Who would want to own this?

[non capisco]

What's the last thing you've seen in a shop window and thought "Who would want to own this?"

Mine is a framed picture in a shop in Forest Hill of a badly drawn microphone with the accompanying text "Doobie doobie do" :- Frank Sinatra.

Who would want to own that?

[Alberon]

[Mr_Simnock]

Those fucking vile characature models of the blue's brothers, or absolutely anything with betty boop

[Russ L]

I'd love to own Scooby Doo.  He'd prove invaluable in my investigations into ghouls and spooks.

[Butchers Blind]

I'd love to own Scooby Doo.  He'd prove invaluable in my investigations into ghouls and spooks.

He'd eat you into the poor house though with his appetite for tower sandwichs and scooby snacks.

[seepage]

Swarovski figurines - why?!?! This one is 450 quid!

[Kankurette]

I'd love to own Scooby Doo.  He'd prove invaluable in my investigations into ghouls and spooks.

I ret you rould, you rirty rold rollocks.

[non capisco]

Roo ron't row re! ROUR ROCKED!

[Endicott]

'Elwood' doing the Stan Laurel hat trick for some reason.

[idunnosomename]

Any FunkoPop ever

[Video Game Fan 2000]

is there a name for this:

canvas of fake pop art like Warhol Marilyns or Woodring style cartoon figures, but with graffiti or paint splashes on them, usually with sub-Banksy political imagery like dollar signs and peace signs thrown on top, or Shepherd Fairey slogans. sometimes there are a lot of smaller canvasses put together to make a big image. in a chaotic jumble that looks like neither pop art you'd see in a gallery or graffiti - it looks like someone did an AI generation for "pop art" then an AI art for "graffiti" and merged them, splashing paint over it

what the fuck is this. you see shops selling canvases of this for frightening prices. what is it? who buys it? is a some sort of obnoxious aging person equivalent to funko pops for people who are nostalgic about the YBAs? they look like props from a porno set in an art gallery.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Those shops you only seem to get in seaside towns, that sell crystals, dragon statues, dragon statues wrapped around crystals, t-shirts with wolves on, random wood carvings and Steiff bears.

WHO THE FUCK SHOPS THERE???

[flotemysost]

At risk of morphing this into a "shit you find in charity shops" thread, saw this zinger the other day:



On one hand, my threshold for kitschy tasteless bollocks is strong, I kinda love stuff like this and I sort of admire its audacity for existing.

On the other hand, if I'd seen it in a non-charity shop I just know I'd be filled with a sort of deflated pathos knowing that someone, somewhere, took the time to design that; someone fashioned the mould for it and put it in a kiln (or however the fuck you make a ceramic Big Mac) and sat there hoping it would come out OK; someone at the shop put it out in a display where they hoped people would see it, etc. Something oddly melancholy about unloved mass-produced tacky tombola fodder.

Those shops you only seem to get in seaside towns, that sell crystals, dragon statues, dragon statues wrapped around crystals, t-shirts with wolves on, random wood carvings and Steiff bears.

WHO THE FUCK SHOPS THERE???

My first thought when I clicked on this thread, and the answer is "my auntie Sylvia"

[BlodwynPig]

is there a name for this:

canvas of fake pop art like Warhol Marilyns or Woodring style cartoon figures, but with graffiti or paint splashes on them, usually with sub-Banksy political imagery like dollar signs and peace signs thrown on top, or Shepherd Fairey slogans. sometimes there are a lot of smaller canvasses put together to make a big image. in a chaotic jumble that looks like neither pop art you'd see in a gallery or graffiti - it looks like someone did an AI generation for "pop art" then an AI art for "graffiti" and merged them, splashing paint over it

what the fuck is this. you see shops selling canvases of this for frightening prices. what is it? who buys it? is a some sort of obnoxious aging person equivalent to funko pops for people who are nostalgic about the YBAs? they look like props from a porno set in an art gallery.

[thenoise]

Any FunkoPop ever

Anything HMV sells other than music and films.
Posters get a partial pass - got to cover up dents in the walls of your shitty student rental with something.

[TommyTurnips]

At risk of morphing this into a "shit you find in charity shops" thread, saw this zinger the other day:



On one hand, my threshold for kitschy tasteless bollocks is strong, I kinda love stuff like this and I sort of admire its audacity for existing.

