Welcome to Wonka World (Glasgow edition)

[GoblinAhFuckScary]

Was trying to think what comedy bit Starmer mentioning this a week later reminded me of. I've realised it was from the live performance of Stewart Lee's Snowflake/Tornado I saw, but I don't think this made it into the filmed version. When he was quoting the journalist who described him as 'the rancid tip of the cesspit' he got stuck on saying 'the cess' whilst making a flat, stroking hand gesture for ages, over and over, obviously intentionally, whilst admonishing the audience for finding it so funny¹.

He questioned whether he'd come up with a new meme, and if people up and down the country would all soon be doing "the cess". And then, a year later, Michael Gove would stand up in parliament and announce it was time for parliamentary recess, or should I say, parliamentary 'the cess'! to the delight of braying MPs.


¹ Similar to the 'fish and crabs' bit from Carpet Remnant World.

this is very good. shame he seemed rather bored with the brighton crowd

[Theoretical Dentist]

There's supposedly going to be a musical about this now.

[thr0b]

There's supposedly going to be a musical about this now.

Graham Linehan cries.

[JesusAndYourBush]

Channel 5 documentary on in half an hour...

[Cuntbeaks]

Genuinely wish this would just fuck off and die.

[idunnosomename]

I think Coull was interviewed properly in the channel 5 programme. I tried to read Glasgow Live page about it but I drowned in a lake of Temu adverts.

[PaulTMA]

Absolutely no sign of the cancelled Wonka guy in the C5 show.  Hilarious really

[JesusAndYourBush]

Absolutely no sign of the cancelled Wonka guy in the C5 show.  Hilarious really

Billy Coull? He was in it. He was the dejected looking guy. They only showed a few little bits of interview, you could easily have missed it.

[Captain Z]

Channel 5 have made some decent documentaries recently, but this was not one of them. Obviously thrown together very hastily to try and catch the wave of interest before it fades completely, it was largely just talking-head segments from people who tweeted about it at the time, repeating the contents of those tweets out loud, interspersed with the mobile phone footage we've all seen already. Billy Coul said nothing of any substance, looked down at the ground alot, did sadface half-hearted apology, basically admitted he used AI to "check the grammar and spelling of" (i.e. entirely write) his books, before the documentary moved onto boohoo look at all these death threats.

Was wondering how the matter of the guy who played Wonka would be covered, and the answer was by literally not mentioning him at all (as far as I saw, I was only half-watching).

[BlodwynPig]

Dumbing down reaches a new nadir

[PaulTMA]

Absolutely no sign of the cancelled Wonka guy in the C5 show.  Hilarious really

No, I meant the Wonka actor guy who got accused of grooming.  He did a Reddit AMA and it appears he got cancelled the very same day.  Looked like he was absolutely loving the attention and believed it would be his rocket to the moon

[steve98]

Believed it would be his rocket to the moon

It kindda was.

[dissolute ocelot]

I'd hope the documentary would feature some staged re-enactments. I guess we'll have to wait for the movie though. Or the video game?

[Alberon]

Don't forget the stage show!

[Senior Baiano]

Believe wonka guy was on the train down to London to appear on This Morning or something, but by the time he arrived they didn't want him on screen

[steve98]

Believe wonka guy was on the train down to London to appear on This Morning or something, but by the time he arrived they didn't want him on screen

It's a major disaster for him: his career as an actor/extra is OVER; and who knows what miseries the future has in store for him, the ginger nonce. Let's just hope he doesn't feel the need to do himself in (Even if that would make the wonky Wonka story even more poignant)

[ajsmith2]

Or maybe he'll rethink his life and spend the rest of it attempting to redeem himself in obscurity selflessly as best he can given his unreversible wrongdoings, John Profumo style.

[ajsmith2]

Maybe in his remaining years, 20 30 years from now he will go on save or significantly enrich someone else's life. Not redeemed for his past wrongdoings, but it makes it complicated to quantify.

[Noodle Lizard]

Very bad documentary, which is unsurprising given the turnaround. It is astonishing/hilarious how the First Wonka's 15 minutes of fame didn't even last 15 minutes. Rose to prominence, was immediately #cancelled and written out of the story entirely by the time the rushjob documentary was released not a month later. He'd just been confirming on a Reddit AMA that, yes, of course he'd agree to be on Big Fat Quiz of the Year when they inevitably ask him!

I'm not quite sure what to make of Coull. I felt as though he was playing up his awkwardness and struggles in order to elicit sympathy, and there's too much history of scammy behaviour to believe he's just a wayward soul who made a mistake. I think it's more likely to be a combination of someone buying into the toxic entrepreneur mentality without any of the basic skills required to pull something like that off. So what would otherwise be a socially-acceptable ripoff (like timeshares or pyramid schemes) becomes a spectacular disaster which destroyed the hopes and dreams of children across Glasgow. He's not a Billy McFarland, but that's the sort of person he'd want to be, which isn't much better.

[PlanktonSideburns]

This whole thing would be an unremarkable 5 min bit on the apprentice

[Glebe]

Can't help thinking that Wonka World needed a Helichockter in it...

[idunnosomename]

Hooray!

[Ian Drunken Smurf]

Loving it. I've just snorted my coffee guffawing. Top work Glebe!

[Glebe]

Hooray!

🙂

Loving it. I've just snorted my coffee guffawing. Top work Glebe!

👍😁

[Glebe]

The experience might also have been enhanced by the inclusion of a chocolate Harry Kane and a huge lamb: