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Musical wankers' gear thread

Started by DJ Bob Hoskins, March 19, 2022, 02:22:55 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Neomod

I used to be in a band with Daniel Rachael and even with a Strat, Fender Twin and Marshall Guvnor I was not the biggest wanker in the group.

TheGingerAlien

Quote from: Sherman Krank on March 19, 2022, 04:35:58 PMA few months back I bought all the bits to build a '69 Thinline tele. Due to abject laziness I haven't got around to building it yet but when I do I suspect it'll be the wankiest guitar in all Christendom due to its egregious silver sparkle finish.

I don't think a sparkle finish is wank at all - it sounds great.

I am most suspicious of braindead looking blokes with epiphone ES-355 type things, but I suspect this comes from my youth.

Spiteface

Quote from: Sherman Krank on March 19, 2022, 04:35:58 PMPersonally I think Jazzmasters and Jaguars are ugly as fuck, awkward to play and most have a vibrato bridge that looks and functions like it was designed by a mentally ill person.

Outside, now.

You are the reason Fender insists on releasing Jazzmaster-shaped guitars with hardtail bridges and strat-style vibratos. You're part of the problem.

Rizla


Spiteface

I don't think Noel even used that on anything back then. He uses Jazzmasters now, though.

Don't Look Back in Anger's solo was done on a strat, though.

Sherman Krank

Quote from: TheGingerAlien on March 19, 2022, 04:41:32 PMI don't think a sparkle finish is wank at all - it sounds great.
Might be as I managed to score some high end parts for a the rest of it at very reasonable prices. I'll have to get another pickguard though.
Quote from: TheGingerAlien on March 19, 2022, 04:41:32 PMI am most suspicious of braindead looking blokes with epiphone ES-355 type things
Hi Liam.

Quote from: Spiteface on March 19, 2022, 04:44:50 PMOutside, now.

You are the reason Fender insists on releasing Jazzmaster-shaped guitars with hardtail bridges and strat-style vibratos. You're part of the problem.
I forgot to mention those stupid switches, much better off with a 3 way and a couple of push pull pots.

Spiteface

Admittedly, I once coveted the Sonic Youth signature models - They were just a volume knob and 3-way toggle, as Lee Ranaldo and Thurston Moore have ALL their Jazzmasters set up. Even the 1964 one Thurston continues to use for his solo stuff now.

I find the rhythm circuit quite usable though, especially on Jaguars.

PlanktonSideburns

Quote from: drummersaredeaf on March 19, 2022, 04:15:09 PMHow's this for wankery - a non shred Schecter, that is halfway between a Firebird and Tele in looks, but has splittable HH pickups. Berserk looking and sounding. Neither fish nor fowl.

This but in sunburst. Do Strat players look at me like the cunt?



Excellent, classy guitar

Get the FUCK OUT OF THIS THREAD

Quote from: PlanktonSideburns on March 19, 2022, 05:37:43 PMExcellent, classy guitar

Get the FUCK OUT OF THIS THREAD

I also have one of these. Headless = nonce, yes?


TheGingerAlien


Rizla

Quote from: drummersaredeaf on March 19, 2022, 05:40:07 PMI also have one of these. Headless = nonce, yes?


Can i have a close look at your knob please, want to see if it's weird.

PlanktonSideburns

Quote from: Sherman Krank on March 19, 2022, 04:35:58 PMOver the last year or so I've acquired all nine of these silver Marshall pedals mostly just due to them being so plentiful and relatively cheap second hand on ebay (they ceased production several years ago).
The 'Buy It Now' listings tend to over price them (probably just because they have 'Marshall' on them) but if you're patient and watch out for low start auctions you can pick them up for not very much. The most I paid was £35 each for a Guv'nor and an Echohead delay and both arrived looking like they'd never been out of their box.

I haven't used them that much as yet as my go to setup at the moment is mostly electro-harmonix based but I have pissed about with them a bit and they all seem pretty useable.
Pluses I've found so far are the Regenerator pedal has a fun step-phaser setting which is a hard to find effect outside of yer expensive Helix and Kemper boxes and I found that setting the Bluesbreaker II to boost mode and sticking it in front of the Guv'nor can make a small clean set solid state amp do a decent impression of a Marshall stack.
There's a good reason the strat body is the most copied by an absolute mile.
Personally I think Jazzmasters and Jaguars are ugly as fuck, awkward to play and most have a vibrato bridge that looks and functions like it was designed by a mentally ill person.



