I've tried

[salr]

I don't know what to do now. I jst need someone to hear my voice. to listen. I've been addicted for 20+ years, mostly alcohol. I dont see a way out of this i dont know a way out. It's like im listening to 'castle on the hill' on a loop at the moment. I remember being young. I remember being full of promise. fuck that was 20 yrs ago. If i was brave enough to do violence to myself i would have already killed myself. I've slashed at my neck, i've slashed at my wrists, ive taked overdoses. I still wake up. in hospital. then u have to fucking explain yourself. If there was an off-switch, a switch i could flick to shut my brain down, i would have pushed it already.


hmm... I do not know what to expect when i make this post.... I want someone to hear me... I want to be heard. more than that. to be understood. u know ive talked to ppl about this before and they dont fucking get it. when i try to talk to my dad hes like shud down. he doesnt hear me. when i try to talk to my mum shes like 'well stop drinking then'. as if it s that fucking simple. hm

[Zero Gravitas]

I tried that snoop dog wine the other day, not exactly wine apparently - more like wines and chemicals and bits of wood.

But an interesting flavour - AND THE COLOUR! THE COLOUR you would not BELIEVE!

So maybe only limit yourself to celebrity novelty wine, as you try to find them all they'll get harder to source, tracking down a bottle of Gary Barlow Organic in 2026 [2027? depends when you make it down the list that far] is going to be hard - so it's like a natural weaning off the booze.

Danger would be Post Malone: Maison No. 9 turns out to be very good and you can't stop - but if this happens you really should speak to a professional.

[idunnosomename]

A lot of empathy with your situation from me, some random cunt on the internet.

Of course you can't just stop drinking, it's really dangerous to do that. I could suggest you make a GP appointment and get referred to help? Maybe too fuckin obvious. But there is help out there. In some corners

[salr]

haha. i cant develop a wine habit because the wine i drink is so fucking shit... I remember before my parents kicked me out, drinking my mums wine and that was actually 'nice' but the stuff i drink now is so fucking rough. It just filles a hole

[Zero Gravitas]

Damn, Snoop dog wine is like £12.00 a bottle, and I imagine the other celebrity-face-juice is going to be at least as expensive.

Maybe just skip to the seeking professional help then? Alcohol - even celebrity branded alcohol - can be hard to kick alone.

[salr]

A lot of empathy with your situation from me, some random cunt on the internet.

Of course you can't just stop drinking, it's really dangerous to do that. I could suggest you make a GP appointment and get referred to help?

Thank You hm ive been under the care of the local drug-alcohol recovery place, n they actually discharged me. I suppose they know me better than i know me. im not ready to quit. this is goinmg to killo me.



liver failure. I've not see n someone go through it before but i know its fucking rough. at the same time i don't have the strenght to stop.

[salr]

Damn, Snoop dog wine is like £12.00 a bottle, and I imagine the other celebrity-face-juice is going to be at least as expensive.

Maybe just skip to the seeking professional help then? Alcohol - even celebrity branded alcohol - can be hard to kick alone.

i 'need' 4 bottles a day at moment, i cant afford to spend that much...

[shiftwork2]

I tried that snoop dog wine the other day, not exactly wine apparently - more like wines and chemicals and bits of wood.

But an interesting flavour - AND THE COLOUR! THE COLOUR you would not BELIEVE!

So maybe only limit yourself to celebrity novelty wine, as you try to find them all they'll get harder to source, tracking down a bottle of Gary Barlow Organic in 2026 [2027? depends when you make it down the list that far] is going to be hard - so it's like a natural weaning off the booze.

Danger would be Post Malone: Maison No. 9 turns out to be very good and you can't stop - but if this happens you really should speak to a professional.

Massive cunt energy.

[Zero Gravitas]

i 'need' 4 bottles a day at moment, i cant afford to spend that much...

Not a good fit for your situation, I'm happy to admit that now.

Massive cunt energy.

Sounds more like a gamersupps thing than a celebrity wine.

[salr]

ty shiftwork2. i know what i have to do. i have to go back to cgl. I cannot do this on my own. I guess thats why it's 1am and im posting here.


but....   but...

[Kankurette]

Did t you do this before? Get drunk and make a load of random posts?

[Underturd]

We're hearing you salr, keep talking.

[Zero Gravitas]

Why are you thanking shiftwork2!? They've given you even less of a solution than I have!

[salr]

Did t you do this before? Get drunk and make a load of random posts?

hehe, i bet i have yeah. and i did not learn.

on some level i know i have to go back to cgl.

but they discharged me u know. they actually could not help me.

edit: Zero Gravitas: that does not help me!!!! I already know how to get fucking shitty cheap wine, thats sort of the problem ;)

[Zero Gravitas]

CHEAP!?

https://www.independent.co.uk/extras/indybest/food-drink/snoop-dogg-cali-red-wine-review-b2435026.html

Relatively affordable

That's not cheap, it may be euphemism for cheap to some people, but that's not cheap!

