The King, King Charles, has Cancer

[Alberon]

The Royals did all start dropping like flies when Andrew got into his spot of non-sweaty bother. Maybe he thinks the only way back into the limelight he craves is to remove the obstacles to the top job.

Obviously, he's either too dense to realise Catherine isn't in line to the throne or he missed at the first attempt at William.

[Asclepius]

The Royals did all start dropping like flies when Andrew got into his spot of non-sweaty bother. Maybe he thinks the only way back into the limelight he craves is to remove the obstacles to the top job.

Obviously, he's either too dense to realise Catherine isn't in line to the throne or he missed at the first attempt at William.

Is Phil not in line ahead of Andrew though?

[Alberon]

No, though he should be. Just a consort, like Kate.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

he tried to throw cancer on bald and missed, and it went all down his wife?

https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2Fwk5wktu5w5q31.jpg%3Fwidth%3D640%26crop%3Dsmart%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3Dc85e7b2a705837c681b96e0f38d360eb7563e190

[Asclepius]

Fùuuuuuuuuùűck

Could it be Andrew with uranium-based gifts finishing them off?

[Alberon]

he tried to throw cancer on bald and missed, and it went all down his wife?

Painted the wrong dildo with uranium? I dunno.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

THIS IS NO A PLACE OF HONOR
NO GREAT DEED IS COMMEMORATED HERE

[Asclepius]

Painted the wrong dildo with uranium? I dunno.

Bleak. Bleak. Bleak.

Why would Andrew Windsor do this?

Did Meghan make him?

[Video Game Fan 2000]

*sad piano music*
*harry clutches meghan's hand*
i realised then...we all have our own traumas, we're all on different journeys... so i... that's why meghan and i are using our platform for a one time offer of therapeutic Sussex brand uranium painted dildo to help people...confront... their subconscious bias and heal from trauma.... all profits to our foundation for healing
*meghan smiles in slow motion*
*camera pan to disabled children playing to 'All Together Now' by the Farm*

[Asclepius]

*sad piano music*
*harry clutches meghan's hand*
i realised then...we all have our own traumas, we're all on different journeys... so i... that's why meghan and i are using our platform for a one time offer of therapeutic Sussex brand uranium painted dildo to help people...confront... their subconscious bias and heal from trauma.... all profits to our foundation for healing
*meghan smiles in slow motion*
*camera pan to disabled children playing to 'All Together Now' by the Farm*

You're definitely blaming the Meghan Mobster for it then?

Which kids has she targeted? Apparently it's more than one. Maybe they spared the weird one.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

she gave everyone glow in the dark reiki healing mood rings for christmas

[Asclepius]

she gave everyone glow in the dark reiki healing mood rings for christmas

You say 'everyone'. I think you're right.

Louis too.

Animals.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

i heard on the grapevine meghan was in the zoo earlier that day putting strange rocks up the elephants bums

[Asclepius]

i heard on the grapevine meghan was in the zoo earlier that day putting strange rocks up the elephants bums

I heard that Meghan went to the Wales' kids' party at the local soft play centre. This is tragic. Won't someone think of all of the future actors, singers and centre-right MPs affected by this catastrophe?

[superthunderstingcar]

The Royals did all start dropping like flies when Andrew got into his spot of non-sweaty bother. Maybe he thinks the only way back into the limelight he craves is to remove the obstacles to the top job.

When Emily Maitlis asked him about this he said:
"And yet I know not how to get the crown,
For many lives stand between me and home:
And I, like one lost in a thorny wood,
That rends the thorns and is rent with the thorns,
Seeking a way and straying from the way;
Not knowing how to find the open air,
But toiling desperately to find it out,
Torment myself to catch the English crown:
And from that torment I will free myself,
Or hew my way out with a bloody axe.
Why, I can smile, and murder whiles I smile,
And cry 'Content' to that which grieves my heart,
And wet my cheeks with artificial tears,
And frame my face to all occasions.
I'll drown more sailors than the mermaid shall;
I'll slay more gazers than the basilisk;
I'll play the orator as well as Nestor,
Deceive more slily than Ulysses could,
And, like a Sinon, take another Troy.
I can add colours to the chameleon,
Change shapes with Proteus for advantages,
And set the murderous Machiavel to school.
Can I do this, and cannot get a crown?
Tut, were it farther off, I'll pluck it down."

[Video Game Fan 2000]

it is not something to look up with undilated pleasure, it has become an anus horribilis

[jobotic]

I don't know what Kevin Pietersen has to do with all this.

I've been wondering the same

[Phoenix Lazarus]

(the not too distant; bereaved Wills releases a song)

"Cancer, and I need to marry, and if you want an Uncle Pedo with BS 'bout no BO, but for who it's all no sweat; and if you want in-laws Megan and Harry, who'll trash you as a royal for all they can get.....Ohhhhh, take my ha-a-andddd.  Come with me baby to cloud-cuckoo land; but if you don't find it, as sweet as can be, livin' in a cir-cus like meeee....then, float, float on; float on, float onnnnn....."

[beanheadmcginty]

William already daydreaming of a future where his wife ends up balder than he is.

[thr0b]

William already daydreaming of a future where his wife ends up balder than he is.

She will never be balder than he is. Even if she loses all of her hair and he still has some, he will still be more bald.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

William already daydreaming of a future where his wife ends up balder than he is.

phwoar

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Nothing Au Pairs To You

wait thats bad. POST

(the not too distant; bereaved Wills releases a song)

"Cancer, and I need to marry, and if you want an Uncle Pedo with BS 'bout no BO, but for who it's all no sweat; and if you want in-laws Megan and Harry, who'll trash you as a royal for all they can get.....Ohhhhh, take my ha-a-andddd.  Come with me baby to cloud-cuckoo land; but if you don't find it, as sweet as can be, livin' in a cir-cus like meeee....then, float, float on; float on, float onnnnn....."

stick in a cancer in my wife
i'll get a suitcase from the van

[Urinal Cake]

I do like the sort of veiled threat and shaming the media is making to celebrities who dared speculate on Kate. Like this could happen to you!

Like this mess was caused by the coverup by KP. First the photo, then the sighting, then the video. And then pretending it was all naive and innocent.

[TheAssassin]

They go with what they believe their audience want more.

So the BBC site in the UK leads with Kate. If you switch to the international site via a VPN, the lead story was the concert attack.

It's true, bbc.com and bbc.co.uk are almost like two different entities.

[Mr Farenheit]

[Fambo Number Mive]

I didn't realise he was that tall.

[Jasha]

If you look closely you can see that bench has been photoshopped in

[Harry Badger]

I've been wondering the same

Well, his former captain did once describe him as an absolute cancer. At least that's what I think he said.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Gouty's missed the Maundy church service due to being "too fucked to worship"

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-68678904

Still, he might have missed Maundy, but he'll no doubt soon be enjoying Mourn-Day, eh readers?

[Blue Jam]

He praised those who "extend the hand of friendship, especially in a time of need"

Is he extending his sausage fingers to let poor starving people have a nibble? That's nice.