The wanking barber.

[Glebe]

"You're not wanking back there, are you?"

"Look, you know my name, you took the chance."

[Fambo Number Mive]

"Could you hold this while I get the clippers?"

"What is it?"

"Just some more of my semen"

[Glebe]

LATER.

"Hold this, would you?"

"What is it?"

"My cock."

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

🎵 The Wanking Barber
Doo Boo Dee Doo
The Wanking Barbeeeer
Doo Boo Da Dee 🎵

[Pingers]

The wanking barber has taken on an apprentice - a chimpanzee. It can't cut hair, but boy can it wank!

[Mr Farenheit]

A man walks into a barbers.

There are half a dozen customers but none of them are in a seat having their hair cut. Instead they're gathered round something on the floor in a kind of huddle shouting, whooping and exchanging high fives. Some of them are filming with their phones.

'Yeeaaaah look at him go!'

'Fuck yeah! Hes really working that thing!'

'I'm gonna slap it! Make sure you get me for my blog.... (slap) woooohooo! Yeah! Did you get it??'

'Jerk it you son of a gun! Yeeeehaw!' Says one of the crowd while slapping his cowboy hat to the side of his thigh.

On the floor is the focus of their attention, a man stripped to slightly below the waist writhing and spasming on the floor and masturbating furiously. The Wanking Barber! His face, torso and extended tongue are covered in hair clippings and hair oil which he is exhorting the customers to pour on him when he isn't making loud animalistic grunts.

The man catches the Wanking Barbers eye for a second.

'Hello sir, come for a haircut? Just take that seat nearest the door. Ill be with you in a jiffy!'

'Waaaaaarghhh! More oil! More oil you bastards! Uuuurrgghh! Ooooh yeah! Oooh oooohh. Stand back, I call this one Exploding Bridge!'

'Yeeeeaaahhh! Go Wanking Barber, Go!'

'Woooooooooooow there she fuckin blows!'

'Wanking legend! Look at thaaat!'

'I'm covered! Lol'

[Pingers]

The wanking barber goes on holiday, so his friend the human toilet barber minds the shop for him.

"No. 2 all over? I wouldn't say no, sir!"

[Huxleys Babkins]

The semen barber of Fleet Street.