Squirting

[_Hypnotoad_]

Me too. I'm massively intrigued.

A disappointing lack of first-hand female verbwhore stories in this thread so far, I have to say.

Yes, I think it's just us hairy men sitting around in hope more than anything.

Surely that filthy beaner will have something to share

I think at the very least she should re-write Sheepy's incredibly un-erotic retelling of a professor watching someone wank to ejaculation and make it more Quagmire-friendly

I think the skepticism about this is born out of the pissing that passes for squirting in modern pornos

[boxofslice]

You're not a real man until you've made a woman squirt.

[Dolly Parton]

Hey y'all, I spray me a river boys. Squirting 9 to 5 colt prettyboy wildwest rawhide aint it now?!

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I think the skepticism about this is born out of the pissing that passes for squirting in modern pornos

I wonder what percentage of squirting denialists/skeptics also disbelieve/are skeptical about female bisexuality. Just a fun thought.

[Zero Gravitas]

Y'know, I don't know if you're trying to wind me up in this thread, but you're certainly succeeding.

I'm very sorry Ambient I was simply trying to humorous, In reality I fully accept that female ejaculate is made up of a fluid wholly unique from urine.

I genuinely meant no offence.

[PAGATRON]

You're not a real man until you've made a woman squirt.

Quote of the week

Thanks boxofslice you almost made me choke on my banana, ohhh....

[_Hypnotoad_]

squirting denialists

:-D

I'm a real man and I haven't made a woman squirt, though one asked me once if anything had come out as I ascended from a fairly juicy diving expedition

I did once talk an incredibly hot one into slashing on me though :ninjasmiley:

[Ginyard]

Even when they're thrashing around like a parkinsons victim trying to do the timewarp in an eathquake I've never witnessed a forceful gush of liquid like the ones described here. Plenty of cream, yeah, but a geyser?

I wonder what the percentage of women who can spurt violent is.

[Guy]

Spurty percent.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I wonder what the percentage of women who can spurt violent is.

Spurty Percent.


edit- damn

[Jemble Fred]

Even when they're thrashing around like a parkinsons victim trying to do the timewarp in an eathquake I've never witnessed a forceful gush of liquid like the ones described here. Plenty of cream, yeah, but a geyser?

Well, similarly, I'm concerned that the lady who provided you with her own 'cottage cheese' must have been terribly ill. Cum, yes, but cottage cheese?

[Zero Gravitas]

I wonder what the percentage of women who can spurt violent is.

10%-100% dependant on the number of glasses of water consumed in the hour before coitus and bladder control.

[Ginyard]

Well, similarly, I'm concerned that the lady who provided you with her own 'cottage cheese' must have been terribly ill. Cum, yes, but cottage cheese?

Creamy white discharge, like the watery liquid from a cottage cheese pot, not literally thick clumps of the stuff!

[The Boston Crab]

I once bumped pelvis with a cracking lass I met during an exam. She was extremely physically attractive and seemed to want to do nothing but shag, often interrupting my hilarious/fascinating anecdote by just taking her clothes off. The only 'bad' thing was that she often used to cry after sex, not really in a sexy way, in a way that expressed pure shame and disgust with herself for succumbing to carnal desires. Kinda took the edge of my incumbent grief boner. I suspect she had a pretty retarded upbringing. Anyway, the final straw seemed to 'come' (lots of laughs!) when she accidentally squirted and broke up with me almost immediately afterwards. I was pretty devastated as I'd never parted such a hot slice of trout in my young life.

The only other time it happened was equally surprising, with another girl a few weeks later. As I plundered her booty one early Autumn afternoon, I was mostly looking out of the window at this bit of French fluff playing frisbee. That chick's tits were almost spiritually depressing, so unearthly was their creation that I believed I'd need another sense or two to fully appreciate their magnficence. Anyway, there I was, soaking up the unpredictable aesthetic joy of whoppers in motion when the hearty wench propped up on my boomstick pierced the porthole and gave me the fright of my young life. Fortunately, she was too busy sluicing her canal to realise my prior distraction. Good times.

[_Hypnotoad_]

Creamy white discharge, like the watery liquid from a cottage cheese pot, not literally thick clumps of the stuff!

oh dude, this still sounds fucked up to me

sounds like she had some kind of yeast infection

[boxofslice]

That chick's tits were almost spiritually depressing, so unearthly was their creation that I believed I'd need another sense or two to fully appreciate their magnficence.

