Snooker 2019

[Blue Jam]

I've got money on Kylo Ren and I'd still rather watch Selbot lose.

...all bladder control.

[Flouncer]

Last time somebody left the arena that quick it was Jimmy White dashing to the bogs for another line.

[poo]

GARY

[Blue Jam]

LEGEND GARY

[imitationleather]

Even the Molester from Leicester was impressed by him holding the rest in the air while taking a shot like that.

[kidney]

Nice one Gaz you absolute ledge

[Puce Moment]

Well done our Gaz. Push Selbah's face in the dirt with your boot.

[Flouncer]

Awesome clearance by Robertson to take the first frame by one point after Murphy misses a frame ball pink. Guwon, Neil - show him how it's done lad!

[Blue Jam]

This K-hole kiddo is an audacious player. Perhaps a bit too audacious but that's youthful exuberance for you. He's fun to watch, I hope we see a lot more of him.

[Puce Moment]

Interesting watching the players hanging out prior to the match on the red button. Maguire on his own trying to calm his demons, Cahill wanders over to Murphy for a chat and the fat testicle humours him for 5secs and then looks at his watch and wanders over to Maguire who have a nice laugh about something. Then he walks back and Cahill again tries to engage him. Murphy's not having it.

I reckon Robertson will demolish Murphy. He's so strong this year.

[Flouncer]

I love Maguire. He always looks as though he's about ten seconds away from going mental and smashing the place up in a Glaswegian rage.

[Norton Canes]

Brush Strokes making short work of Cahill in the first couple of frames.

[Norton Canes]

What's the most disgusting thing a snooker player's ever been caught on camera doing, sat in their seat while their opponent racks up a huge break?

Plenty of finger-picking. Sure there's been some bogey eating recorded for posterity.

[Norton Canes]

Fantastic shot by Cahill, potting the brown in the baulk end, sends the white off two cushions to dislodge a red from a tight pack and send it over the right corner pocket, where the cue ball lands in perfect position.

[Uncle TechTip]

To be fair that's a really nice castle.

[Flouncer]

I'm sick of Murphy's purse-lipped gurning. What a bozo.

[Puce Moment]

This K-hole kiddo is an audacious player. Perhaps a bit too audacious but that's youthful exuberance for you. He's fun to watch, I hope we see a lot more of him.

Are you watching this one from the seats?

[poo]

good match this

[Blue Jam]

Are you watching this one from the seats?

Not yet- as I type Dr Beat and I are about to get on a train to Sheffield. I'm going to use the Cahill dividend to treat us to a nice dinner tonight before we head over to the Winter Gardens for a snooker safari.

We have tickets for Maguire vs Cahill for the afternoon session tomorrow, on table 2. We'll be in the fourth row, at the back, near the corner behind where the players sit- I'll be wearing black-framed glasses and a purple top if you want to try spotting us.

It's also the third session of this match, so I hope there'll be a decent amount of snooker left to watch by then. If the divider has gone up we'll be craning our necks at Bingham and Gammon Chin on table 1.

[Puce Moment]

Play-doh head missed the brown LOL

Anyone notice Robertson giving the camera-guy shit-eye when he was fucking around with his camera between frames?

[Puce Moment]

Not yet- as I type Dr Beat and I are about to get on a train to Sheffield. I'm going to use the Cahill dividend to treat us to a nice dinner tonight before we head over to the Winter Gardens for a snooker safari.

We have tickets for Maguire vs Cahill for the afternoon session tomorrow, on table 2. We'll be in the fourth row, at the back, near the corner behind where the players sit- I'll be wearing black-framed glasses and a purple top if you want to try spotting us.

It's also the third session of this match, so I hope there'll be a decent amount of snooker left to watch by then. If the divider has gone up we'll be craning our necks at Bingham and Gammon Chin on table 1.

Maguire is obviously leading but if there is someone who could throw everything away under the pressure of both the crucible and a cocky young buck it's the volatile scotch man. I reckon that it will go a decent amount - perhaps not a deciding frame finish but not far off. I'm very jealous!

[biggytitbo]

However, the night before this match, Murphy, 36, spoke movingly about a horrendous incident while growing up in Irthlingborough, Northants, after achieving success as a 13-year-old.

The world No13 said: "I went through a bad time at school.

"I lived in a very parochial town and, because of what I did as a young snooker player, I was in the local papers and on radio regularly.

"So I was singled out for a bit of abuse by the other kids. Kids can be really nasty. In the penultimate day of Year 9, I was left for dead in the toilets in the school.

"I was beaten up by a group of lads at the school. I was just left in a pool of my own... whatever.

"The geography teacher took me home in her car that afternoon and said to my mum and dad, 'If you know what's good for your son, don't EVER send him back to this school.'

"Over the next few days we came to the decision that we were never going to go back. I couldn't wait to get out of the school system to be completely honest.

"I was educated at home and I took my GCSEs two or three years early. But for that decision I perhaps wouldn't be sat here today."

Very amusing story, really made me chuckle.

Whatever though? Does he mean piss?

[BlodwynPig]

cue chalk

[biggytitbo]

Gravy I reckon.

[BlodwynPig]

...making

[MidnightShambler]

Very amusing story, really made me chuckle.

Whatever though? Does he mean piss?

I think he was being a bit liberal with the term 'left for dead' there. I mean, he was fit enough to be taken home from school by a teacher not an ambulance so the chances are it wasnt that serious.

Also, it's got nothing to do with his town being a bit parochial and more to do with him being a cunt, I'll wager. I was Merseyside county pool champion at 15 and nobody leathered me in the school bogs, nobody did anything to the two lads who played for Liverpool and Everton either. Or the county cricketer. Plenty of nobheads got filled in though.

[poo]

Great to watch Williams when he gets in the groove. 

[Blue Jam]

WE HAVE ARRIVED... we just spotted Belgian ref Olivier Marteel awaiting his curtain call outside the back door of the Crucible, and I keep thinking I've spotted Kylo Ren but it's only because loads of blokes look like Kylo Ren. More scintillating celeb spots as we get them...

[Puce Moment]

WE HAVE ARRIVED... we just spotted Belgian ref Olivier Marteel awaiting his curtain call outside the back door of the Crucible, and I keep thinking I've spotted Kylo Ren but it's only because loads of blokes look like Kylo Ren. More scintillating celeb spots as we get them...

SQUEE!

I mean, unironically....SQUEE!

[MidnightShambler]

WE HAVE ARRIVED... we just spotted Belgian ref Olivier Marteel awaiting his curtain call outside the back door of the Crucible, and I keep thinking I've spotted Kylo Ren but it's only because loads of blokes look like Kylo Ren. More scintillating celeb spots as we get them...

Hope you have a good time. If you spot Michaela Tabb anywhere can you tell her I think she looks a right sort? Ta in advance.