Ball, ball, ball, footie, footie, footie: Chant thread

[touchingcloth]

Aka Shit for Chants.

One of the Blackpool players has come out as gay, and the cynic in me immediately started to wonder about how long it would take some legend to write a chant about the situation.

And then I started to wonder, how do chants spread? I was aware of a lot of them when I was in primary school, but I've no idea how they found their way to us kids.

In some ways it's more understandable how adults in the same era would have heard about them, but in other ways it's far more baffling. Would a pair of legends Gary have a chat in the pub along the lines of

"Did you see that ludicrous display last night?"

"Yes. But less about that. Here, you know that Ole Gunnar Solskjær? Well the plan is, right, we sing his name, but to the tune of the Robin Hood theme. Pass it on."

And then do they have a little rehearse before going to the match? A load of men sat about going "and a one and a two and a one, two, three, four: YOUR SHIT AND YOU KNOW YOU ARE"?

Bewildering.

[shoulders]

Inventing chants is in itself fine and there are some funny creative ones that are occasionally surreal, if not that then endearingly dumb.

Chants and songs are part of the pantomime and rhythm of the piece, fun and socially binding experience.

Most of the tradition is quaint.

So much of football deserves sneering at but you choose this? Bizarre.

[Gurke and Hare]

New ones tend to get spread around in pubs pre-match.

[dissolute ocelot]

Fanzines used to do this. What do footie fans do now, Facebook groups?

[Povidone]

"THERE'S ONLY TWO ANDY GORAMS!"

[TrenterPercenter]

Chants start because someone makes it up and then sings at the ground if people like they join in.  This is why they are nearly always familiar tunes and simplistic.

I always thought AFC Wimbledons "We are wombles" was always a bit of work when I went to see them play.

We are wombles
We are wombles
Super wombles from the lane
We are wombles super wombles
We are wombles from the lane
We drink champane
We snort cocaine
We've got ladies over here
You've got s*it jobs
You s*ag your dogs and your
Wife is on the game
We are wombles
We are wombles
Super wombles from the lane
We are wombles super wombles
We are wombles from the lane
We drink capari we drive ferraris
We've got wombles in our lives
U've go bus stops second hand shops
And your mum's in readers wives

[studpuppet]

In my experience there's usually a 'choir master' in any crowd, usually a drunk bloke that's either taken his top off early doors, or more likely never had a top on. They generally start with easy well-known chants and get the crowd around them going, especially call-and-response ones.

I love the chants that crowds know, and you never hear on the telly or have trouble hearing the words of them if they do get caught by the microphone. There was one started at Arsenal in the early seventies, when some of the crowd and a lot of the players were Irish that goes:

So Paddy got up and he sang it again
Over and over and over again
B'Jesus said Paddy, I sang it so well
I think I'll get up and I'll sing it again

One person can start off singing it slowly whilst clapping hands, getting other people to join, and then that part of the ground starts singing it and then another part responds in kind; it can go on for many repetitions before it peters out.

[petril]

there's also the hardcore support having to share trains and buses home, and coming up with stuff. remarks that vaguely fit one of the standard chant melodies and then I imagine they riff a bit.

either that or it's ones where it's like Chain Letters: take a chant, change a word, do it again, and you've become a wanker made a new chant. hence all the Walking Along, Singing A Song, Walking In A <Player> Wonderland dross ones.

my favourite was Celtic's 2003 UEFA Cup one, where they got this to the tune of The Entertainer:

Tell all the huns ye know,
We're in the UEFA Cup and they're no'¹ x3

They'll be watching The Bill,
While we're in Seville,
We're in the YOO AYY FA CUP AND THEY'RE NOOOOO'

the attention paid to the ITV schedule is what made that chant. comedy police hats were all over of the stands in the build up to that final, along with beach balls and the usual Spanish holiday tat. Celtic bottled it and went down 3-2 in the final to Jose Mourinho's Porto.

three years later, during Middlesbrough's run to the final of the same competition, they lumped on Tom Hark and "Geordies at home, are watching The Bill". The Bill wasn't even on that night. Not giving Boro a proper quote for that. appropriated, corrupted and ruined all the amazing work north of the border.

¹said Huns had been knocked out of that year's competition in the first round

[shoulders]

https://terracechants.me.uk/tune/chants/prince-charming-by-adam-and-the-ants/

[This isnt witty sorry]

The Chant Laureate composes them and hands them out to all the clubs to give to the fans.

[touchingcloth]

¹said Huns had been knocked out of that year's competition in the first round

Who are said Huns? Google is suggesting either a Princeton American football team or the Hungarian national soccer side, neither of which fit the Scotch tone of your post...

[Kankurette]

Is One Man Went to Mow still a thing at Chelsea? It's surprisingly wholesome for a club with horrible fans.

