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March 29, 2024, 09:51:53 AM

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Places you really can't stand.

Started by Fr.Bigley, June 28, 2022, 11:25:10 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

buttgammon

Quote from: DJ Bob Hoskins on June 29, 2022, 07:13:16 PM*rolls eyes* I think you'll find this has already been discussed at length in the numerous other Italian Airports threads, the dedicated subforum "FUC'd & BLQ'd", and the weekly YouTube broadcast "The a-Mess We're-a In".

Oh, only cliquey threads for the cool kids then?

shiftwork2

Quote from: buttgammon on June 29, 2022, 06:56:22 PMhas anyone flown out of Naples recently by any chance?

3 years ago yes, which is basically 1 year ago.  What do you need to know?

Jerrykeshton

There are a few places.

Athens. I have to go quite frequently because of family reasons. More than a few streets away from the parliament and it's a complete tip.

Closer to home, Telford. A shopping centre and industrial estates with some awful ring roads. It was meant to be about twice the size and hasn't had the space filled in as no one wants to live there.

Also agree with Asda. Horrible place.


buttgammon

Quote from: shiftwork2 on June 29, 2022, 07:44:51 PM3 years ago yes, which is basically 1 year ago.  What do you need to know?

I was wondering how smoothly things are going there under the current chaos because I'll be flying from there soon and want to know if I need to get there four days in advance or anything.

seepage

re: airports, I think Santorini has been the absolute worst, in contrast to the island being sort of lux

Thetford town centre was pretty grim, only offset by the person I asked directions of to my middle-of-fuckin-nowhere holiday cottage replying "there be two ways, and you'll be wantin' the short way" 

DJ Bob Hoskins

Quote from: shoulders on June 29, 2022, 07:06:53 PMIf you think Italian airports are bad, try the Greek islands.

I've only ever been to one: Heraklion (c. 2005) and it would definitely make my Top 5 Shit European Airports list.

What's at #1, you (didn't) ask?

Let's just say that if I had to choose between being aggressively cavity-searched by military personnel in a tin-shack terminal beside a remote airstrip in an active warzone, or having to take another flight to or from Charles de Gaulle airport, I'd happily pay for the lube for the officers' latex gloves out of my own pocket.

Sebastian Cobb

My Greek airport story is setting off the metal-detectors getting frisked by your security man, with his hand clasped around my leg, centimetres from my sweaty bollocks, going 'is your baggage to the left or right?' and me misinterpreting this as the traditional 'tailor's question' and responding with 'it's all a bit bunched up mate' and rearranged myself through my trousers in front of the poor guy's face.

'no, left or right scanner?'
*walks off shaking head in disgust*

Airports set tripwires we're not meant to see.

Kankurette

I was fucking a guy from Rhyl around the time I got stuck there and I texted him to say where I was, and that it was indeed a shithole.

Apparently Greenock is less horrible than it was when my dad was little, but I'm still not going there any time soon.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Kankurette on June 30, 2022, 01:27:51 AMI was fucking a guy from Rhyl

No shade but this just springs out as a HS Art thread title in waiting.

jamiefairlie

Quote from: Kankurette on June 30, 2022, 01:27:51 AMI was fucking a guy from Rhyl

That's surely the start of a limerick

DJ Bob Hoskins

#190
I was fucking a guy from Rhyl
Whose girth left no hole go unfilled
He let out a belch
Then admitted in Welsh
That he'd swallowed a little blue pill

Ray Travez

I was fucking a guy from Rhyll
He said fucking just made him feel ill
So I played him some Space
And he said "this is ace!
I can fuck you again on the sill"

Pink Gregory

while boffing a fellow from rhyl
around the whole town i did mill
while his willy was pleasant
i just wasn't present
and it's not my idea of a thrill

Fr.Bigley

We're digressing the theme of this thread
I implore that you think with your head
As we're finding as planned, places we cannot stand
Now get back onto track you dickheads

Zero Gravitas

Has someone wilfully confused multiple meanings of the word 'stand' for comic effect yet?

greencalx

Y'mean like on top of a blancmange or something.

Zero Gravitas

In this case as it's pretty unavoidably implying a locale, it'd have to be something like a punji pit? Oooh, or maybe hot coals!

Or you could do some kind of fish thing with 'Plaice', could the fact that they're flat allow some kind of additional level of subversion of expectations?

Sebastian Cobb

Well I got slapped with breach of the peace for playing I Want To Take You Higher loudly in the park so...

Zero Gravitas

A bit niche but pretty good.

That'd probably work if you substituted in 'watching a 1994 Stephen King miniseries' too.

I did consider the recent remake but I think a bedraggled Matt Frewer rising slowly through your subconscious gives referencing the original an edge.

It's not a long lasting one though, your mind starts to wander into 'Did he take a projector?' and 'That's a very unusual thing to be doing' and that starts to dampen it down a little.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Zero Gravitas on June 30, 2022, 12:25:40 PMThat'd probably work if you substituted in 'watching a 1994 Stephen King miniseries' too.

I did consider the recent remake but I think a bedraggled Matt Frewer rising slowly through your subconscious gives referencing the original an edge.

I had no idea this existed but now I want to see it.

Gurke and Hare

Quote from: Jerrykeshton on June 29, 2022, 08:29:42 PMAthens. I have to go quite frequently because of family reasons. More than a few streets away from the parliament and it's a complete tip.

It's true, loads of buildings that look like they haven't been repaired for thousands of years.

Anyway, you can't stand in the bath in this house. Despite the estate agent's trademark deceptive photography used in the photos on the listing, the top of the windows on the first floor are about three feet off the ground. No way to have a shower, and that's why I didn't make an offer.

Sebastian Cobb

Looks like you might just squeeze a cubicle in there if you put it where the shit-pot is, and ditched the bath.

Psybro

That's a good point, I really couldn't stand in the bath of my room in the former Best Western Monkbar Hotel, now DoubleTree by Hilton York, due to a sloping roof despite it having a normal shower set-up for someone who's 4'10" or less.  Buyer beware.

Jerrykeshton

Quote from: Gurke and Hare on July 01, 2022, 02:57:49 PMIt's true, loads of buildings that look like they haven't been repaired for thousands of years.

That describes my in-laws block of apartments perfectly

Kankurette

Is Fareham shit? It appeared in Angry People In Local Newspapers a lot.

Pavlov`s Dog`s Dad`s Dead

Quote from: Kankurette on July 02, 2022, 02:18:59 AMIs Fareham shit? It appeared in Angry People In Local Newspapers a lot.
Wasn't it the home of the admin's local newspaper?

Catalogue Trousers

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on June 30, 2022, 02:35:13 PMI had no idea this existed but now I want to see it.

It's got Bill Fagerbakke in it as well. Top stuff.

Dex Sawash


Glebe

Quote from: Dex Sawash on July 03, 2022, 08:14:22 PMCrawley.

Seriously though have never been to Crawley and it might well be a lovely place though I'm sure some wry CaBber will suggest that it is most certainly not.