A few months back I bought all the bits to build a '69 Thinline tele. Due to abject laziness I haven't got around to building it yet but when I do I suspect it'll be the wankiest guitar in all Christendom due to its egregious silver sparkle finish.
The pictures of the body on the website seriously underplayed how mad the finish is (the kind of thing Liberace would look at and say 'Bit much mate') and to compound matters, before it arrived I ordered a mirror pickguard for it.
I think I'll call it Firestarter on account of playing it when the sun's out is likely to start fires.
 



NOW we're talking

Sherman Krank

Just saw that Gibson have released a new old guitar.


The new Gibson Theodore

It seems that someone at Gibson found an old scribble done by Ted McCarty in 1957 and they've built some guitars based on that scribble.
This seems highly suspect to me as Gibson know full well that their mug customers will only pay through the nose for guitars designed in the '50s (every post 50's design they've launched has bombed).

TL:DR £5k for Teisco Tulip copy FFS.


PlanktonSideburns

Quote from: drummersaredeaf on March 19, 2022, 05:40:07 PMI also have one of these. Headless = nonce, yes?



Get back in here

I'm going to have to post my own home made headless bass where I've sawn the head off a normal bass neck and attached tuners Down by the bridge

Sherman Krank

The likes of Strandberg and Keisel made headless guitars fashionable again a couple of years ago (I think you can even get headless Harley Bentons).
I had a shot of one of those Hohners years ago, didn't like the string tension at all. The guy said it had a set of 9's on it but they felt more like 12's to me.

Rizla

Quote from: Sherman Krank on March 19, 2022, 05:47:56 PMThe new Gibson Theodore
I've seen worse tbf. But Gibson's prices are pretty laughable, especially for what were meant to be their affordable models. Some of the juniors I've seen look like they were coated with dulux.
Weird company. I had one of these for a bit, an All American II

Ostensibly a 90s update of the melody maker but with single coils and a strat bridge. Neither one thing nor t'other.

Got one of these from the same shop I sold it to - Epiphone's reissue 1963 Firebird VII, made to original Gibson spec.



Marvellous instrument. Currently strung with flatwounds which is mental.

Ferris

If it ain't a fender offset I'm not interested. Get them switches going, see what happens!

Also baffled by the defence of the most pig-dog guitar of them all, the Stratocaster. It's the kind of thing Alan sugar would own. Worthless things.

Have I mentioned my theremin yet? That's got to be the wankiest thing in the thread so far.

Spiteface

Quote from: TheGingerAlien on March 19, 2022, 04:31:13 PMThat's nice.  I like.

Billy Gibbons takes offence though.

Gibbons is alright. Epic beard.

Bonamasa is the devil, though. And not the good one with all the good tunes.

Glebe

Thought Gibson had gone out of business?

badaids


I recently bought one of these, because I thought it would be what Stuart Staples would want me to do.


Sherman Krank

#50
Quote from: Glebe on March 19, 2022, 07:27:00 PMThought Gibson had gone out of business?
Nah they were gradually run into the ground by a mad bloke named Henry Juszkiewicz (apparently he would take his executives out into the desert and have them shoot at Fender guitars with machine guns). A few years back Henry decided that Gibson were as well known as the likes of  Ferrari and Chanel (they aint) and sunk a shit ton of cash into trying to turn Gibson into a lifestyle brand producing loads of overpriced designer tat (clothing, sunglasses, headphones etc.).
It didn't sell and Gibson were left on the verge of bankruptcy. Henry finally got booted and was replaced by a couple of corporate spivs.
The first thing they did was to fix the woeful quality control being done on the guitars (at least until enough people on the internet were saying 'Gibsons are good again').
Their main strategy seems to be coming up with inventive ways to part their core market of wealthy boomers with as much of their cash as possible.
Their most successful wheeze so far has been the release of the Adam Jones (out of Tool) silverburst Les Paul.
Basically they go 'These might seem overpriced but we're only making a few of them then that's it, so they'll be worth a fortune in the future' then they use the internet to create a hype bubble then when the used price hits a certain point they go 'The demand for these is now so high we've decided to do another run but with prices so high we obviously need to charge you more than last time'. They then do that a few more times then just release it as a production model then will probably do an Epiphone version before too long.
I suspect they hope they can do the same thing with this Theodore thing.

