Frankly, I expected better of myself

[Treguard of Dunshelm]

I got a phone call at work a few months ago from one Debbie Mycock. I managed to stifle my laughter when I was speaking to her, but as soon as I put the phone down I yelled "I JUST HAD A PHONE CALL FROM MY COCK!" Oh how we laughed!

[Neville Chamberlain]

After being young and taking myself a bit too seriously, I now completely embrace the side of me that finds farting, crap limericks and rude names funny.

Indeed, it's my ambition to visit the village of Twatt on the Shetland Islands.

[the midnight watch baboon]

I live near the village of Bedlam, and have an as yet unsatisfied itch to get a pic of me stood beside its sign, looking crazed and confused.

[Neville Chamberlain]

I grew up fairly close to the village of Shitterton, and have an as yet unsatisfied itch to get a pic of me stood beside its sign, doing a poo.

[Whug Baspin]

Ha yes Piddle, Shitterton, Poo(le), Dorset has it all.

[Milo]

I got a phone call at work a few months ago from one Debbie Mycock.

"Hi, I'm Miss Mycock"

"Shouldn't have had the sex change then, mate"

[Neville Chamberlain]

Ha yes Piddle, Shitterton, Poo(le), Dorset has it all.

Not to mention Ringwood, a town whose name is made up entirely of two rude words!!!

[vrailaine]

My dad knows a guy called Mike Hunt and another called Mick Hunt, isn't as rare of a name as it should be, clearly. Always leads to giggles, he doesn't seem to realise though, think that's part of it.

[Whug Baspin]

I know a Mike Hunt!, what are the parents thinking, I also remember having a family friend called Nicholas Hore.

[the midnight watch baboon]

it's not rude, but I recently met someone called Hubert Chicken and I couldn't stop smirking and grinning inanely.

[non capisco]

I laughed perhaps more than the situation demanded when I saw a laminated typewritten card standing on a pool table that read 'Please Do Not Touch Cloth'.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

it's not rude, but I recently met someone called Hubert Chicken and I couldn't stop smirking and grinning inanely.

A Cyril Chicken exists as well. I'm not sure which I prefer.

[Neville Chamberlain]

I laughed perhaps more than the situation demanded when I saw a laminated typewritten card standing on a pool table that read 'Please Do Not Touch Cloth'.

What was their policy on the Turtle's Head?!?

[koeman]

My dad knows a guy called Mike Hunt and another called Mick Hunt, isn't as rare of a name as it should be, clearly. Always leads to giggles, he doesn't seem to realise though, think that's part of it.

The Head Groundsman at Lord's is also called Mick Hunt.

A friend of mine once did some business with these good people:

http://www.yell.com/b/Alan+Twatt+(Potatoes)+Ltd-Farmers-Banff-AB453HT-4353984/index.html

And found himself texting everyone in his phonebook to share the news.

[the midnight watch baboon]

A Cyril Chicken exists as well. I'm not sure which I prefer.

aww they sound like lovely old brothers, like Private Godfrey x2

[daimoniac]

having worked in a call centre before, there have ben the inevitable times when laughter had to be stifled:

me: good morning, thanks for calling (--) how can i help?
african sounding customer: my broadband doesnt work
me: ok, can i take your name please
african sounding customer: john khun (pronouncing his name coon)
me: ok, can you just bear with me while i bring up your details... (hold and laughter)

that day i also had an OAP call who went into her llife story, including things about her kids, and was ironically called margaret hymen, a glynis onions, and terrence crapper.

another one i had which really set me off was a fella called "bernard matthews" who had set a piece of memorable information on his account to "bootiful" - he was class about it - he said "well, we cant help the name were born with, can we - we might as well have a laugh with it"

[Galeee]

I can't keep a straight face when I ask the pet shop bloke if he's got fat balls.

[Alternative Carpark]

I still can't treat the word Wii, as in Nintendo Wii, seriously.

[non capisco]

I still can't treat the word Wii, as in Nintendo Wii, seriously.

Yeah. Wii Fit sounds like some dietary health TV programme where someone awful like Gillian McKeith analyses your piss whilst clucking her tongue.

[ziggy starbucks]

I can't keep a straight face when I ask the pet shop bloke if he's got fat balls.

