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Words and phrases that only newspaper headlines use

Started by Stoneage Dinosaurs, May 16, 2022, 01:12:25 PM

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Brundle-Fly

Quote from: imitationleather on May 16, 2022, 05:11:18 PMLOVE NEST for when two people in a relationship are papped coming out of a hotel.

LOVE RAT when a month later the man gets papped kissing another woman coming out of a different hotel.


Brundle-Fly

VILE is a word that is synonymous only with sex criminals. You rarely, if ever read it on a tabloid front page to describe a murderous armed robber or a world leader who has fucked over millions of people.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Brundle-Fly on May 16, 2022, 06:02:52 PMVILE is a word that is synonymous only with sex criminals. You rarely, if ever read it on a tabloid front page to describe a murderous armed robber or a world leader who has fucked over millions of people.

I think it's only the Scottish tabloids that regularly pair it with 'BEAST' though. Even better is the pamphlet, The Digger that's just a who's-who of gangsters and peado's.


idunnosomename

Damn i wanted LOVE RAT

but also

POOCH (usually pampered)

CHOW DOWN / TUCKED IN

Ferris


Blue Jam

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on May 16, 2022, 06:21:54 PMI think it's only the Scottish tabloids that regularly pair it with 'BEAST' though.



Blue Jam

#66
"splashed out". Usually a woman who has had a breast enlargement/reduction and has gone out and bought lots of nice new clothes she couldn't have worn before.

Also does anyone actually say they're "over the moon" about being pregnant or the football team they play for/manage, or do the tabloids just really like to print those words? I'm not sure I've heard anyone say they're "over the moon" about anything in real life.

canadagoose

Quote from: Jockice on May 16, 2022, 05:48:45 PMThe Daily Mail seems to think a lot of things are 'hilarious' as well. They usually aren't.
The Reach group exaggerates everything. "HILARIOUS prank and you won't believe how it happened" when someone snuck dogshit into their wife's handbag when she was having a bath or something. "Android users MUST do this by Friday or LOSE ACCESS TO YOUR PHONE" and it's some stupid rubbish about Android 2.4 or some obsolete guff. I hate them.

greencalx

"Premier" for "prime minister". I've never heard anyone say that.

shoulders

Quote from: Jockice on May 16, 2022, 05:42:27 PMMaddie McCann. Something her parents never called her,
Jamie Bulger. Something his parents never called him. It was always James, but Jamie sounded more babylike.
Robbie Wiliams. Something his parents never called him. Although his family actually knew/know him as the much shorter Bob. If only the tabloid writers had known that, eh?

Gazza - Something his parents never called him

Luther Vandross - Something his parents never called him

Rufus Wainwright - Something his parents never called him

Pubes Daz - Actually hang on

canadagoose

Quote from: Blue Jam on May 16, 2022, 07:16:12 PM"splashed out". Usually a woman who has had a breast enlargement/reduction and has gone out and bought lots of nice new clothes she couldn't have worn before.

Also does anyone actually say they're "over the moon" about being pregnant or the football team they play for/manage, or do the tabloids just really like to print those words? I'm not sure I've heard anyone say they're "over the moon" about anything in real life.
Has someone mentioned "pins" for legs yet? The headlines always sound like some greasy old berk getting a bonk-on over whatever celebrity is being described.

Blue Jam

Quote from: greencalx on May 16, 2022, 07:39:26 PM"Premier" for "prime minister". I've never heard anyone say that.

Premier also has a different and distinct meaning in some places, such as Canada. Best avoided to desribe a prime minister then, you're absolutely right.

Blue Jam

Quote from: Jockice on May 16, 2022, 05:42:27 PMMaddie McCann. Something her parents never called her,
Jamie Bulger. Something his parents never called him. It was always James, but Jamie sounded more babylike.
Robbie Wiliams. Something his parents never called him. Although his family actually knew/know him as the much shorter Bob. If only the tabloid writers had known that, eh?

Bob Mortimer was known as Robert until Vic Reeves* told him "Bob" sounded funnier.

Can't have a boy band member named "Bob". It's a name for comedians and goldfish and builders.

*Jim Moir**
** His family knew/know him as Roddy

Twonty Gostelow

Quote from: non capisco on May 16, 2022, 03:58:18 PMDo they still do the following or are these more of an 80s/90s thing?

'Flamboyant' = gay
Flamboyant actor Christopher Biggins

'Larger than life' = overweight
Larger than life, flamboyant actor Christopher Biggins

Roly-poly comedian, Bernard Manning.
Pint-sized comedian, Ronnie Corbett.

