Things you've inherited from ex-partners

[gazzyk1ns]

We've all done it - whether it's due to a relationship breaking up suddenly and/or badly, or just the fact that you were together so long that one or both of you mutually "acquired ownership" of certain items somwhere along the line.

I said "ex-partners" in the subject title because it amuses me how this can happen, it's not stealing and you've not received a gift... but sometimes, you can just acquire someone else's property, despite not even having been in regular contact with them for however long. But feel free to talk about things you are "inheriting" or have inherited from people you are still with!

Here are mine:

A pair of fluffy zebra-stripe slippers: My footwear has to be tight, be it work shoes, running shoes, casual trainers, or... yep, slippers. So when a girl came into my life and began regularly leaving some slippers of hers round mine, we found that I appreciated them more than she did. Christmas came a couple of months before we broke up, and I was delighted to find that a relative had bought her a brand spanking new pair of fluffy slippers. Nothing was said, and those old zebra stripe ones never returned to her house.

A cup: Now, if you whores knew me in real life, I think the one thing you might notice which you hadn't before is that nothing gets between me and a good cup of tea. One day, I was around my girlfriend's house (same one as above actually), enjoying a particularly good brew when she suddenly announced that she wanted to go swimming. She started getting ready and preparing to leave the house. "Great... but what about my fucking cup of tea!?" I thought. There was only one solution... take it with me. So I did, and after seeing her safely to the pool, I took the empty cup home with me; where it stayed.

A baggy, crappy old FILA sweater: This one was always on the cards. The girl I was with at the time was particularly fashionable (idiot). She had a FILA jumper which she loved to lounge around in when it got a bit nippy... but didn't live up to her "label Mable" personality. So a lot of the time, it remained indoors. Sometimes, round mine. Now, when I go running, I can't tolerate wearing much, it gets in the way. However, in the winter, there are times when wearing just a tshirt on your top half isn't feasible. A soft, baggy sweater is, therefore, just the ticket. Soon enough, whenever she was at mine and asking where it was, I could only apologise and say it was in the dirty washing basket, stinking of mansweat. That was also the case when we broke up.

Come on then, let's hear about yours...

[skibz]

I've still got a bra from one of my ex-girlfriends, and a bracelet... nothing particularly special, to be honest.

Of slightly more interest was one of my ex-gfs, who bought me a CD for my birthday for £5, before asking for her money back when we split up. Petty, eh?

[VegaLA]

Herpes !!

[Schlippy]

My faithful companion, Siderney.

After a particularly messy break-up, my girlfriend thought it would be best to cut up all photos of us, slash her clothes to bits and fuck off to Europe on 4 hours notice, leaving me with a flat full of her shit and the dog.

The shit was duly returned to her parents after she shacked up with some dirtbag DJ from Croydon, but I couldn't bring myself to dump on the dog any more than he'd already been dumped on, so I adopted him. And so commenced 6 years of domestic bliss, marred only by the fact that he's getting on now, and fuck me the vet's bills don't half mount up.

Still, don't know where I'd be without him, although his once-brown-now-white chops and frequent ailments are making his mortality more and more obvious.

<sob>

[untitled_london]

a deep and lasting distrust of the opposition

a lingering smell around the flat

sour taste in my mouth

aggression issues

alcohol dependency

you want more....?

okies size 14 grey knickers

(and so ends 7 years of crap sex & many arguments)

[edit:]
excellent thread btw

[Munday's Chylde]

A louffer.

(No amusing story to accompany I'm afraid.)

[Sir_Loin_Of_Beef]

a deep and lasting distrust of the opposition

a lingering smell around the flat

sour taste in my mouth

aggression issues

alcohol dependency

you want more....?

okies size 14 grey knickers

(and so ends 7 years of crap sex & many arguments)

[edit:]
excellent thread btw

That sounds like a right shower of shit....best out of that one, eh?

[hencole]

A cuddly toy.

Thats the only one I can remember anyway.

[Borboski]

Oi've only ever had one firlgfriend, and she's still with me, bless her, 7 years now since we were 18....

But if I were ever to "get rid", or more likely she me, the only way she would get her dressing gown would be from my cold dead hands. I'm 6 foot 8 and rather large, but her tiny soft red dressing gown is just the thing for late night PC action.

In fact, I'm often in it when I'm on here!

Can you imagine!?

WHAT A BIG GIRL!

[Frinky]

A copy of Robbie Williams "Angels."

I don't miss her much.

[Neville Chamberlain]

A rather nifty teardrop-shaped alarm clock.

A Wallace & Gromit corkscrew.

A deluxe Scrabble set.

And, bafflingly, a sock.

All in all, I did quite well out of her really. Apart from the sock.

[DistantAngel]

This one takes a bit of back story, so bear with me ...

During our six year long-distance relationship (me in UK, she in US), my ex had slept with between 3 and 5 people that I knew of.  The last one of these was some middle-aged fuck-hole who worked in a nearby bar.  One night they ended up having sex in her car in the car park (classy, huh?)  Shortly after this, he was in typical "boasting to his friends" mode, which involved describing her as being a not terribly good fuck (she was quite selfish in bed, I have to say).  She was, naturally, pissed off by this and decided to write him a letter saying exactly what she thought about it.  Well, I have that letter.

How?  Well, I always had a friend in my ex's younger sister - we got on, she liked me, and she really hated how badly her sister treated me.  My ex had called me on December 31st 1999 to confess that she'd cheated on me with this guy (happy fucking New Year, Kris), although it wasn't until I got my hands on the letter that I learned the truth.  You see, my ex confessed to me that, at first, it was consenting, but that she quickly decided that she'd made a mistake and wanted to stop.  However, the guy in question, she said, didn't, and it continued without consent and with a hand over the mouth.