They're also running another scheme with a company called Rally that seems like it should be illegal but for some reason isn't.
Here's a short video with KDH explaining how it works.

Pink Gregory

Quote from: The Late Satoru Iwata on March 19, 2022, 12:42:51 PMYou can no longer lump John Mayer in with this lot because, instead of a Strat, he now plays his signature PRS Silver Sky, a guitar that's completely - oh.



Thanks, I vomited.

Glebe

Quote from: Sherman Krank on March 19, 2022, 09:34:38 PMNah they were gradually run into the ground by a mad bloke named Henry Juszkiewicz...

Interesting, cheers for the info Sherman!


DJ Bob Hoskins

#54
Quote from: Rizla on March 19, 2022, 04:51:29 PM

Mine is very similar albeit in a much more faded Sonic Blue.



I didn't choose it because of The Beatles (George Harrison owned an identical one which he famously repainted to become the "Rocky" Strat), but the association probably made the decision easier.

Back on topic, though:



BONUS WANKERY:
This probably deserved to be Exhibit A in the opening post...



It's a Yamaha SHS-10 which I begged my parents to get me for Xmas circa 1988, on the basis that it would help with my piano lessons. To be frank: it sounds like crap. Amusingly, there's a yellow Demo button (quite common on Yamaha keyboards of the era) which plays a splendid rendition of Last Christmas.

The reason it survived all these years is because its best feature is a MIDI Out socket. My family's first computer was an Atari ST (which we got around 1990) and I managed to get it to send notes to a freeware sequencer program as a kid, but got no further than that. When I got my first laptop and audio/MIDI interface in the mid-2000s, I dug it out of my parents' attic and employed it as a basic MIDI controller for soft synths. Which is probably the only thing it's good for.


kngen

Pretty wanky and unneccessary, as I had just got an Electro-Harmonix Memory Boy about a month earlier. But stringing them both together with a Gretsch gets you some nice windy desert sounds.


Sherman Krank

Quote from: DJ Bob Hoskins on March 20, 2022, 01:30:11 PMBack on topic, though:


I was going to say that's clearly an entry level Yamaha Pacifica so definitely not his guitar but after typing 'Tony Blair guitar' into google images it seems he does actually own a black Fender Strat and it looks like it could well be a signature Clapton 'Blackie' model which of course exponentially increases the wank factor.
The only other guitar he appears to own is a natural finish Fender Telecaster very similar to Keith Richards famous 'Micawber' tele (but without the mad DIY humbucker in the neck position).
So in summary, boring unimaginative twat (but I bet in one of his houses he has a room full of PRS 'Private Stock' guitars, the ultimate corporate wanker guitar).


Bently Sheds

Quote from: Sherman Krank on March 19, 2022, 05:47:56 PMJust saw that Gibson have released a new old guitar.


The new Gibson Theodore

It seems that someone at Gibson found an old scribble done by Ted McCarty in 1957 and they've built some guitars based on that scribble.
This seems highly suspect to me as Gibson know full well that their mug customers will only pay through the nose for guitars designed in the '50s (every post 50's design they've launched has bombed).

TL:DR £5k for Teisco Tulip copy FFS.


They look like those old aluminium Tokai Talbo guitars from the 80s.

DJ Bob Hoskins

Quote from: Sherman Krank on March 20, 2022, 02:52:26 PMI was going to say that's clearly an entry level Yamaha Pacifica so definitely not his guitar but after typing 'Tony Blair guitar' into google images it seems he does actually own a black Fender Strat and it looks like it could well be a signature Clapton 'Blackie' model which of course exponentially increases the wank factor.

Wank Factor: Over 9,000



Mind you, he can make any guitar look bad.



"And now I'd like to play a little song for all the dead Iraqi kids. This one is called 'Tears in Heaven'"

Sherman Krank

Quote from: Bently Sheds on March 20, 2022, 02:56:54 PMThey look like those old aluminium Tokai Talbo guitars from the 80s.
I think I read somewhere that the Talbo body was a kind of homage to the Teisco Tulip from the 60's.



But anyway we now know that that body shape was designed by Ted McCarty in 1957 as Gibson have definitive proof in the form of a drawing that definitely wasn't just done a few months ago and then dipped in some cold tea to make it look old.