Marvellous.

[_Hypnotoad_]

I once bumped pelvis with a cracking lass I met during an exam. She was extremely physically attractive and seemed to want to do nothing but shag, often interrupting my hilarious/fascinating anecdote by just taking her clothes off. The only 'bad' thing was that she often used to cry after sex, not really in a sexy way, in a way that expressed pure shame and disgust with herself for succumbing to carnal desires. Kinda took the edge of my incumbent grief boner. I suspect she had a pretty retarded upbringing. Anyway, the final straw seemed to 'come' (lots of laughs!) when she accidentally squirted and broke up with me almost immediately afterwards. I was pretty devastated as I'd never parted such a hot slice of trout in my young life.

The only other time it happened was equally surprising, with another girl a few weeks later. As I plundered her booty one early Autumn afternoon, I was mostly looking out of the window at this bit of French fluff playing frisbee. That chick's tits were almost spiritually depressing, so unearthly was their creation that I believed I'd need another sense or two to fully appreciate their magnficence. Anyway, there I was, soaking up the unpredictable aesthetic joy of whoppers in motion when the hearty wench propped up on my boomstick pierced the porthole and gave me the fright of my young life. Fortunately, she was too busy sluicing her canal to realise my prior distraction. Good times.

[Ginyard]

oh dude, this still sounds fucked up to me

sounds like she had some kind of yeast infection

Oh no, not a yeast infection! OMG.

Nah, it didn't smell or anything. I think that would be the giveaway. Probably caused by friction, and I've seen it a few times, including with the first girl I slept with who was most certainly a virgin.

[Zero Gravitas]

However, it isn't piss.  It doesn't really look like piss, and it certainly doesn't smell like piss...

Nah, it didn't smell or anything.

Why is everyone in this thread so obsessed with smelling discharges!?

[Ginyard]

Its not an obsession, its a sport.

[boxofslice]

Why is everyone in this thread so obsessed with smelling discharges!?

Don't worry, we'll get round to coprophilia soon.

[Zero Gravitas]

Now that's something I can get below*!




_{*Preferably separated by a glass table.}

[_Hypnotoad_]

Why is everyone in this thread so obsessed with smelling discharges!?

Maybe they both work for that company that make the scent of a womans crotch fragrance

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I once bumped pelvis with a cracking lass I met during an exam. She was extremely physically attractive and seemed to want to do nothing but shag, often interrupting my hilarious/fascinating anecdote by just taking her clothes off. The only 'bad' thing was that she often used to cry after sex, not really in a sexy way, in a way that expressed pure shame and disgust with herself for succumbing to carnal desires. Kinda took the edge of my incumbent grief boner. I suspect she had a pretty retarded upbringing. Anyway, the final straw seemed to 'come' (lots of laughs!) when she accidentally squirted and broke up with me almost immediately afterwards. I was pretty devastated as I'd never parted such a hot slice of trout in my young life.

Surely all this was putting off the other students.

[Hank_Kingsley]

Did the discharge smell like another man's dick cheese? A sure sign of infidelity.

[The Boston Crab]

Can I just say the word 'invagilate' and mug to camera?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Did the discharge smell like another man's dick cheese? A sure sign of infidelity.

Infidairylea

Inphiladelphiality

Infi..oh this isn't working...

Can I just say the word 'invagilate' and mug to camera?

:D

Yes, you can.

[koeman]

Right, that's enough of all this cheese talk. What I want now is the cold, hard facts - how do I get my lady to go off like Stan Collymore in a La Manga bar? (But not to go off like Stan Collymore in a Paris bar, that's for another thread. This thread, coincidentally enough).

I haven't got a lady at the moment, admittedly, so I'm off to the 'Flirting' thread at the moment to help me get one. This forum's pretty much a one-stop handy guide to life at the moment.

So, what's the best method to get 'em squirting?

[Jemble Fred]

I don't think it's a question of method, but individual bodily behaviour. One girl's muted whimper is another's niagara falls.

So consider your courting a form of squirty Russian Roulette.

[rudi]

Creamy white discharge, like the watery liquid from a cottage cheese pot, not literally thick clumps of the stuff!

What the living fuck are you doing to these women??