The letter was written a week or so after the event in October 1999, but never got mailed because her sister found it lying around in her room and took it.  Over the 2 months before the end of the year, her sister made it known that she knew everything and that, if my ex didn't 'fess up to me, her sister would tell me herself.  After the confession (including the, ultimately bullshit, date rape story), I made the dumb mistake of forgiving and getting on with our lives as though nothing had happened.  I was talking with her sister one day, and it was then that it became obvious to us both that my ex hadn't been completely truthful ... she told me about the letter, I asked for it, she sent it ... it was mightily revealing ...

It revealed that it was fully consenting throughout (I mean, come on, who the fuck writes a letter to their date rapist?) ... it revealed that, at the time, my ex felt that she was in relationship with someone else who wasn't me (so she was actually cheating on a guy she was cheating with on me - fucking bitch) ... it revealed the extent of her ego and how she felt she could get any guy she wanted (only if you lose at least 100 pounds, sweetheart) ... and it revealed that she regarded our relationship as trivial, given that no reference was made to it, or me, in the letter at all ...

I still have the letter ... it's good to have around for any blackmailing emergencies :)  I also still have the addresses and phone numbers of both her parents, her sister, and her grandmother ... hmm ... convenient ...

[NobodyGetsOutAlive]

The Virgin Suicides novel. Not a bad read actuallyy and I'd always intended to buy it at somepoint anyway. However, she managed to get myA Clockwork Orange video and my copy of Bret Easton Ellis's Less Than ZerosoI think she won.

Not that it's a competitoin,obviously.

[TotalNightmare]

the clap

[Captain Crunch]

Apologies for hijacking this classic thread but I have a problem that some of you may be able to help me with.

In March I split up with my boyfriend, we'd been together for three and a half years and good friends for nearly ten.  Usual story, bad split, massive heartbreak, still not 100% over type thing.  Anyway, I have a load of his stuff still in my house and can't for the life of me decide what to do with it.  Any ideas?

Cheers

[Gazeuse]

A passable understanding of French.

[terminallyrelaxed]

Everything she couldnt get on the plane.

[untitled_london]

a deep and lasting distrust of the opposition

a lingering smell around the flat

sour taste in my mouth

aggression issues

alcohol dependency

you want more....?

okies size 14 grey knickers

(and so ends 7 years of crap sex & many arguments)

[edit:]
excellent thread btw

That sounds like a right shower of shit....best out of that one, eh?

yup

Everything she couldnt get on the plane.

cooool - anything worth e-baying?

[TotalNightmare]

Apologies for hijacking this classic thread but I have a problem that some of you may be able to help me with.

In March I split up with my boyfriend, we'd been together for three and a half years and good friends for nearly ten.  Usual story, bad split, massive heartbreak, still not 100% over type thing.  Anyway, I have a load of his stuff still in my house and can't for the life of me decide what to do with it.  Any ideas?

Cheers

Two words

WICKER.. MAN!

more words...

A bloody good seeing to.

Vulger i know, but i have been itching to write that on this site for a while now!

[gazzyk1ns]

In March I split up with my boyfriend, we'd been together for three and a half years and good friends for nearly ten.  Usual story, bad split, massive heartbreak, still not 100% over type thing.  Anyway, I have a load of his stuff still in my house and can't for the life of me decide what to do with it.  Any ideas?

Cheers

Stow it away in the top of a wardrobe/back of a cupboard until you can bring yourself to throw it away. I had to do that once, it takes a while before you find yourself binning it, but it works!

[ColaCoca]

A photo of her with her tits out.

Result.

[zozman]

A photo of her with her tits out.

Result.

I'll go first - POST IT! POST IT!POST IT!

[ColaCoca]

Actually I have to admit I havne't got it any more.  A mate of mine stayed in my room and nicked it but did leave a soiled tissue in it's place - the filthy bastard -  If you give me your address I'll post you that though.

[zozman]

No need - I've got plenty of my own.....

[no_offenc]

I got:

- paranoia in any future relationships
- various odd socks
- a copy of Stephen Hawking's "A Brief History Of Time"

Saying that, that was about 2 years ago and I'm with another girl now who I *think* has registered on here recently, not sure though, and who blows my fuckin mind off.  She's great.  And i'm not going to use the "L" word, but yeah, yep.

[Munday's Chylde]

Saying that, that was about 2 years ago and I'm with another girl now who I *think* has registered on here recently, not sure though, and who blows my fuckin mind off.  She's great.  And i'm not going to use the "L" word, but yeah, yep.

Oh sweetpea I registered years ago. And yes, I Lactate you too.

[joFFeman]

a bra or two. tossed.

barbie doll from her childhood she decorated with sharpie, scissors, and made a custom wardrobe for. it's tied up, hanging from the wall. she dubbed it 'bondage bitch barbie'.

another girlfriend gave me a necklace. it hangs around bondage bitch barbie's neck.

photographs.

the clap. treated.

boxes of clothing and computer bits. not from a formal girlfriend, just a girl who was living with me whom i fooled around with. don't know if that counts.

the habit of brushing my teeth in the shower.

the coup: steal this double album. [i'm always poorer than girls i date so they end up buying me shit because i'm generally filling the traditional feminine role in the relationship]

an enduring friendship or two.

a classic ibm server keyboard [no windows keys, heavy base] from one of her dad's old pcs. her dad likes me.

distrust when it comes to substance abuse amongst those i care about.

reason for girls i currently date to distrust me thanks to late night unexpected visits from drunken exes.

death threats.

[Cliche Guevara]

I feel sorry for Ray Parlour.

[butnut]

Herpes !!

I got scabies. Who wins?

[gazzyk1ns]

YOU decide.