interesting pedals like that.
I've got this which I've had since the late 90s:

I keep the gain down very low and it just makes it sound a lot smoother and nicer.
I've got a digitech delay pedal too but that seems to have died over the years. Had loop and reverse functions which were fun.

This good for basic squelchy synth parts

The drums can sound nice if processed a lot too. Was surprised to hear these are quite sought after now and go for more than I spent on it new

And the old classic sm57


I suppose they're not wanky really but I'm posting them anyway and what

[PlanktonSideburns]

I like the look of that vocoder, not a massive fan of vocoded vocals but I love putting them on basically anything else, especially drums.
Recently got a jazzmaster (hadnt played guitar for over 15 years) so been thinking of getting some interesting pedals like that.
I've got this which I've had since the late 90s:

I keep the gain down very low and it just makes it sound a lot smoother and nicer.
I've got a digitech delay pedal too but that seems to have died over the years. Had loop and reverse functions which were fun.

This good for basic squelchy synth parts

The drums can sound nice if processed a lot too. Was surprised to hear these are quite sought after now and go for more than I spent on it new

And the old classic sm57


I suppose they're not wanky really but I'm posting them anyway and what

those marshall pedals are lovely - feel like theyre made out of gun metal or something! used to have their compressos (called Edward The Compressor - definatley a wankers pedal), left it on the roof of a mates car and it bounced off into a hedge at 60mph. probably still working to this day

[PlanktonSideburns]

Oh yeah, fanned frets are a serious bete noire for me.

Burns and baritones (mostly) get a pass I think. Non metal baritones are especially curious and therefore interesting.

Ah man, the fanned frets on a baritone feel so nice tho- I love my burns but it has a high string that's close to snapping, and a low string that's almost falling off - I've got used to it, but when I got my fanned wankercaster it was a revelation-  bass vi tunings with equal string tension!!! I do wish there was a fanned Bari that doesn't look like a saaab tho

[TheGingerAlien]

Cannae believe all this strat bashing lads. All time design classic. Beautiful sounding, game-changing instrument. Screw yer heads on here - yer going on like it's the GB news of guitars.

edit: full disclosure - gammon chops

[chutnut]

There is something I've always found unappealing about the look of strats tbh

those marshall pedals are lovely - feel like theyre made out of gun metal or something! used to have their compressos (called Edward The Compressor - definatley a wankers pedal), left it on the roof of a mates car and it bounced off into a hedge at 60mph. probably still working to this day

Yeah solid as fuck! Quite tempted to check out some of the other ones tbf

[DJ Bob Hoskins]

I like the look of that vocoder, not a massive fan of vocoded vocals but I love putting them on basically anything else, especially drums.

It is a pretty cool gadget. Never thought of using it on drums but will give that a try. I've been wondering what would happen if I try vocoding vocals (using a vocal sample / loop as the carrier) so that's another experiment on my to-do list.

Mind you it's a slippery slope and next thing you know I'll be all "ELECTRIFYING......INFINITE TIME...Time...time....time"

[PlanktonSideburns]

There is something I've always found unappealing about the look of strats tbh
Yeah solid as fuck! Quite tempted to check out some of the other ones tbf

Compressor was really nice, a guitar compressor, not a bass one, cuts the bass too much, but a great comp that went from subtle to mad country squish twang if memory serves. Do they still make them?

[Better Midlands]

I watch Ricky Tinez, mainly for his house music and MPC stuff. Often he gets sent new pedals for review and this one stood out as particularly wanky

£300!



Also eurorack/modular seems to be a laborious and expensive way to make music, I can see the appeal of the tech and messing with them looks fun but I'd never make any music if I had one.

[The Late Satoru Iwata]

You'd be hard pushed to find a pro with one as their main instrument that isn't a boring player or absolute rotter either. Gilmour and Hendrix get a pass, but Clapton, Malmsteem, Blackmore, Mayer, Frusciante...

STRAT

You can no longer lump John Mayer in with this lot because, instead of a Strat, he now plays his signature PRS Silver Sky, a guitar that's completely - oh.

[PlanktonSideburns]

Where do super strats fit in in the music wanker gear world?

[PlanktonSideburns]

Ended up getting rid of my danelectro spring reverb pedal, as having an amplified spring on the pedal board was an interference/vibrational disaster

[drummersaredeaf]

I think super strats are not strats. EVH's guitar for example isn't in with my strat prejudice.

