I'm off to Hollywood!

[Ferris]

Can't believe it, Spielberg and De Niro just called - they wanna make me a star!!

[BlodwynPig]

Jace Spielberg and Todd de Niro? The owners of the gay sauna in West Hollywood? Wow, hitting the big time

[Glebe]

Glebe here with the latest from Tinseltown! It's officially been announced folks, Ferris is leaving the baseball world behind and is heading for Beverly Hills! Strictly on the QT, but word has it that he's already started dating starlets such as Margot Robbie, Kristin Stewart and - get this - Timothée Chalamet! But you didn't hear it from me!

But on a darker note, the goss on the grapevine is that the former world class switch-hitter has already become something of a prima donna, 'allegedly' (?) telling Spielberg to 'get the fuck out of my face!' and demanding that fresh wodges of rare cheese be left in his trailer every morn! Watch this space for more scandal!

[Gob Shine Algorithm]

Are you sure is was DeNiro and not just Elias Koteas? It's always worth getting a DNA test just to be sure.

[frajer]

Breaking news! Ferris ousted from Marvel's The Fantastic Four, before he even stepped on set.

"He wanted to rename it The Ferristastic Ferris," Kevin Feige explained. "Not very on brand. Not very on brand at all. He's getting six seasons of a Disney Plus show instead and he'll be fucking grateful about it."

[Glebe]

Rumoured for Galactus then he went and called Feige 'a cunt who ruins the baseball cap look'.

[Russ L]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hollywood,_Worcestershire

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Blood on the casting couch
Tra la la la la

[Glebe]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hollywood,_Worcestershire

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holywood,_County_Down

[frajer]

[Ferris]

Its like I was telling Seinfeld and the bloke from Lost at lunch today - cunts always try to bring you down to their level.

[Glebe]

This cunt been #metoo'd yet?

[Russ L]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holywood,_County_Down

The godlessness of Hollywood all resides in that second 'l'.

[Ferris]

Not been announced yet, but your favourite HS Art poster may get a star on the Hollywood walk of fame any day now...

[selectivememory]

Not been announced yet, but your favourite HS Art poster may get a star on the Hollywood walk of fame any day now...

Wow, that's exciting news!

Anyway, how is your Hollywood adventure going, Ferris?

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Two pound ten a tit, and a fiver for his arse

[frajer]

Two pound ten a tit, and a fiver for his arse

These Fast & Furious titles are getting properly baffling.

[madhair60]

sad news; Ferris has "gone Hollywood" (committed multiple sexual assaults)

[Theoretical Dentist]

Is that like Bollywood but in Honduras?

[Ferris]

Just got back from set, I'm shootin' a new picture. It's gonna be huge!

[Glebe]

Unless it's Teddy's Christmas 2 I'm not interested!

[Ferris]

It is with great sadness that I am announcing today: I will be leaving Hollywood.

[steve98]

It is with great sadness that I am announcing today: I will be leaving Hollywood.

Aww. I only just found out 2 minutes ago you were a part of it. And now your not. :(

[Ferris]

Aww. I only just found out 2 minutes ago you were a part of it. And now your not. :(

I haven't left yet, what do you need?

[kalowski]

Holyrood, it's called.

[Ferris]

Is this a pop at my accent? Because that is not on.

[popcorn]

Ferris Goes to Hollywood

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

I haven't left yet, what do you need?

A can of Tizer and a Creme Egg, please.

[Ferris]

Ok does anyone else want anything? Because I'm not making two trips.

[Poobum]

Can I have a six pack of Hollywood starlets please? Or one Florence Pugh?