What happened to Noel Edmunds, you don't ask?

[Phoenix Lazarus]

He became a Kiwi landlord.

https://www.stuff.co.nz/national/300993222/lord-of-the-manor-british-tv-star-noel-edmonds-30m-property-buyup-divides-south-island-village

[jobotic]

How very spiritual of him.

Good to know he's a cunt wherever he lives.

Edmonds

[Fambo Number Mive]

...Edmonds has a car collection which includes a Land Rover Armageddon, complete with a public address system to blast music, as well as lights and sirens.

The number plates of his various vehicles reveal his sense of humour – he likes to play with the number 4 and the letter Q (as in, "f... you") – which people point out hardly fits with his positivity message. Edmonds says it's just a bit of fun...

Legend Noel

[superthunderstingcar]

Are we sure yer Edmonds didn't end up in New Zealand after fleeing the UK for some reason? I haven't seen Clive Anderson on the telly for a while.

[Jasha]

He gets that people were wary of him when he first arrived.

"I totally sympathise with the suspicion," he says. "When people are ignorant they become more suspicious.

Neol's lost none of his tact or charm

[Mr Banlon]

He justs wants to be a cunty king from a fairytale doesn't he?

[shoulders]

Has anyone ever seen him with A Friend or A Partner

[Blumf]

Has anyone ever seen him with A Friend or A Partner

Wasn't it a girlfriend who got him into phoning up pets?

[Alberon]

Odd, odd bloke.

[TommyTurnips]

This will be abandoned just like Blobbyland.

[Norton Canes]

He could start a new game show it could be called Sheep, Sheep, Sheep

[Norton Canes]

Because he's in New Zealand

[Butchers Blind]

If you call 01 811 8055 you can still get through to Noel.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Noels House Party takes on a bleak new tone if you know he was slumlording in Crinkley Bottom and everyone who turned up did so because they were obliged to keep in his good books

"noel the wifes sick and the baby needs medicine... i cant pay this week...but...ill do anything...if it helps...i still have my body... "
"GET IN THE BLOBBY SUIT"

[Mr Banlon]

Because he's in New Zealand

"Organised commercial bungee jumping began with the New Zealander, A J Hackett, who made his first jump from Auckland's Greenhithe Bridge in 1986"

[Red82]

He's currently mudding in a blobby suit.  Chomping at the bit to appear in the road ,in front of some random dame.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Has anyone ever seen him with A Friend or A Partner

what happened to his out and proud doll fetish

did i fucking hallucinate that

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Are we sure yer Edmonds didn't end up in New Zealand after fleeing the UK for some reason?

Well he didn't end up there by staying in Blighty, did he?

[PlanktonSideburns]

Looks like the cunt jabba eats in star wars

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Looks like the cunt jabba eats in star wars

dont mention the noel edmonds vore, pike

[Goldentony]

how does this cunt get in? they're famously picky about letting anyone in arent they? since Australia got flooded with racist English electricians

[Gurke and Hare]

The mystery tag partner can only be Neol.

[The Bumlord]

£86 million!

Cunt

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Our once-penal Antipodean unloading of undesirables persists by self-selection.

[Lemming]

Oh my god, it's actually beyond Partridge levels:

Sources familiar with what happened say Edmonds arrived at his neighbours' one evening with an offer.

"He said 'take it or leave it, I'm not leaving here until you give me an answer'," the source says. "He wouldn't leave them alone to discuss it, he just sat at the kitchen table, he caught them at a weak moment."

"Moving day was another story. He stood at the fence line... and he just made their life miserable. He just stood there and watched and every hour or so they were getting calls from their lawyer saying, 'he wants possession and he wants it now'.

"He was going to start deducting money from the purchase price if they weren't out - they had an hour."

Even does the Partridge "some people might say [my true motivation], but they're wrong" thing:

It's simple, Edmonds says – he loves the place and wants to do his bit for the natural environment.

"I'm here... to give, to make a difference. My love has always been the environment, the countryside.

"I haven't just been buying property for the sake of it."

[Phoenix Lazarus]

So is Blobby roaming wild in the country there?

[PlanktonSideburns]

Blobbies are very much second class citizens there sad to say, noel has actually secured plans to build a hotel on an ancient blobby burial ground

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Idea for new TV show pitch:

Noel Zealand

[Famous Mortimer]

how does this cunt get in? they're famously picky about letting anyone in arent they? since Australia got flooded with racist English electricians

The article mentions something to do with the amount he was prepared to invest.

[Cold Meat Platter]

I've been building up a collection of Edmondsalia over the last year or so.

This is his "annual" format autobiography from 1978 that I got off of Amazon for basically postage. Pure, unrefined, Partridge.



And look! It's signed!



I wonder who Carol and Sadie were and why they got rid of this book.

This is an abomination:



Just the worst wacky off-the-wall zanyness possible

Help me.