[salr]

I know what i have to do.

 I have to stop.

Its very easy to say that at the moment and hard to do.

So i had 6 days wthout alcohol recently. The first time i faced a low point my first thought was ' get some fucking vodka'.

It is always going to be this way. I need a way to cope with life thats not booze.

[Zero Gravitas]

That's a achievement right there salr, you've had the brass ones [one?] to go down the right road.

[salr]

you've had the brass ones [one?]

Yea... about that... I know what i have to do. I'm sorry for shitting up this forum. I don't mean to make this a worse place for other ppl to read. I know what i have to do. i have to go back to cgl.

I just......

i wanted to be heard. i wanted to be understood. If there is anyone else going though a struggle w alcohol right now i fucking feel you.

[Glebe]

I hear you salr and I'm sorry that you've been going through this. Have you spoken to your GP? What's the story with your local support systems? In any case lots of love and hugs and keep us in loop.❤️

@Zero Gravitas mate I dunno what's up with you but those comments are not helpful mate.

[Barry Admin]

I know what i have to do.

 I have to stop.

Its very easy to say that at the moment and hard to do.

So i had 6 days wthout alcohol recently. The first time i faced a low point my first thought was ' get some fucking vodka'.

It is always going to be this way. I need a way to cope with life thats not booze.

You need to distract yourself when those moments come. I spoke to my mate Davie one time and said I'd go get him an old gaming system I had, to keep himself occupied. By the time I got back to his flat next door, he was out and on the way to the offies. He couldn't be fucked waiting 10 minutes to be able to play the racing games he used to enjoy.

He was an ex heroin addict who turned to booze cause he thought it would be safer. And he turned yellow and shook like a shitting dog and was in and out of hospital.

We've heard you mate, now listen to yourself and do it instead of talking about it. Good luck <3

[salr]

@Zero Gravitas mate I dunno what's up with you but those comments are not helpful mate.

nah its cool i need some levity. cgl is my local drug/alcohol place. they said i can go back there when i need (but i have to be ready to quit i guess)

Edit: ty badmin. I know what i have to do. Its just...i can be sober weeks sometimes and the first time i hit a low point....


i need another way to cope is all.

[Glebe]

In any case best of luck mate.✊️

[Zero Gravitas]

Yea... about that... I know what i have to do. I'm sorry for shitting up this forum. I don't mean to make this a worse place for other ppl to read.

Nah, you do right slar, No doubt plenty of posters and lurkers are struggling with similar issues, this is probably a service to them in a way - like when they take misbehaving youths on prison visits have have the convicts scream at them.

@Zero Gravitas mate I dunno what's up with you but those comments are not helpful mate.

I've given the man one single piece of serious advice! You'd prefer I bore him with unadorned "You should speak to your GP"s?

[Kankurette]

What Neil said.

[salr]

I've given the man one single piece of serious advice! You'd prefer I bore him with unadorned "You should speak to your GP"s?

I mean this is like that bit in the second trainspotting film, after they have run up that mountain and spud is like' you think i havent heard this a thousand fucking times b4' ;)

@Glebe, what ur telling me is good advice, but i already know it. It is doing it that is hard. taking that step. showing vulerability. asking 4 help. I know what i have to do. i suppose before i even started this thread i knew what i had to do. I just wanted to vent or smthng.


thx 4 hearing me.

[Underturd]

That's okay, hopefully it's helped. Best of luck mate.

[salr]

its like... i remember being in love , i sort of remember how that felt. It was a very fucking strong feeling. she was a sex worker.... it was ugly... but


that was 2003. april 2003.


i dont know how im supposed to fucking feel now. I've tryed ever witch way. I've tried everything. the only thing that works is alcohol. nothing else fills this hole.

fuck-it post.

[Zero Gravitas]

...i remember being in love...she was a sex worker...

Hate to bring him up again, but Snoop was emphatic on this point.

[salr]

Hate to bring him up again, but Snoop was emphatic on this point.

aw mate im trying to be serious her u know. I've never felt that strongly for a person before or since. It was fucking painful turning away from her. I was already a 'heavyish' drinker by then but... i wonder. if i had not fallen in love maybe my drinking would b ok

i'm looking for excuses...

[salr]

I don't see a way out of this, i have tryed so many times.

My addictions are going to kill me and i almost don't fucking care. I have tryed so many effing times and nothink sticks. I know my liver is going to fail and i almost dont care. I just want an ending now. I just want a way out, even if its rough.