Charvel/Jackson/Ibanez scream interest in certain kinds of music don't they, but I'm not anti super strat per se. I agree that Ibanez Jem ownership is likely to be of interest to the authorities. Being in a band with an Ibanez player has been one of the most frustrating experiences of my life - just non-stop ambulance noises along with a sneering sense of superiority.

[PlanktonSideburns]

At least you know what your getting with a Jackson owner, balls to the wall humbuckerosity

It's the incinserity of the Ibanez with it hh s hh setup

Pick a lane guys

[PlanktonSideburns]

Though I am thinking of getting a single coil for my wankercaster, or at least a splittable one in the bridge

[PlanktonSideburns]

Used to have an aluminium beer barrel cut in half, with two 12" speakers insterted. Had a hinge on it so it looked like a beer barrel, then you cracked it open, guitar cab. Thanks for the permanent back damage, past me!

[drummersaredeaf]

Though I am thinking of getting a single coil for my wankercaster, or at least a splittable one in the bridge

How's this for wankery - a non shred Schecter, that is halfway between a Firebird and Tele in looks, but has splittable HH pickups. Berserk looking and sounding. Neither fish nor fowl.

This but in sunburst. Do Strat players look at me like the cunt?

[TheGingerAlien]

How's this for wankery - a non shred Schecter, that is halfway between a Firebird and Tele in looks, but has splittable HH pickups. Berserk looking and sounding. Neither fish nor fowl.

This but in sunburst. Do Strat players look at me like the cunt?

Nah that is cool. But maybe me saying that makes it actually not cool?

[TheGingerAlien]

Where do super strats fit in in the music wanker gear world?

Super strat is definite red flag IMHO.

[drummersaredeaf]

Nah that is cool. But maybe me saying that makes it actually not cool?

I thought Schecter and offset tuners are generally sex offender red flags.

[Spiteface]

I play a Jazzmaster at the moment, which makes me one of the "Hipster twats"




I am, however shit at photograpy.

I also like Les Pauls, but fuck Joe Bonamassa and anyone who plays white man blues on them.

[TheGingerAlien]

I thought Schecter and offset tuners are generally sex offender red flags.

You're thinking of the Pete Townsend tele

[TheGingerAlien]

I play a Jazzmaster at the moment, which makes me one of the "Hipster twats"




I am, however shit at photograpy.

I also like Les Pauls, but fuck Joe Bonamassa and anyone who plays white man blues on them.

That's nice.  I like.

Billy Gibbons takes offence though.

[Sherman Krank]

Over the last year or so I've acquired all nine of these silver Marshall pedals mostly just due to them being so plentiful and relatively cheap second hand on ebay (they ceased production several years ago).
The 'Buy It Now' listings tend to over price them (probably just because they have 'Marshall' on them) but if you're patient and watch out for low start auctions you can pick them up for not very much. The most I paid was £35 each for a Guv'nor and an Echohead delay and both arrived looking like they'd never been out of their box.

I haven't used them that much as yet as my go to setup at the moment is mostly electro-harmonix based but I have pissed about with them a bit and they all seem pretty useable.
Pluses I've found so far are the Regenerator pedal has a fun step-phaser setting which is a hard to find effect outside of yer expensive Helix and Kemper boxes and I found that setting the Bluesbreaker II to boost mode and sticking it in front of the Guv'nor can make a small clean set solid state amp do a decent impression of a Marshall stack.

Cannae believe all this strat bashing lads.

There's a good reason the strat body is the most copied by an absolute mile.
Personally I think Jazzmasters and Jaguars are ugly as fuck, awkward to play and most have a vibrato bridge that looks and functions like it was designed by a mentally ill person.



A few months back I bought all the bits to build a '69 Thinline tele. Due to abject laziness I haven't got around to building it yet but when I do I suspect it'll be the wankiest guitar in all Christendom due to its egregious silver sparkle finish.
The pictures of the body on the website seriously underplayed how mad the finish is (the kind of thing Liberace would look at and say 'Bit much mate') and to compound matters, before it arrived I ordered a mirror pickguard for it.
I think I'll call it Firestarter on account of playing it when the sun's out is likely to start fires.