Cricket 2023/2024: The Man With the Fucked Knee

[iamcoop]

Reports now coming in that Maxwell has fallen off the back of a Bedford Rascal, killing him instantly, Wisden understands

[Inspector Norse]

BIN FOR BAIRSTOW

watch him score 80 off 50 against Pakistan and save his career again now.

[Thursday]

Going to have to agree on this one

[Thursday]

Losing this is good because it gives us time to play a couple of Test Matches against one of the other non-qualifiers.

[Inspector Norse]

Moeen over the last six years

[shoulders]

All the slogging and he's actually hit fewer sixes at a far lower scoring rate.

As I said a week back, they are left with an imagined idea of the player rather than the actual present day player.

[Inspector Norse]

The sad thing is that he genuinely was a really good player in about 2015, but by trying to turn him into a frontline spinner who can throw his bat rather than a middle-order batter who can bowl a bit, they're ruined his game. He's basically in the team because his bowling economy rate isn't totally leprous.

Looked up WOAKESY in the same period and he has a higher average, higher strike rate and more 50s but will always be regarded as a bowler who can bat 8-9.

[iamcoop]

Love WOAKESY

[poo]

People are still following this? Hardcore.

[Inspector Norse]

People are still following this? Hardcore.

Mainly out of morbid curiosity, the hardcore is the WOAKESY content

[Thursday]

People are still following this? Hardcore.

No job at the moment.

[shoulders]

Smashing these bogtrotting troglodytes back to the middle ages.

[iamcoop]

It's finally coming home

[shoulders]

I see we haven't taken a wicket for 7 overs. We're shit again, round them up.

[lebowskibukowski]

Have just seen the Joe Root dismissal. Truly one for the ages.

[Pauline Walnuts]

Go WOAKESY go BROAKESY

_{I don't know what that means.}

[Thursday]

CHAMPIONS TROPHY 2025 IS BACK ON LET'S GOOOOO

[shoulders]

Bangladesh and Netherlands know that you do NOT fuck with the ENG WC2023 crew

[MrMealDeal]

To India fans: "Champions of Europe, you'll never sing that, champions of Europe, you'll never sing that"

[centristmelt]

Joking aside, there should be an occasional European Championship with England, Ireland, Scotland, Netherlands and maybe a couple of other nations.

[iamcoop]

Root's embarrassing dogshit wicket aside, Moeen's dogshit wicket aside, Bairstow being laughable anus aside, Malan run-out AIDS CRU ASSEMBLE run out aside, and one-legged thug having a crack at 13 year olds aside, that was an extremely convincing win for us and I can see nothing but sunny uplands ahead.

[MrMealDeal]

Just realised that if England had beaten Australia they'd be in semi-final contention today, three days before the end of the group stage

[Pranet]

Joking aside, there should be an occasional European Championship with England, Ireland, Scotland, Netherlands and maybe a couple of other nations.

Well, there is this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2023_European_Cricket_Championship

England are current champions. I watched the final on youtube as it happens. Made up of minor county players.

[shoulders]

If only England had shown half the fight of Afghanistan.

[MrMealDeal]

Amazing paragraph in Barney Ronay's article on Pakistan:

The chief selector, Inzamam‑ul-Haq, then resigned mid-tournament over talk of a conflict of interest after it emerged Inzamam and various Pakistan players are shareholders in Yazoo International Ltd, a company also owned by a powerful player agent. And yes, it really is that Yazoo, the milky drink, although Inzy has since revealed he originally intended to use the company to sell bicycle helmets ("unfortunately we didn't achieve success"), which presumably clears something up. 

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2023/nov/10/unwelcome-feuding-and-beleaguered-pakistans-cricket-world-cup-is-on-the-ropes

[shoulders]

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2023/nov/07/stuart-broad-interview-england-australia-spirit-of-cricket

Next revelation, McCullum unable to fathom how averages work

As captured in his book, the 14 months Broad played under Stokes and Brendon McCullum were the happiest of his career. He is full of praise for McCullum and the way in which he diminishes any fear of failure and encourages feelings of enjoyment and freedom. "It's deeper than you think," Broad says of McCullum's philosophy. "He's been incredibly disciplined with his language. At no stage has he ever been negative or critical. Rather than being like a head coach, he is more of a psychologist.

"He would say to Zak Crawley: 'I don't want you to average 40 by getting 40 every game. I prefer you to go nought, nought, nought, 70.

That gets you an average of 23.33.

I get the point but I would absolutely take anyone who scored 40 every single game. You want as much positive certainty as you can get.

[Inspector Norse]

Classic Moeen in his final ODI innings. Runs out Buttler, hits a six, gets out for 8.

WOAKESY with the not out seeing things through, always the pro.

[druss]

England have arrived, our World Cup starts today.

[Thursday]

Getting better at the end of the tournament, perhaps if this group had played some warm-up games in similar conditions?

Impossible I suppose.

[druss]

Not interested in what the maths boffins have to say. If England put in a good performance here I think they can still make the semis.