Kaned

[Butchers Blind]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-68625041

Waltham Forest Council allocated £7,200 in 2019 and 2020 to have the work made of the Chingford-raised footballer, but it has been kept in storage since.

It's not Cristiano Ronaldo statue bad but there's something off about it.

[Zero Gravitas]

[There Be Rumblings]

Bicentennial Man

[gilbertharding]

[Butchers Blind]

[Buelligan]

It's not Cristiano Ronaldo statue bad but there's something off about it.

Starmer is fatter and has no beard but they've deffo caught that uncanny valley look of his.

[chip]

Kaned! the Musical - featuring all-new songs inspired by Blasted, Crave and 4.48 Psychosis!

[Fambo Number Mive]

Looks like it is made of chocolate.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUVGMvRuU-o&t=186s

[touchingcloth]

[Norton Canes]

He carved this statue, no-one will like

[Kankurette]

'Is it made of shit?' - an Arsenal fan somewhere, probably

[GoblinAhFuckScary]

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/324813756432

[DelurkedToHelp]

"30 grams of salt
Add while pot's still steaming"

[dr beat]

That statue looks like its going to need a lot of polishing.

In fact you could say its going to need a right huffery buffing and no mistake!

[dissolute ocelot]

The head looks too big and the folds on the shirt are weird. Should have given the socks a bit more texture; could have given all of it a bit more texture. Def looks unfinished.

[Aaron500]

The thing is, the good sculptures (like what Arsenal have) depict their subjects in familiar poses of celebration (arms aloft, knee sliding etc).

Kane's has him sat down holding a football. Which he is not famous for doing.

[Kankurette]

That statue looks like its going to need a lot of polishing.

In fact you could say its going to need a right huffery buffing and no mistake!

The Peaky Gooners will be drawing on it with Sharpies.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

spas for the spa god

[studpuppet]

[studpuppet]

[checkoutgirl]

That's why Michaelangelo was such a genius. With all the technological advancements we have now and they can't make a statue even 1% of what he was cranking out 500 years ago.

[shoulders]

That's why Michaelangelo was such a genius. With all the technological advancements we have now and they can't make a statue even 1% of what he was cranking out 500 years ago.

A carver of that goddam calibre needs a Medal Honor

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

choglud?

[madhair60]

[Video Game Fan 2000]

That's why Michaelangelo was such a genius. With all the technological advancements we have now and they can't make a statue even 1% of what he was cranking out 500 years ago.

you could say he was Abel to do better than this

[Jerrykeshton]

Chairman Mao?

[checkoutgirl]

And he didn't even have the technological advances we have now. Just twigs and a bit of mud. Greatest fackin sculpturer this fackin country ever produced. And this was 500 years ago too.

[checkoutgirl]

Can you imagine the guy who did the rubbish Ronaldo sculpture had to do it 500 years ago. It would be even worse.

[falafel]

Looks like all his clothes are made of rubber and glued to his skin, even the nominally creased football shirt. Level of detail similar to a Lindt easter bunny. Football boots more like studded gardening clogs. Maybe designed to look more characterful once tarnished?

Also think that footballers and sportspeople seem to be disproportionately represented in the annals of contemporary statuary. Some do make a big mark on the culture, and some achievements are mindboggling, but surely the majority will be totally forgotten in forty years or so.  Particularly with team competitive sports.  It's a collective legacy, a reminder that healthy competition is good, that individual greatness is possible on one's own terms, that the human body is a marvel.

Now I'm wondering how many of the extant statues from antiquity represent sportspeople who were famous at the time (and in the manner of their time). Philosophers and artists are more straightforward, but not so sure about discus throwers.

Tangent.