Welcome to Wonka World (Glasgow edition)

[kalowski]

It was billed as a "celebration of chocolate in all its delightful forms" but ended up a tragic tale worthy of an Oompa-Loompa song.

Police were called to a venue in Glasgow last weekend after furious families who had spent hundreds of pounds on the Willy's Chocolate Experience complained about the "awful" event that left children in tears and was abruptly cancelled midway through.

The event organiser, House of Illuminati, which charged up to £35 for tickets, promised an "immersive experince" based on the Warner Bros film Wonka, which stars Timothée Chalamet as the young chocolate entrepreneur and was an instant hit with children and grownups over the festive period.

The event publicity promised giant mushrooms, candy canes and chocolate fountains, along with special audio and visual effects, all narrated by dancing Oompa-Loompas – the tiny, orange men who power Wonka's chocolate factory in the Roald Dahl book which inspired the prequel film.


But instead, when eager families turned up to the address in Whiteinch, an industrial area of Glasgow, they discovered a sparsely decorated warehouse with a scattering of plastic props, a small bouncy castle and some backdrops pinned against the walls.

After an immediate and angry response from early arrivals who demanded their money back, organisers called a halt to the event only hours after opening, but failed to inform later attenders, some of whom had travelled substantial distances and are now demanding their train costs be refunded too.

A Facebook group has been set up by furious families, who described their children crying with disappointment at the event which was scheduled to run on Saturday and Sunday and lambasted the event as a "farce" and the organisers as "cowboys".

Police Scotland confirmed that officers had been called to the venue after complaints.

Paul Connell, an actor who had been hired by the company to perform at the event, told STV News of his shock when he arrived at the warehouse and realised that the rubric he had been given was impossible to fulfil because none of the promised props or special effects were there.

"My heart sank looking around ... I just felt sad because I was aware of how many kids were going to be coming through.

"We were told to hand the kids a couple of jelly beans and a quarter cup of lemonade at the end."

Connell said that when he asked the organisers what he should do with the script he was told to improvise.

In a statement, House of Illuminati apologised to customers for the "very stressful and frustrating day".

"Unfortunately, last minute we were let down in many areas of our event and tried our best to continue on and push through and now realise we probably should have cancelled first thing this morning instead," it said.

The organisers confirmed that full refunds would be given to customers, which could take up to 10 days.

L: What was advertised                                                                              R: What was experienced

[Norton Canes]

Er...

[Sebastian Cobb]

Holy shit. I was in a bar last night waiting for friends to turn up and overheard a guy at the next table telling someone he was an actor at this when it all kicked off.

[kalowski]

Er

Wonka is not a Santa.

[Midas]

The event publicity promised giant mushrooms, candy canes and chocolate fountains, along with special audio and visual effects, all narrated by dancing Oompa-Loompas

Imagine actually expecting this

No refunds

[Kankurette]

At least Dashcon had a ball pit.

[Butchers Blind]

Why do people keep falling for this con?

[Kankurette]

The comments on r/Scotland and r/Glasgow are priceless. Some loon called Billy Coull behind it, any Scottish CaBBers know of him?

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Why do people keep falling for this con?

i paid £100 to drop my special needs child down a disused chimney because the advert said there was a grinch at the bottom

when i called the agency to complain they offered me a furry green coffin in compensation THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE compoface.jpg

[H-O-W-L]

[BJBMK2]

^^

Not sure about that new Breaking Bad reboot myself...

[steve98]

That's the first I've seen that picture - It's amazing. She seems to be the only member of staff there; and they've had to fill her full of valium or similar to get her through it.

 I've never felt prouder to be a Glaswegian. You can keep your Winter Wonderlands and your Easter Extravaganzas; this is the absolute dog's bollocks; this'll never be surpassed.
 

[Midas]

Incredible

[Kankurette]

Oompa loompa doompity digs
I can't be arsed, does anyone want cigs?

[Video Game Fan 2000]

oompa loompa ay iy yay ay ay ay
im handing in me notice today

[Midas]

oompa loompa do-ba-dee-doo
i've got some des-o-lation for you

[Video Game Fan 2000]

just off to the right is del boy in a velvet purple top hand, nodding enthusiastically

[Video Game Fan 2000]

the girl from the solway firth spaceman image let herself go to woodstock apparently

[Midas]

del boy falls through the wonka bar

[Video Game Fan 2000]

new photo released from the Loveless sessions set to disappoint thousands of fifty year old men

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Reboot : A Pornographic Parody

[Kankurette]

just off to the right is del boy in a velvet purple top hand, nodding enthusiastically

Willy Plonka

[H-O-W-L]

if you want to view
paradise
simply look around
and you will

[Video Game Fan 2000]

this was going to be spectacular, but grandpa joe spent the budget on coke

[Butchers Blind]

King Charles's homeopath.
"How's the cancer treatment going, your majesty?"

[steve98]

I'm wondering - while we've got the eyes of the world on us - if Glasgow could cash-in; I'm thinking possibly a ... Krankies Extravaganza. I know quite a few people who might pay good money to see such a thing; if it was shit enough.

[Catalogue Trousers]

ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Has anyone got a link to that Facebook page? I could do with a good guffaw.

edit ooh never mind 'ere we go

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1128277194850803/?hoisted_section_header_type=recently_seen&multi_permalinks=1128704798141376

[Butchers Blind]

I'm wondering - while we've got the eyes of the world on us - if Glasgow could cash-in;

Welcome to 'Ned World' - "The Buckie made me do it"

[Kankurette]

Augustus Gloop drowns in a tank of Irn Bru.

[Catalogue Trousers]

Frankie King said: "Ripping adults off is bad enough but this is emotional trauma for children and an unforgivable new low."

Christ, suck it up. You were ripped off. Maybe if you hadn't allowed your brats to be such a bunch of Veruca Salts...