Can I borrow a feeling

[Dex Sawash]

Bonnieacrossthestreet* had a heart attack and was unconscious/vegetative for 10 days before dying yesterday. Wife's in bits as they done walks together and whatnot. No patience for it because of broken brain.
Tips on pretending to care, if not actually caring, management of deaduns in phone contacts, etc all welcome.




*that's how she is in my phone contacts

[Buelligan]

Be kind to your wife - I'm sure you're extremely kind to your wife anyway, you strike me as a man who is kind to his wife, children, family, even to dead people.

Can't help with the phone, I don't dabble.  Maybe try throwing it in the bin as a tribute.  Went to the funeral once of a very dear friend, two friends, they were young and it was untimely.  Graveyard was on a hill, overlooking the sea.  One of the dead peoples' brother threw his hat into the grave in rage.  Found that deeply moving.  Do you have a hat?

[madhair60]

if i were you honestly i would give her both barrels. verbally i mean, not with a shotgun like you did bonnieacrossthestreet.

[dontpaintyourteeth]

he threw his hat into a grave?

[Buelligan]

Yes.  Hard.  And he swore.

When we were all going up to drop in a flower or some earth.  He had some flowers, dropped them in, then swore and threw in his hat.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Gonnieacrossthestreet

[Shaxberd]

Everyone has their own approach to grief and grieving, and there's no rhyme or reason to how hard someone takes a loss, but broadly speaking - just give them space to have their feelings, and a ear to listen if they want to talk about the person they've lost. That's it. You don't need to say anything or do anything. Just be around, let them handle it at their own pace, and let them talk about it, even if it comes up at weird times.

(Shortly after I lost my dad I had dinner with a friend, and when I saw her put pepper on her food I couldn't help but think "aw, Dad always used to put pepper on his food", and had to laugh at what a mundane thing that was to have a memory of.)

[touchingcloth]

Get hat in grave

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

I have pepper on my food sometimes. Better write a will.

[Vodkafone]

The rule among neurotypicals is that you're supposed to say things like "this must be hard for you, you got on well with her" and "how are you feeling about it?" instead of 'if we went to get ice cream would you feel better then?'. I trust this is of some use.

[touchingcloth]

Get flowers for Erindoors. If you can't afford flowers then you might be able to source some for free from Eracrossthestreet's memorial, but if you do, 1) make sure no one sees you, and 2) don't tell Erindoors this is where they came from.

[Dex Sawash]

Good advice all and

Gonnieacrossthestreet

Will be the contact edit rather than deletion

[markburgle]

Good advice all and

Gonnieacrossthestreet

Will be the contact edit rather than deletion

Just so there's no confusion when she calls

[Underturd]

Just express your concern for how your wife's feeling, never mind about faking your own grief, just be sympathetic for hers.

[touchingcloth]

What if he has no concern for his wife's feelings? How should he fake that?

[Sebastian Cobb]

At at least one funeral I've opted not to chuck a bit of earth in, through fear that I might fall in the hole while bending down to pick it up.

[Goldentony]

pretend to have had a mental breakdown by buying a new expensive car and drive it up to the house really close, like right up to the front door to show it off to her

[Underturd]

What if he has no concern for his wife's feelings? How should he fake that?

Buy her a power drill.

[thenoise]

Hug her and stroke her hair.

Edit: if she's bald, I dunno, maybe rub her head or something. Never had a bald wife.

[dontpaintyourteeth]

are you asking how to have empathy

[Underturd]

Power drill mate, works every time

[Captain Z]

Er, has anyone seen my hat?

[dontpaintyourteeth]

listen to toyah

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

I can't fight this feeling anymore
Not since Bonnie fell onto the floor

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

It's more than a feeling
(More than a feeling)
When I hear that old Bonnies been graved

[Lost Oliver]

I put white pepper all over my chips once because I wrongly thought it was salt. Absolutely ruined those delicious chips. I was mortified.

[Lt. Organphalia]

Wife will appreciate you doing things without being asked.

Iron every item of even vaguely funeral-acceptable clothing in the house with extreme prejudice.