On the other hand, if I'd seen it in a non-charity shop I just know I'd be filled with a sort of deflated pathos knowing that someone, somewhere, took the time to design that; someone fashioned the mould for it and put it in a kiln (or however the fuck you make a ceramic Big Mac) and sat there hoping it would come out OK; someone at the shop put it out in a display where they hoped people would see it, etc. Something oddly melancholy about unloved mass-produced tacky tombola fodder.

Why is the middle bit purple. Is that supposed to be a huge circular slice of onion? That seems like too much onion.

[Gurke and Hare]

Swarovski figurines

Swarovski is very obviously a money laundering front isn't it? There's never anyone in the shops.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Cow Parade

[Tony Tony Tony]

My local All Frame shop sells the biggest range of tasteless but highly expensive tat I have ever seen in one place. (Outside of a Franklin Mint catalogue)

Recently a female torso made out of bottle tops appeared proudly in the window. The sort of thing that would enliven any brothel/porn shoot anywhere. Also pretty handy for hanging coats on when the vicar pays a visit.

[studpuppet]

At risk of morphing this into a "shit you find in charity shops" thread, saw this zinger the other day:

It's not even a Zinger Tower mate. You've got the wrong shop.

[Shaxberd]

There's a shop not far from me that specialises in hideous home decor, and I wonder how the owners ever make a living.

Tacky statues of bulldogs figure heavily, shit like the following:





Someone designed these and someone else thought "yes, that's what the public want in their homes, get that in my shop".

[Small Man Big Horse]

This was in my local Traid about three weeks ago:



Looking back I wish I'd bought it and started a shrine to dead sitcom characters.

[seepage]

Those shops you only seem to get in seaside towns, that sell crystals, dragon statues, dragon statues wrapped around crystals, t-shirts with wolves on, random wood carvings and Steiff bears.

WHO THE FUCK SHOPS THERE???

A local one said their crystals were proven to protect you from Covid

[perplexingprocrastinator]

Those shops you only seem to get in seaside towns, that sell crystals, dragon statues, dragon statues wrapped around crystals, t-shirts with wolves on, random wood carvings and Steiff bears.

WHO THE FUCK SHOPS THERE???

I feel like few people patronise those shops... but those who do, have an awful lot of crystal-fairies.

Those Blues Brothers resin figurines are fucking abominations, yet still are of greater artistic merit than any funkopop ever made. Funko-pop? More like...

fuck o'plop

[non capisco]

Something oddly melancholy about unloved mass-produced tacky tombola fodder.

Imagine someone well meaningly presenting you with that burger as a housewarming present and sincerely saying "I hope you like it" with no chance that they're joking. Weapons grade poignancy all over that situation.   

[Brundle-Fly]

Ceramic comedy penis/ breasts related holiday souvenirs.

[The Mollusk]

There's a furniture shop in Kensington called Jimmie Martin that sells the most utterly garish vile tacky looking garbage you've ever seen for astonishing prices. They basically do up old furniture in their own wonderfully unique style.

Observe:



Mirror - £3500




Horse - £2500
This is nearly 1m tall. I cannot stop laughing at this one, the horse seems to be pleading with the artist, "Why?"




Chairs - £5000




Bed - £5500

I've walked past this place a few times and I am repulsed by the window display every time. It's not just the cost of the items but the sub-Banksy levels of WHOA DOES THIS OFFEND YOU? TITILLATED ARE YOU YEAH? GRAFFITI YEAH? gaudy wretchedness of it all. It's in appalling taste and looks like it was designed by a fucking 17 year old art college student. Vile.

Here's the website if you want to see more, because there is more. A lot more:
https://jimmiemartin.com/

Jimmie Martin, furniture and interior design specialists that bring the 'unthinkable' to life.

A solemn reminder that 'unthinkable' is not always a pleasant concept. The alien in The Thing and the works of Lovecraft were unthinkable because they are abominations that humanity should never be forced to cast eyes upon lest they lose their mind.

[non capisco]

£3500

Hoooooooo boy we have a winner.

[The Mollusk]

I saw some awful thing in 'Nam, but you really have to wonder at the mentality that would desecrate a helpless horse.

[perplexingprocrastinator]

There's a furniture shop in Kensington called Jimmie Martin

Rich people are so unbelievably stupid. I bet if they wrote 'tacky gullible cunt' on a mirror some thick, wealthy dolt would give them thousands of pounds for it.

Looking at the photo of them and trying to work out if they're knowingly grifting their clientele - or if their actual taste is genuinely as appalling as the shit they're shitting out of their shitty shop.