We need to achieve a consensus about Cheryl Cole

[Backstage With Slowdive]

We've been letting the issue flap about for ages, but now we need to really hammer out an official position on the whole matter. What does the Groupthink think?

[Zero Gravitas]

Who's Cheryl Cole?

[buttgammon]

Will disinterest do?

[chocky909]

I like how she pronounces "Life" on that advert. She pronounces it "Layfe".

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Oh pur-leeeeeze.

Not in that way.

[Zero Gravitas]

I've just done some research and I think she's a national treasure with awful hair.

[Lee]

Who's Cheryl Cole?

She once called a toilet attendant a "black bitch", was charged with racially-motivated assault, and went on to become A National Treasure (tm) by virtue of being a reality TV star.

One might draw a parallel with Leslie Grantham...







.......if one were particularly thick.

[Lee]

Oh, and apparently she's nearly less popular than a sausage roll. It's a Facebook thing.

[Depressed Beyond Tables]

Is a consensus like an erection? If so I'm way ahead of you.

[Pseudopath]

Born in Newcastle-upon-Tyne on 30th June 1983.
Enrolled with the Royal Ballet's summer school at the age of nine.
Appeared in two British Gas adverts and an SCS advert with her younger brother, Garry.
Released her debut solo album, 3 Words, on 26th October 2009.
Dreams That Glitter is the name of Girls Aloud's autobiography, first published in October 2008.

Cheryl Cole is not a fan of acrostics.

[rudi]

Has he worked since Minder?

[thehungerartist]

"There were three of us in that marriage."

In an ironic twist, the 'other person' was a 3 Mobile.

[Blumf]

Is she any relation to Nat King Cole?

[gmoney]

Or "Goal King" Cole, Andy Cole?

[boxofslice]

I think she's a cunt.

[Marty McFly]

[Blumf]

I think she's a cunt.

Well, if you're going to objectify women to that extent.

[Still Not George]

I would objectify her. Possibly as a table.

[biggytitbo]

I don't really know who Cheryl Cole is apart from the whole black cleaner unpleasantness, but I hope 'someone' pushes a shit through her letterbox.

[switchbitch]

She was accused of being racist, then married Ashley Cole. That's taking hrr efforts to prove she's not racist a bit further than "some of my best friends are black", wouldn't you say?

[rudi]

She was accused of being racist, then married Ashley Cole. That's taking hrr efforts to prove she's not racist a bit further than "some of my best friends are black", wouldn't you say?

You haven't seen how she treats him round the house. Works him like a, like a, errrm, like a dog. Yes.

[chand]

Or "Goal King" Cole, Andy Cole?

That's Andrew Cole to you, mister.

[rudi]

Brother of Joe.

[Hank_Kingsley]

She was accused of being racist, then married Ashley Cole. That's taking hrr efforts to prove she's not racist a bit further than "some of my best friends are black", wouldn't you say?

That's like Andy Cole sleeping with lots of women in a vain attempt to prove he's not a poofter. Which he almost definitely is.

[Blumf]

If you subject her to extreme temperature and pressure will her name change to Cheryl Diamond?

[biggytitbo]

If you subject her to extreme temperature and pressure will her name change to Cheryl Diamond?

I don't know but its the only reality TV show I'd bother to watch.

[koeman]

I hate that song about fighting for your love. Hate it. Hate it.

And I watched some documentary (that can't be the right word) about Girls Aloud the other week, and she came across as a bit of a whinging miseryguts. And her own nephew didn't recognise her.

All that said, I wouldn't mind half a chance to make her squirt.

[Uncle TechTip]

It's a really terrible song, isn't it. Like you can imagine Kylie, Gaga or some other female divas all turned it down, leaving Tweedy to pick up the scraps. I think it's the lack of key changes in the chorus, just 'fight fight fight' repeatedly on the same note, makes it a hugely irritating tune. Despite the moribund state of modern pop music there still aren't many songs which have you actively covering your ears. But this is one.

[An tSaoi]

I hate her bloody accent. I hate her bloody songs. Her hair is stupid. She's too gaunt. And she's on The X Factor which automatically makes her evil.

[biggytitbo]

I've never heard any of her music and on that basis I'd certainly botty-ram her if the opportunity arose but only on that condition that she remained silent then left straight afterwards,