Who Are History's 50 Thickest Rock Stars?

[Clatty McCutcheon]

Crispian Mills from Kula Shaker must be worth a shout, with his wittering on about swastikas to those famously gentle characters known as 1990s music press journalists.

[Dr Rock]

Crispian Mills from Kula Shaker must be worth a shout, with his wittering on about swastikas to those famously gentle characters known as 1990s music press journalists.

A shoe-in, thanks.

[Pauline Walnuts]

Ariel Pink saying he didn't want anti-covid jab, but he might get one if he ever caught covid.

[kngen]

In the Metalsphere -

Dave Mustaine has never struck me as very bright.
Phil Anselmo is undoubtedly a deeply thick cunt.

EDIT: Beaten to it by Bushwick!

I was going to put Metallica but I'll stand up for Hetfield and Ulrich, although Hammett comes across as a fairly empty headed surf-bro in a lot of interviews.

Nah, he's a pretty interesting fella. He just kind of checked out of Metallica for a good while (and who can blame him?). I think Hetfield far outstrips him in the longhair goron stakes (although I've never met him - just seen plenty of footage of him being a giant fucking baby.).

Mustaine is extremely wrong about a lot of things, but I wouldn't call him stupid. He can be charming, articulate and engaging, and it's only on further analysis (e.g. listening back to the recording of an interview) that you realise, 'Oh, he was being a total cunt, and it completely went over my head.' A right-wing twat, yes, but stupid? Nah, too easy to dimiss him as that.

[Martin Van Buren Stan]

Bryan Keith "Dexter" Holland

[Tikwid]

Paul Di'anno.

But he has worse problems.

Thought he was pretty good as the Riddler

[Pink Gregory]

Nah, he's a pretty interesting fella. He just kind of checked out of Metallica for a good while (and who can blame him?). I think Hetfield far outstrips him in the longhair goron stakes (although I've never met him - just seen plenty of footage of him being a giant fucking baby.).

Mustaine is extremely wrong about a lot of things, but I wouldn't call him stupid. He can be charming, articulate and engaging, and it's only on further analysis (e.g. listening back to the recording of an interview) that you realise, 'Oh, he was being a total cunt, and it completely went over my head.' A right-wing twat, yes, but stupid? Nah, too easy to dimiss him as that.

Plus Hetfield is probably no less of a right-wing twat, just doesn't talk about it.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

If we're into stupid politics rather than just durr durr britpop stupidity then Buzz Osborne is pally with Gavin McInnes and Kris Novoselic praised Trump after the murder of George Floyd

[Martin Van Buren Stan]

If we're into stupid politics rather than just durr durr britpop stupidity then Buzz Osborne is pally with Gavin McInnes and Kris Novoselic praised Trump after the murder of George Floyd

Interestingly McInnes apparently friends with Momus, the Black Lips and lots of other trendy rockers from his vice days. Who knows if they broke it off after he went fascist though.

[imitationleather]

Ariel Pink saying he didn't want anti-covid jab, but he might get one if he ever caught covid.

I watched a small bit of the interview the All Gas No Brakes guy did with him and can say that Ariel Pink's brain is completely fried. Dunno where all the banging tunes come from because he comes across as someone who'd need assistance to get dressed and go to the toilet and stuff. Barely a coherent thought in his head.

Also: Massive sex pest and fully cancelled now, of course.

[grainger]

I think Sid was a fair bit brighter than he liked to present himself as - I seem to recall that the letter he wrote Nancy's mother after her death was far more sensitive and articulate than one would expect (albeit really depressing, since the main message of it was "here's why I need to kill myself; I'm sure you understand").

I don't know whether Vicious was intelligent or not, but there was a thing in UK first-wave punk to pretend to be less intelligent than you were.

[Martin Van Buren Stan]

Ariel Pink did a pro trump interview on Tucker Carlson. Definitely seemed weird and thick.

[Chicory]

I don't think Meat Loaf was very bright.

