Why is everyone in such a bad mood right now?

[machotrouts]

That sounds like osteoarthritis to me - something else I get to enjoy. If it was gout you'd know about it, you wouldn't be able to flex the toe at all. Or walk, come to think of it. I use a strong anti-inflammatory, Naproxen, to deal with it; the codeine is just to alleviate the actual pain.

The very thought of this is making me incredibly horny. I'm having a big wank over it already

[machotrouts]

What you're saying is we need a wet T-shirt competition. But before everyone goes all SJW: As everyone knows, I am not in the least bit misogynistic (I am merely deeply suspicious of boobs and foofs, not the souls to which they are connected) so I propose this be a male-only competition. machotrouts will no doubt be happy to join me as a judge.

Sorry I quoted the wrong post.

[Cloud]

Probably the heat.

On a similar note I'm really getting tired of worrying about and arguing about politics.  I think it could be a good time to let the world get on with whatever shit it wants to get on with and retreat back to video games...

[Barry Admin]

Probably the people moaning about the heat.

Right now, I just want a tin of Diet Coke. I'm addicted to it again. I'm sore and exhausted, and the shops are probably shut (bonfire night here), but I'm very tempted to get dressed and go down and check. I could absolutely murder a cold tin of Diet Coke.

[the]

?

[paruses]

^ Is it "sweet my bleach salt", Roy?

[garbed_attic]

Having three weeks until my book is due, personally.

[Ray Travez]

I'm ok, not in any kind of bad mood. Ask me again in Winter.

For some reason, each time I open this thread, it reminds me I need to make some peanut butter sandwiches for badgers. That's what they like, apparently. I got some 'peanut butter for dogs' from a car boot sale on Sunday; I expect it'll be right up the badgers' street. It's been dry for a few weeks, so they don't get so much of their usual food- slugs and worms and whatnot. it's a good time to feed them, and apparently what they like is peanut butter sandwiches. There's a sett just down the way; I go down there sometimes to watch them at dusk, ambling around and scratching themselves.

So, I have a goal and plan. A man needs a purpose, and apparently mine is to make peanut butter sandwiches for badgers, so help me God.

[Gregory Torso]

I'm in a terrible way. I binned all my medicine in a rum fit of hubris. I try and think about things but my mind creaks. I am officially unemployed as of yesterday, nothing in sight, family waiting for me to do something.

I won't see my wife and son for months soon, after this summer, we're going to be split apart by government, fate and continental drift. I genuinely don't know how I'm going to get through any of it.

My son is the only ONLY thing in this world that keeps me here, and keeps me trying, and he's going to be far away from me growing up wrong under guidance of grandparents.

I'm in love with the girl who works in the 7-Eleven downstairs and also my son's math teacher and also every girl I see on the subway who looks at me, I almost plead with her to take me somewhere cool and quiet and tell me it's all going to be FINE

I want to sink into the soil and feel it tingle around me as I rust. I want nettles to grow through my bones and feed on my blood.

Drill, ye tarriers, drill.

[black_betty]

I'm in a great mood.

[José]

went to the doctors and i might have some kind of mild blood clotting disorder.

i'll probably have to take iron tablets and my poo will be black and tarry and smell like a rail spike. how the hell am i supposed to live if i can't even enjoy the aroma of my own shit?

[New Jack]

Some dude doing ~80mph hit my dad's car yesterday, spinning it around four times until crashing through a helpful wall brought him to a stop. My sister was there and sent me a photo of the car and it's a write off. My dad (Old Jack) is banged up but nowt too serious it seems.

Fighting the urge not to take a shopping trolley full of improvised weapons out with me today, mainly as I'm going the hospital, where impotent yet explosive rage won't necessarily assist with waiting around for hours drinking machine coffee and thanking nurses

[New Jack]

A and E kicked me out for a bit as they're doing rounds or some shite. I've only slept an hour, but... Tell you what, finding a Toby Carvery nearby has been good. For a fiver I've got all you can eat breakfast. Gonna get a third refill of black coffee.

THERE IS A CHALLENGE ELEMENT AND I KNOW WHO'S WINNING!

[mothman]

Jesus H. Glad your dad's OK NJ.