The aforementioned 'love rats' were usually DUBBED that in headlines.

Headline clichés that seem to be long gone include DEVIL DOGS (Rottweilers usually), LATCHKEY CHILDREN (never fully understood that one), and GYMSLIP MUMS (girl under 16 with a LOVE CHILD).

One of my space-saving favourites is MERCY DASH for ambulance journey etc.

shoulders

Never read any of those except DEVIL DOGS which is classic, put them down.

Ferris

Quote from: Blue Jam on May 16, 2022, 07:46:10 PMPremier also has a different and distinct meaning in some places, such as Canada. Best avoided to describe a prime minister then, you're absolutely right.

[ferris spies an opportunity to talk about Canadian governmental structure, starts rubbing his hands together]

Well you see it all comes down to regional centres of power as outlined in the British North American act (1867)...

[cont 5 paragraphs]

shoulders


Ferris

I don't think I've ever heard someone say "LOONY LEFT" in the real world.

Ferris

SHAME as a noun; as in "my rent boy SHAME".

Also the phrase "rent boy".

shoulders

Boys in blue

SCOTLAND YARD

You have to hand it to them

wrec

Quote from: Video Game Fan 2000 on May 16, 2022, 05:12:26 PMI truly loathe the Sun's "Now it's [pun on a person's or event's name]" constructions, they capture the real cringe of being spoken down to by a stupid rich person. I've never heard someone make a pun by saying NOW ITS SLOW LORIS JOHNSON (Johnson climbs tree) or NOW ITS JEREMY PARKSON (jeremy clarkson has a fatal stroke in a park)

Bin Liner for Bin Laden was a particularly bad one. They also use lots of puns that make no sense if you pronounce the letter R.

canadagoose

Quote from: wrec on May 16, 2022, 09:04:26 PMBin Liner for Bin Laden was a particularly bad one. They also use lots of puns that make no sense if you pronounce the letter R.
I imagine the Scottish Sun omits most of these puns. It's still terrible though.

Jockice

#82
Quote from: Blue Jam on May 16, 2022, 07:48:11 PMBob Mortimer was known as Robert until Vic Reeves* told him "Bob" sounded funnier.

Can't have a boy band member named "Bob". It's a name for comedians and goldfish and builders.

*Jim Moir**
** His family knew/know him as Roddy


Not only is Norman Cook's real name Quentin, fellow Housemartin Stan Cullimore's real name is Ian, but Paul Heaton started calling them by these new names (apparently) to make them sound more working class. Only Hugh Whitaker escaped with his name unscathed. And look what happened to him, eh?

Stan Collymore meanwhile really is called Stanley so I bet he was chuffed when a specky geek from a jangly guitar group suddenly appeared with almost the same name.

Dr Rock

TOT-KILLER CAGED - ANGUISHED SIS, 17, DEMANDS TOUGH NEW LAWS ON LOUTS

Dr Rock

DO-GOODERS PLEAD FOR TOT-KILLERS RIGHTS AS JAILBIRDS BOAST OF HOT-POT PLOT

shoulders


Blue Jam

Quote from: Jockice on May 16, 2022, 09:18:06 PMNot only is Norman Cook's real name Quentin, fellow Housemartin Stan Cullimore's real name is Ian, but Paul Heaton started calling them by these new names (apparently) to make them sound more working class. Only Hugh Whitaker escaped with his name unscathed. And look what happened to him, eh?

Stan Collymore meanwhile really is called Stanley so I bet he was chuffed when a specky geek from a jangly guitar group suddenly appeared with almost the same name.

I have just remembered that one of Take That is a Gary. Can't have a boybander called "Gary" can you? I bet that was only allowed because be was the songwriter. And possibly the least legendary of all Garys.

Tony Tony Tony

Haven't seen 'confirmed Batchelor' for a good few years. Used to be a favourite for celebs who everyone knew as gay but would sue the ass off any newspaper saying so explicitly.

Cuntbeaks


Quote from: Jockice on May 16, 2022, 09:18:06 PMNot only is Norman Cook's real name Quentin

You mean the 'Praise You hitmaker'?

That's another one hacks seem to like - Elton John is the 'Candle in the Wind hitmaker' and Rod Stewart is the 'Maggie May hitmaker' despite them having been public figures for more than half a century. Rihanna is the 'Umbrella hitmaker'.

I'd ban this phrase unless they agreed to use only references to their smallest and least successful hits - Elton could be the 'Who Wears These Shoes? hitmaker', for instance.