Similarly when I ask for bird nuts

[Cerys]

http://www.yell.com/b/Alan+Twatt+(Potatoes)+Ltd-Farmers-Banff-AB453HT-4353984/index.html

It was James Twatt when I encountered it in the mid 'nineties.  Nice to see evidence of the endurance of Twatts.

[Bingo Fury]

A friend of mine once did some business with these good people:

http://www.yell.com/b/Alan+Twatt+(Potatoes)+Ltd-Farmers-Banff-AB453HT-4353984/index.html

Just couldn't help but mention: my dad knows him really well. He pronounces it "twot", unfortunately.

[non capisco]

He pronounces it "twot", unfortunately.

Well, you would, wouldn't you?



Actually, judging by The Sopranos, 'twot' is how Americans pronounce 'twat' so it still sort of works.

[Blue Jam]

There's a gap in the blinds at work that can become quite bothersome at 3 in the afternoon-ish and I cannot stop myself saying that I'm been distracted by a slit.

Alright, alright, it makes me laugh.

I've been studying a signalling molecule called Slit, which binds to a receptor known as Robo in the developing brain. All the talk of Robo/Slit interactions puts me in mind of a porn version of Transformers. And makes me giggle.

It is not becoming for a neuroscientist to giggle at such things. Mind you, I'm also studying a gene someone named Sonic hedgehog, and one of my final exams from my first degree had a question about a fictional company called GeneItalia. Scientists of all ages can be pretty childish.

[The Widow of Brid]

I'm having a bit of a similar thing at the moment with the Hebrew word 'reshit'. Which keeps parsing in my head as either RE:Shit or re-shit and making me giggle like a tool.

[Cerys]

You've just reminded me of the feeling of utter joy I had while reading the King James bible a few years back.  On the one hand, it's a damn fine read (Numbers excepted).  On the other ... shittim wood.

[Suttonpubcrawl]

I'm having a bit of a similar thing at the moment with the Hebrew word 'reshit'. Which keeps parsing in my head as either RE:Shit or re-shit and making me giggle like a tool.

It's what Sean Connery did when he failed his A-Levels.

[Brundle-Fly]

A fish and chip shop in my home town decided to write a Christmas message in spray snow on their front window.
'Merry Xmas To One An' All'. Unfortunately, they ran out of space and it said,

'MERRY XMAS TO ONE ANAL'

This happened in 1982 and it still makes me chuckle.

[mcbpete]

Me and a mate spent far too long hungover on a sunday looking at the US Census Data website. Some of these people must've had it tough at schoool -

http://www.census-gov.us/search/KUNTZ,TITUS
http://www.census-gov.us/search/BELT,CHASTITY
http://www.census-gov.us/search/RING,DICK
http://www.census-gov.us/search/TITZE,ROSY
http://www.census-gov.us/search/TITZE,YOUNG
http://www.census-gov.us/search/HEAD,DICK
http://www.census-gov.us/search/KUNTZ,SHAVON
http://www.census-gov.us/search/TAYLOR,JENNY
http://www.census-gov.us/search/BALLS,ISAAC
http://www.census-gov.us/search/DICKS,SUK
http://www.census-gov.us/search/DICKS,ISAAC
http://www.census-gov.us/search/SURPRISE,DICK
http://www.census-gov.us/search/SEXSON,GAY
http://www.census-gov.us/search/SHAFTO,DONG
http://www.census-gov.us/search/SHAFTO,DICK
http://www.census-gov.us/search/BURGER,IVANA
http://www.census-gov.us/search/CHEESE,DICK
http://www.census-gov.us/search/FAT,MAN
http://www.census-gov.us/search/TITZE,OPHELIA
http://www.census-gov.us/search/KUNTZ,HARRY
http://www.census-gov.us/search/KUNTZ,ISMAEL
http://www.census-gov.us/search/HARDON,IVA

I'm ashamed of myself.....

[non capisco]

There's a noodle bar in London called Phat Phuc.
http://www.phatphucnoodlebar.com/

Translates as 'Happy Buddha' apparently. It's just round the corner from a cowboy boot shop called R. Soles, which I can only assume is deliberate.