[Jasha]

Depends what you define as thick really, not academic? general intelligence? zero self awareness? lacking wit? just a bit daft?

As a sort of fan (metal adjacent rather than A Metalhead), I'd say it took until about 1988/89 for there even to begin to be anyone involved in the genre who wasn't thick

Bruce Dickinson has a Desmond in history

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

I reckon Paul Weller is thick, who's with me?

He never comes across as particularly smart or anything, and seems to take everything a bit too seriously, especially his hair.

[Keebleman]

Lemmy wasn't thick exactly, but from the number of videos on YouTube praising some leaden sarcasm of his as the epitome of wit and insight, it's safe to infer that every other Heavy Metaller is an utter moron.

Also: Phil Oakey.  A dope. 

[Keebleman]

I disagree with about half the names on this thread (it is not important who) but offer insted: Peter Noone.

Odd choice! He certainly didn't sound think when he was a guest on Gilbert Gottfried's podcast a couple of years ago.

https://www.gilbertpodcast.com/peter-noone/

Mind you, he did tell a story about being in Abbey Road when the Beatles were putting the final touches to Revolver, and getting very excited when he saw a list of songs.  "The Beatles have written a song especially for me!"  "Really, are you sure?"  "Yes, look at this one here."  "Er, Peter, it's actually called For No-one."

[imitationleather]

As has been noted, Pete Doherty deffo isn't thick.

Murderer, maybe. But not thick.

[Sebastian Cobb]

1. Liam Gallagher - some credit for being occasionally witty, otherwise taking into account everything he has ever said and done, I reckon he takes some beating in the low IQ guesstimate ratings (78?).

Ever read a book?

His brother ain't keen on made-up stories.



https://www.theguardian.com/books/2013/oct/18/noel-gallagher-fiction-waste-time

[Martin Van Buren Stan]

I guess he never watches films then?

[Dr Rock]

His brother ain't keen on made-up stories.



https://www.theguardian.com/books/2013/oct/18/noel-gallagher-fiction-waste-time

Can someone come up with a portmanteau of arrogant and ignorant? Cheers.


From first hand experience, Lemmy wasn't thick, he had no time for fools.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Can someone come up with a portmanteau of arrogant and ignorant? Cheers.

There's 'ignoranus' which isn't quite what you've asked for but I reckon 'arsehole' can encompass arrogance.

[Jockice]

From first hand experience, Lemmy wasn't thick, he had no time for fools.

The same for Oakey, only in the present tense.

[Nice Relaxing Poo]

Having met a good few members of the larger more well known Psychobilly bands of yesteryear, I can safely say that the scene was (and still is) populated mostly by knuckle dragging troglodytes.

[Auntie Beryl]

Robbie Williams has long since confirmed his low-wattage status.

Strongly suspect Richard Ashcroft might fit the bill, it might be arrogance over intelligence though.

[phes]

Pete Doherty
I watched that Electric Dreams documentary thing years ago, I still remember one sequence as Pete and the film maker gaze over a cemetery, it went along the lines of
Pete 'my ____ is buried there, he set fire to himself'
doc maker 'self-immolation'
Pete 'No, he set fire to himself'

it's possible Doherty said it for comic effect, I don't know enough about the man but he seemed pretty thick.
found it

Halfway through and just realized this isn't a brilliant mockumentary

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

Bryan Keith "Dexter" Holland

Doesn't he have a Phd in physics or something?

[Glebe]

I guess he never watches films then?

Or reads the back of Sgt. Pepper.

[DJ Bob Hoskins]

Crispian Mills from Kula Shaker must be worth a shout, with his wittering on about swastikas to those famously gentle characters known as 1990s music press journalists.

I'd argue he was more naive than thick in that particular instance. He came from a prominent family of luvvie actors and took an interest in Sanskrit and Hindu mythology etc. Bit of a trust-fund twat maybe, but I don't think he's particularly stupid.

This dude, though...

[Glebe]

He will become a genius.