Apparently Everton have brought back a wartime chant. Something about blackouts?

[petril]

Who are said Huns? Google is suggesting either a Princeton American football team or the Hungarian national soccer side, neither of which fit the Scotch tone of your post...

Rangers

[Bigfella]

Who are said Huns? Google is suggesting either a Princeton American football team or the Hungarian national soccer side, neither of which fit the Scotch tone of your post...

Scotch whisky, eggs, mist, tape.  Suffix of hop and butter.  Otherwise, 'Scots' or 'Scottish'. If you'd be so kind!

[badaids]

My favorites are/we're:

To the tune of Rebel Rebel about Phil and Gary Neville:
Neville Neville you play in defence, Neville Neville your futures immense,
Neville Neville like jacko you're bad,
Neville Neville it's the name of your dad.

To the tune of Rewind Bo Selecta.
Van, Per, Sie,
When a girl says 'no'
Molest her.

And the all time classic when the fans from Merseyside get too excited, to the tune of Big Ben ringing:
Calm down calm down
Calm down calm down

[The Lurker]

three years later, during Middlesbrough's run to the final of the same competition, they lumped on Tom Hark and "Geordies at home, are watching The Bill". The Bill wasn't even on that night. Not giving Boro a proper quote for that. appropriated, corrupted and ruined all the amazing work north of the border.

While I enjoy pedantry, I don't think football chants should really be held up for scrunity. After all, there's no way that every team is the greatest team the world has ever seen - let alone some struggling lower league side.

I did enjoy FC United's chant for their goalkeeper Barry George, to the tune of I'm Coming Out:

Free Barry George
He wants to world to know
He didn't kill Dando

[Povidone]

Tell all the huns ye know,
We're in the UEFA Cup and they're no'1 x3

The Hibs version from 3 years later after the passing of a certain infamous Heart of Midlothian shareholder:

oooh tell all the hearts you know
That Wallace Mercer is deid and we're no

(Mercer had attempted to 'merge' the two Edinburgh teams in 1990 when Hibs were in financial difficulty)

[Inspector Norse]

In my experience there's usually a 'choir master' in any crowd, usually a drunk bloke that's either taken his top off early doors, or more likely never had a top on. They generally start with easy well-known chants and get the crowd around them going, especially call-and-response ones...

One person can start off singing it slowly whilst clapping hands, getting other people to join, and then that part of the ground starts singing it and then another part responds in kind; it can go on for many repetitions before it peters out.

A lot of them foreign teams have blokes who pretty much stand at the front of the stand with megaphones or drums conducting the chanting, barely even watching the game.

[kalowski]

I hate chants. Nearly all ludicrous. I can admit to enjoying and singing one, that was particularly silly
Super Super Kev
Super Super Kev
Super Super Kev
Super Kevin Horlock

[monkfromhavana]

Wycombe fans when Craig Woodman got sent off singing "No Woodman, No Cry" is pretty good.

Having a sing or a chant is one of the best bits of going to the football, it makes you feel part of it with your fellow fans.

[jobotic]

I hate chants. Nearly all ludicrous. I can admit to enjoying and singing one, that was particularly silly
Super Super Kev
Super Super Kev
Super Super Kev
Super Kevin Horlock

It goes

Super Super Bob
Super Super Bob
Super Super Bob
Super Bobby Taylor

Call yourself a football fan yet you got that so wrong! Embarrassing for you

[madhair60]

Inventing chants is in itself fine and there are some funny creative ones that are occasionally surreal, if not that then endearingly dumb.

Chants and songs are part of the pantomime and rhythm of the piece, fun and socially binding experience.

Most of the tradition is quaint.

So much of football deserves sneering at but you choose this? Bizarre.

chants are for pie-munching fucking morons to be fair

[robhug]

we're top of the league, we're having a laugh (x10)

[bgmnts]

Never been arsed about chants at all, it makes everything seem very religious, but "let's pretend we scored a goal" is funny.

[Paul Calf]

Scotch whisky, eggs, mist, tape.  Suffix of hop and butter.  Otherwise, 'Scots' or 'Scottish'. If you'd be so kind!

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[Paul Calf]

Never been arsed about chants at all, it makes everything seem very religious, but "let's pretend we scored a goal" is funny.

The grim resignation of fans chanting '6-5! We're gonna win 6-5!' when they're 5-0 down away to Liverpool in the 88th minute always made me laugh.

[shoulders]

chants are for pie-munching fucking morons to be fair

You'd know mate being one

[madhair60]

You'd know mate being one

yeah that's why i chimed in

[xxxx xxx x xxx]

"Where were you when you were us?" from AFC Wimbledon to MK Dons fans was a good one.

[moondogs]

Not sure why this Chelsea one has always stuck in my head:

Blue is the colour
Football is the game,
Poor old Matthew Harding
He should have took the train